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Just had a first visit in my first LDR

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    Just had a first visit in my first LDR

    So i am a new member never joined a forum like this but indont have anyone to give LDR advice to me

    So me and my current gf have know eachother online for about 7 years and have always had a thing for eachother just never told eachother so needless to say we went on our way i was in a 4 year long relationship and have a kid with my ex who left me on my birthday in dec 2016 (thats another story)

    in the first few days of march of 2017 my current gf and i got back into contact she was in a relationship of two years at the time but it was a toxic relationship with no feeling from her anyways we talked for a month before she left that guy we started our LDR few days later started dating march 30th

    We just had our first meeting this weekend started friday and she went home Sunday afternoon (she lives 1.5hrs drive away but doesnt drive and neither do i) it was the most amazing time i have ever had i gave her fake flowers with a card saying "these flowers represent my undying love for you" we went to dinner and a movie went out for breakfast one day had a picknick waterside at a park here even though it was cold and we cut the picknic short went browsing at stores even watched a few movies at home and cuddled (had sexual interactions after going to bed together)

    So with all that said i dont know if i am too attached to this relationship or not but since she has left i have not been able to do anything but just sit here thinking of the weekend with tears rolling down my cheeks is that normal to feel so lost and distraught after a visit?

    I know she is just as invested as me in making this work and we ultimately want the same goal out of us being together and thats living together getting married and having a family but some times me being so vocal over texts and her not texting long heartfelt replies like i send to her makes me worry is that normal?

    Sorry for the long post as i said i have no one to turn to for advice or to compare relationships to find out whats normal or not thank you for any replies before hand if anyone chooses to help me out
    Last edited by Arcasylum; May 7, 2017, 08:04 PM. Reason: Spacing out paragraphs

    #2
    Originally posted by Arcasylum View Post
    So with all that said i dont know if i am too attached to this relationship or not but since she has left i have not been able to do anything but just sit here thinking of the weekend with tears rolling down my cheeks is that normal to feel so lost and distraught after a visit?

    I know she is just as invested as me in making this work and we ultimately want the same goal out of us being together and thats living together getting married and having a family but some times me being so vocal over texts and her not texting long heartfelt replies like i send to her makes me worry is that normal?

    Sorry for the long post as i said i have no one to turn to for advice or to compare relationships to find out whats normal or not thank you for any replies before hand if anyone chooses to help me out
    Welcome to LFAD. First time LDR's take some getting used to. It's important to not let you emotions take over your life. Yes, we all miss our SO's and especially so after a visit. Letting yourself have a little time to adjust after they leave is okay. However, becoming an emotional wreck isn't healthy. You are 29 years old and had an established life before you reconnected with your SO. That life is still there. Now, you have added to that life and you can't let this one aspect dictate so much of your emotions and energy.

    Remember that just because you are very vocal via text doesn't mean she is going to be. You are two different people and probably have two different communication styles. Some people don't like to use text as the main way to hold conversations. Think about it this way - if she lived the next town over and you sent her a long text and she replied with a short one, would you worry? Probably not. Just because your physical distance is farther doesn't change her communication style, her feelings for you or her dedication to the relationship. I sincerely believe that distance equates to overthinking with a lot of people. You have to take her at her word and learn to control your irrational thoughts. I mean, you've known her for a long time and she's still the same person.

    Take a step back, breathe and let things flow naturally. Continue to live your individual life and incorporate this relationship as a part of that. Don't let the relationship, the distance and the missing your SO overtake your life.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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      #3
      Thank you for taking the time to reply and share some advice with me i will take your advice . I will try not to let my emotions control me its all very new to me thus why i came here for help

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