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He only wants to text..

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    #1

    He only wants to text..

    He doesn't want to talk on Skype, we can't talk on phone because we live in different countries and we text via Kik.
    He never sends pictures because it's too dangerous where he lives. But when I asked to see his dogs he didn't even think twice before sending them..
    I mentioned Skype and he got excited, but when I didn't plan everything out he forgot it and doesn't bring it up unless I do.
    On weekends when he has time, I don't get good morning texts and he goes to sleep early.
    When it was my birthday I only got a short message "happy birthday". When it was his birthday I send him a video. I feel like we are doing everything on the same way everyday and that I'm doing all the work to keep things alive..
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    #2
    I'm seeing a lot of red flags here. He won't talk on the phone - where does he live? Skype costs nothing to use. Someone who doesn't want to send pictures, conveniently forgets to Skype, doesn't send you any videos... I would be wary if I were you. It's highly plausible you're being catfished...

    And having been in a relationship previously where I was the one who fought so hard and did everything I could to keep the relationship, believe me when I say it takes two to tango. You wouldn't ballroom dance by yourself... you need a partner to really make it spectacular. And relationships are no different. They are two-way streets... not one way systems. If I were you... I wouldn't continue with this "relationship." I honestly think you're being misled. Get yourself out of it before you get utterly burned out and ultimately hurt.
    Last edited by Honour; July 24, 2017, 05:38 AM.

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      #3
      When things are good, they are really good. I know I'm not being catfished. I've seen pictures of him and I've done my google search and he is who he says he is. He has send pictures of himself but only after a lot of asking and begging.
      And the reason why sending pictures is dangerous is that he lives in a area where there are a lot of crimes. And they might search his locations by his pictures. Which I find a little weird excuse because he's not a criminal and no one has reason to go after him

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        #4
        Originally posted by Nmp View Post
        When things are good, they are really good. I know I'm not being catfished. I've seen pictures of him and I've done my google search and he is who he says he is. He has send pictures of himself but only after a lot of asking and begging.
        And the reason why sending pictures is dangerous is that he lives in a area where there are a lot of crimes. And they might search his locations by his pictures. Which I find a little weird excuse because he's not a criminal and no one has reason to go after him
        How do you know he's not a criminal?
        Also, what came up during the Google search, something reliable or something like social media accounts?

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          #5
          Originally posted by Nmp View Post
          When things are good, they are really good. I know I'm not being catfished. I've seen pictures of him and I've done my google search and he is who he says he is. He has send pictures of himself but only after a lot of asking and begging.
          And the reason why sending pictures is dangerous is that he lives in a area where there are a lot of crimes. And they might search his locations by his pictures. Which I find a little weird excuse because he's not a criminal and no one has reason to go after him
          But anyone can send you pictures of what they want you to see. It doesn't mean they are who they are. The only way to verify that is to have a voice and video chat. And yes, maybe you did find social media profiles or links to things. But what were they? How reliable were they really?

          And.... what? Where does he come from that it's so dangerous? Surely if it was THAT dangerous, he wouldn't have any contact with someone that lived somewhere else in the world. Don't you find it in the least bit strange? They don't want to be found... yet they're in an LDR with you? Just food for thought, and things to consider. It sounds way too dodgy to me. Because photos can be traced, yet so can sent messages. Especially if the platforms used to send the messages aren't encrypted.

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            #6
            I have his address, I know where he lives and I know his family. He lives in South Africa and we have sent letters to each other

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              #7
              He doesn't want to be found and yet he sends his address unencripted by any social media? Really, that sounds strange. And if it's so dangerous for him to send photo's, why should he be active on social media, that shows his photo (or so I assume?). I agree with Honour: red flags everywhere.
              Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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                #8
                He doesn't have any social medias, he says it's too dangerous. Only thing I found was his email address

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                  #9
                  So it's too dangerous to do any social media, yet he sends his address unencripted, and he says he's not a criminal? What is he then? A cop, undercover in the maffia, or so? I don't get it. Seems like a strange story to me.
                  Just a question and not to be mean, but just to help you out: do you know anything about him?
                  And how can you know for sure by just an email address he is who he says he is? Anyone can make an email address on any name, especially if it's gmail or something like that.
                  You should really, really reconsider and think straight. I'm sorry, for now I don't buy it yet, but I hope for you it's all true what he says. But I don't believe it, actually.
                  Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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                    #10
                    I know him, I've seen a pictures of him. He has send me pictures in the last six months. I know it's him. He isn't a fuckboy. He doesn't photoshop his pictures. I know who he is.
                    I know I'm not being a catfished, that has happened before and I know how it goes and this is not it.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Nmp View Post
                      When things are good, they are really good.
                      I have heard so many people in bad relationships say this exact phrase. The good times don't erase the bad. You have indicated that you're unsatisfied with your relationship and that it hasn't improved. Have you brought up these points with your SO? If you have, and he isn't willing to work with you to fix them or isn't following through with fixing them, then it's time to consider letting go. You have suspicions-- don't let them go unaddressed. You deserve honesty. You deserve a fulfilling relationship. You deserve a partner you can rely on.
                      Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
                      Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
                      Engaged: 09/26/2020

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                        #12
                        I'm not always happy but that's because right now he has so busy schedule. He's working and doing university project at the same time

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Nmp View Post
                          I'm not always happy but that's because right now he has so busy schedule. He's working and doing university project at the same time
                          Hate to break it, but you sound 1) like you're making excuses to why you're unsatisfied with the relationship, and 2) this still sounds dodgy as hell.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Nmp View Post
                            I've seen pictures of him and I've done my google search and he is who he says he is. He has send pictures of himself but only after a lot of asking and begging.
                            And the reason why sending pictures is dangerous is that he lives in a area where there are a lot of crimes. And they might search his locations by his pictures. Which I find a little weird excuse because he's not a criminal and no one has reason to go after him
                            I agree with C.C, Honour and Ervwn. Weird excuses. Also.. Who are "they" ?

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Honour View Post
                              Hate to break it, but you sound 1) like you're making excuses to why you're unsatisfied with the relationship, and 2) this still sounds dodgy as hell.
                              Agree-- you keep making excuses for his bad behavior despite knowing that it's a problem. Every time someone points out something, you jump to his defense, even though you've stated that you feel it's wrong. Stop doing that to yourself. I did this while my SO was cheating on me, lying to me and manipulating me into staying with him. I thought he would change. I thought maybe I was just being too sensitive or too nosy or paranoid. I wasn't. It's easy to get sucked into a web of lies curated by someone you think you trust. Please, go with your instincts and demand clarity.

                              I know it sucks to throw something you've put so much work into away, but it's not healthy. You can't justify him into becoming the person you want him to be.
                              Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
                              Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
                              Engaged: 09/26/2020

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