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Boyfriend giving me the cold shoulder...

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    Boyfriend giving me the cold shoulder...

    Heya. I'm new here and could use some company from others in LDRs. I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and it's nothing new but when I upset him real bad he ignores me completely. I can tell he's not particularly busy (playing games on Steam, tweeting) but I send messages and get nothin back. I know he needs his space and I'm willing to give it to him, it hurts but there's nothing else I can do, apologies mean nothing to him, which is understandable since we have some issues about me making similar mistakes repeatedly (it's always something I'm not in control of, like accidentally falling asleep on him or not responding to his message for a while because I never got a notification, but he's highly sensitive and I would never hold it against him). I'm not looking for advice, I know I can only wait until he feels better, I just feel so alone and could use a little support. Any good jokes? Exciting stories about your own relationship or your lives in general? Give me some happy, please

    #2
    Being "sensitive" is no excuse for being inconsiderate and controlling. You are not a slave at his beck and calling; if you are busy and need to sleep, you are busy and need to sleep. Set boundaries for his abusive behavior. He needs to grow the heck up. Stonewalling is never okay.
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      #3
      Looks like he is playing some nasty mindgames, like emotional abuse. I agree with @autumn1790. Set your boundaries and let him know them. It needs two to work on a relationship, not just you.
      Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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        #4
        Mindgames and emotional abuse.
        I was about to say it too !
        Its actualy very common in LDR. And it happen, sorry to say it, because the partner (you in this case) let it slide.
        Be firm, set boundaries, tell him clearly that his behavior is unnaceptable.
        You are a human being with your own life and mind.. NOBODY is allowed to play with your feelings/sentiments.
        Be clear with him. If he dont accept it, break up and find a real mature partner.

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          #5
          It really is inconsiderate of him, but though I can't and won't blame myself for his reaction, I feel responsible since it's happened before and it isn't fair of me to just fall asleep when we're in the middle of a conversation. I know I need to improve my sleeping habits, and I know I can set boundaries if I fix these mistakes I've been making. I'm not trying to victimize myself or be down on myself, but I've talked to him about how it makes me feel when he stonewalls me, but some things can't be changed and I'd prefer if he took some time to himself than for us to fight. If being alone is the only way he knows to clear his head, it's only fair, we do talk basically every day, haha. I know it may not seem healthy but when things are good they're really good, they're only like this because I've made dumb mistakes repeatedly. Thank you all for your insight, I refuse to let him break me, but at the same time I don't want to give this up without fighting.
          Last edited by jaybird; January 16, 2018, 04:36 PM.

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