Recent Blogs Posts

Screw it, I threw the rules to the wind and got pissed off about the fact that he could talk for three minutes after I got out of work.

After working 8 hours at my horrible job, I like the solace of getting into the car, dialing his number, and having a conversation with him for a couple minutes as I go to the gym. I am spoiled, and selfish, and feel very needy, but we've gotten into this pattern for three months and I don't like breaking it.

But next time I will ...

So I'm in Croatia, stayin with my friend
And Im good, dyin my hair right now into a red oo

Anyway I was afraid I couldnt see my love all those days (I know we're addicted to seein each other!)
But I got my laptop with me since my friends laptop has no cam, and I can use her internet so Im able to get on

Im so glad I still get to see him.
When I left I told him that I wish the purpose of me packin my bags and leavin was that I'd go ...

This was from a Dear Prudence column this week:

Q. I Don't Like My Son's Girlfriend, but He Wants To Propose: My youngest (in his 20s) has a girlfriend that I can't stand. She's a beautiful girl, and very smart and nice, but she's very unrealistic. She is always telling my son that he can "do anything he sets his mind to if he works hard" and that he should go after all his dreams in life. This is all well and good, but I want my son to have a serious, realistic outlook ...

I know you should enjoy every second of every day but my life feels like it is on pause for the next year.

• Right now I'm in a miserable living situation with my cousin where I skip dinner just so I don't run into them in the living room. She tries to encourage me to dump Judsen and hook up with someone else so I've started avoiding her completely. I can get my own place in May when my lease is up.
• I'm working at a place where my coworkers hate me and I have no work to do. I have

...

Brain, hold me I'm scared.

I'm scared too, Heart.

Brain, what are we going to do?

We need to decide what we want, Heart.

Well what are our choices, Brain?

Choices are, 'a ring', 'the question', 'both' or 'neither'.

Um.... I don't know what I want, Brain. It's too hard. You decide.

Heart, pull it together, slow down a bit, I can't think. I feel faint.

Well, Brain, what do you think? ...

I'll try to make this short.

I got the money from work today. And it's not as much as I'd expected... To be more exact its about 300euros less than I thought I'd get...
I basically calculated that even if I'd get myself a new phone, I'd still have about at least 700euros which would be just enough for the flight ticket (maybe 100euros more but that wouldnt be a big deal)
And right now I have only 500euros (thanks to my monthly pocket money its that much).
...

So, pretty much all I talk about lately on here is our meeting in November. But I'm just so dang anxious! We're booking our flights on Tuesday (day I get paid). We're both super anxious to book the flights. We both feel like after we do it will feel more real, more obtainable.

I spoke to my manager more in depth about when I'll be going and such and now have a definite yes and know exactly what I need to do to make it happen. Part of the "what I need to do to make it happen" ...

Haven't blogged here in a while. I opened up an LJ for the everyday stuff and there hasn't been, well, anything going on LDR wise. His internet's still not connected, I haven't gotten a reply text in a few days, and right now I'm a bit scared. Not about that, but about what's been going on with me that will most definitely affect our relationship if/when we live together.

Being Bipolar, I get the joy of knowing my entire life will be spent shuffling medication, constantly adjusting ...