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    Confusion about if it's time to break up

    I have been talking to my SO for almost a year. I live in the US and he is in Scotland. I am in my 30's and he in is in his 20's. we see each other every 3-4 mo.
    I returned from visiting about 2 weeks ago and am having a hard time figuring out what is going on between us. We had a great vacation minus a couple of arguments. We had great sex when we had it, but stayed on a yacht for three nights and didn't at all. We just didn't as much as we thought we would and I'm not exactly sure what is going on there.
    He told me the other day he didn't want to talk on FaceTime and that it's just getting old and boring and why don't we do things sexually like we used to. he said he misses hanging out with other girls and their company in general. I agree. It feels lonely, but when I left we decided to continue our long distance relationship for another year until he was finished with school and then he would move to the states. As we continued this conversation I said I wanted to be there with him and he said that would make his world if that were a possibility for the year. I started looking into it. I was serious! I want to try! He is close to his parents and thought maybe we should start with them about our idea. He could help with some visa research while I worked on my business and selling my house(which I am doing anyway). Nothing has actually happened though. He doesn't seem to be bringing it up or super excited anymore about making I happen. He has been distant and down since I came home and I asked if he is talking to anyone else. He said no, but but that for the last week he as been watching the same girl live on porn when she's online. He told me her name, but said he's not a member or anything and they have no communication. He could tell it hurt me and decided he shouldn't have told me and that none of his friends would tell their girls. It does suck!! I was gonna try to be better about sexy pics and trying to catch up with why that had stopped, but now I feel so insecure and I keep checking to see her online (haven't seen her yet, this was last evening). It's making me physically sick. I don't want to be insecure, but this makes me feel awful. I want that time back with him.
    Do we just need a break? He is supposed to come here in November and then the talk of me moving there, but I am feeling like I am the only one that wants to move forward with it. He says he loves me and wants me there, but what about when he wanted a break? Having a hard time with feeling like I'm in deeper and he seems only concerned with himself. I wanna feel good and loved again. I miss talking it all out so that both of us always felt good when we got off the phone. Now I feel like I could never be enough and I hate that. I know part of this is that he is young. He is an only child as well. I just can't make all this happen without him and I don't want to push if it's not the right thing. Feeling the all or nothing very heavy on us. I'm scared and can't stop thinking about us all the time. I can't sleep right and have physically gotten sick. I'm gonna try to talk to his mom soon. She knows us together. I have to figure something out and don't want to be a downer/complainer when we do talk.

    #2
    Have you guys talked about watching porn and agreed there's no boundaries? If yes, and you're still uncomfortable with it, then maybe it's time to reevaluate boundaries. If no, him actively pursuing gratification outside of the relationship seemeth to me a sign that he's not fully committed to monogamy. He is younger, and maybe not ready to give up physicality for an LDR. Not everyone can handle an LDR--different strokes for different folks.
    Whether or not it's time to break up--that's your decision. You know your relationship better than anyone else. Are you happy? If you're not happy at the moment, do you foresee yourself being happy again in the near future?
    I wish you happiness, whatever your decision.
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