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I'm new to this. Missing them, disappointments and busyness

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    #1

    I'm new to this. Missing them, disappointments and busyness

    Hey.

    I am new to this.

    I met special someone a few months ago and it's been like our souls are connected which is something I would have laughed at prior to this. I love her so much and she loves me and it's the most amazing feeling. *avoids gushing*

    We are both in vital parts of our careers that require us to be where we are for the next 2 years at least. After that who knows. We are planning visits (although it's killing me that nothing is set in stone yet).

    Some days I miss her so inordinately much I can't help but get overwhelmed with it. I'm starting a new job in Sept but she's starting one this week and because of that + timezones it's gonna be really hard for us to find time to talk now. Preemptively I'm missing her.

    Also I sent her a package full of my heart (figurative) recently and she got it redelivered and the post office lost it. This has made me really sad and angry to an unreasonable amount.

    I love her, she's the last person on earth I would ever let go of. She makes me want to be better and helps me achieve my goals. We are committed to work through all the hard stuff but sometimes...


    How do I deal when I miss her with all my soul and feel it aching? How do we cope with being busy (we might write weekly letters)? and how do I deal when disappointments like this come along?

    Also am I pushing too much to see her over christmas? She's worried I'll be disappointed and not see her much but I can occupy myself when she's busy and spending an hour in her presence makes my soul soar.
    Tags: busy, disappointment, missing, visit
    #2
    The simple answer is that certain things are going to feel more fulfilling than others. When I say fulfilling, I mean the kind of stuff that makes you feel connected to her despite the distance. Keeping yourself engaged in her life consistently is a great idea, if you can find a way that doesn't feel invasive or obtrusive. Simply being a constant background presence for her, no matter where she is or what she is doing will go a long way towards making things easier. And when she feels like that then you feel perfectly at ease being thousands of miles away. Even though you don't talk face-to-face all the time.

    This can be a fun little game, if you so decide. Find out what feels good by trying out all sorts of different things, even if some of them feel silly or strange at first. When you do find the right things then simply start doing them. It's no more complicated that that. Of course, in order to do all of this you also need a relatioship that feels safe and secure. If that is not the case for the two of you the I would suggest googling "relationship trust building exercises". Read a few blog posts and pick half a dozen exercises that you feel most comfortable with. Then start doing them on a regular basis. No excuses!
    I take her with me everywhere I go, every day of my life.

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Theurgist View Post
      The simple answer is that certain things are going to feel more fulfilling than others. When I say fulfilling, I mean the kind of stuff that makes you feel connected to her despite the distance. Keeping yourself engaged in her life consistently is a great idea, if you can find a way that doesn't feel invasive or obtrusive. Simply being a constant background presence for her, no matter where she is or what she is doing will go a long way towards making things easier. And when she feels like that then you feel perfectly at ease being thousands of miles away. Even though you don't talk face-to-face all the time.

      This can be a fun little game, if you so decide. Find out what feels good by trying out all sorts of different things, even if some of them feel silly or strange at first. When you do find the right things then simply start doing them. It's no more complicated that that. Of course, in order to do all of this you also need a relatioship that feels safe and secure. If that is not the case for the two of you the I would suggest googling "relationship trust building exercises". Read a few blog posts and pick half a dozen exercises that you feel most comfortable with. Then start doing them on a regular basis. No excuses!
      This sounds great. We are actually very secure in the relationship which is GREAT ^-^

      What kind of thing can keep me engaged in her life consistently? I think we are pretty open to trying things. I'll take a look at some blogs anyway. Thank you for your advice

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by Hails View Post
        What kind of thing can keep me engaged in her life consistently?
        Pictures, asking how her day went and small talk in general, doing things on Skype together if you get the time like making dinner and having movie dates, etc...

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by Hails View Post
          What kind of thing can keep me engaged in her life consistently?
          I write erotic fantasy for my SO, which makes her run hot for hours or days on end as we build up the sexual tension between us. I also create different kinds of videos for her. I'm teaching her something that she has no prior experience in: the basics of occultism based on my primary interest, which is the theory of natural law. Then there are different kinds of pictures that we send to each other. We share poetry with each other. I don't always have the energy to write something totally original to her, but there are plenty of great poems on the Internet. I just pick a good one and customize it for my SO. Almost every afternoon I send a good morning message her when she wakes up (afternoon for me), and she says goodnight to me when it's about time I go to sleep (afternoon for her). I don't have a physical keepsake of her, but I have already chosen a symbol that represents me, which she can wear as a pendant. I have also chosen a name for her that only I use. I share my deepest, darkest secrets with her. I share my sexuality and emotions with her openly and freely. Those are just a few of the things that I do with her right now, and there are a lot of other things that I have planned for the future.

          The most important thing about all of this that I fill her up with her primary love language, which is words of affirmation. It just so happens that that's also my primary love language...so it all seems to work out really well.
          I take her with me everywhere I go, every day of my life.

          Comment

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