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Finally We're a Success Story :)

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    Finally We're a Success Story :)

    My LDR is officially a success story! We made it through three years of LDR and finally closed the distance. We are proof that you can do anything as long as you both want to. That has been our motto.

    We met, hilariously, 3 times before remembering each other about 5 years ago. We were both dating other people (other people who happened to be brother and sister to each other, ironically). As he was 3 years older than me, we didn't hang out very much until 2 years later when I was a freshman and he was a senior. We were both single by then, but he had a girl friend who was ga-ga over him and for a while, actually, I was trying to help her get with him! He felt like she was a sister, but she didn't get the hint and he was too nice to put her down. Once he and I talking about it, I stopped trying to help her get with him and more to get over him... it was ineffective.

    A little while later, I got so sick I had to stop going to school for two months. He became my math tutor, and yes, he actually helped my grade. That spring break, both of our families went to Disney World in Orlando. Most of my group was younger kids so I ended up hanging out with his group for most of the time. He and I held hands so as not to get separated by the crowds... and then, we kept holding hands even when they were no crowds. I ended up staying at his family's condo once night and we stayed up talking... things progressed... and before the night was over, we were making out.

    We returned from Disney sort of in limbo. I asked him what he thought was going on, we talked it out, and concluded that we were together, but keeping the relationship private because his parents would (and later did) flip out and many people would (and later did) look at us differently. I told my parents, but to everyone else, we were merely good friends. For the rest of the school year and the summer, things went on like this.

    But in the summer things started to get a little odd.

    He wouldn't hang out with me as much, wouldn't invite me to go with him, even with friends that had -at this point- been let in on our relationship. the time came for him to get ready to leave for college and I asked him what he wanted to do. He had tried a sort of LDR before and things went south, so he was hesitant to try again, but we agreed that we could do anything as long as we both wanted to. So we decided to continue LD.

    Just before he left, I learned the reason he had become so distant was not because he was worried about going LD, but because he began smoking pot. To clarify, I do not hate stoners, I just don't want to date one. Also, it is hazardous to my health. But at this point, I was more upset that he had been lying to me for over a month. We went LD on August 16, 2009 with things on slightly rocky terms. Over Labor Day, he smoked, got really sick, and gave up on the whole thing saying even the smell made him nauseated after that night. I was relieved because I really didn't want to throw up an ultimatum and I wasn't sure if I could live with him smoking.

    Around this time, things at home got really bad for me. I sank into a depression and my SO was not doing so well at college which was making him upset and homesick and he was powerless to help me. He, to this day, has trouble handling me when I'm down. During this time, my dad did a 180 and he informed my SO's parents of our relationship and caused a lot of drama besides. Also during this time my SO's friend that was crushing on him found out about us and more drama ensued. Sadly, it got so bad that by Thanksgiving, I was suicidal, and over Christmas Break things went down hill... rather quickly. I shant go into detail, but afterwards he came to me and while I thought we were working things out, he was getting up the guts to break up with me. Which he eventually did, for about 10 minutes. He had done some bad things while I was in a bad situation removed from him and he felt guilty about that and my parents had convinced themselves, him and me that the whole thing was his fault, etc etc etc. It was bad. I told him that he had better be sure because he wasn't going to get a second chance because my heart couldn't take it. We decided to try to move on together.

    For several months, things were rocky, but slowly getting better. He came back for the summer and we had an amazing time! The next spring, however, he was doing poorly in school and had to come back home for a semester at the local college. It was sad, but at the same time so wonderful because I had him to myself for a semester!! His parents complicated things, as they were unhappy about us dating. His mother actually tried to hook him up with other girls. Nevertheless, we had a great spring and summer and in August, he left again, this time to his brother's university. At this point, things will likely become familiar to some of you as at this point I began becoming more active here. Also note, this begins my senior year.

    I went to see him for his birthday and we had a blast... except that it came out that he had been lying to me about smoking again. His brother and roommate smoked, so he partook. Unfortunately, I had to remind him that this was a deal breaker for me, something he had failed to comprehend earlier. He agreed to stop, again, and we moved on. The next months, I am swamped with schoolwork and confirming my place in university. I chose to attend the same university as him, but not entirely because of him, which some people fail to understand.

    I visited again over spring break, and it was wonderful. Living with stoners for that long was bad for my health, but I made it through, and that was the only downside. We celebrated our third anniversary the day before I left, and for the rest of the school year I was preparing for exams and graduation.
    With all the stress of school, graduation, getting a job, my family... the distance began to get to me. Not in the sense that I missed him more so much it hurt, that was normal, but in the sense that I didn't... the entire summer, we didn't see each other except for my orientation with the university, and it strangely bothered me very little.
    Oddly enough, it was a fight that brought me out of my state of complacency... a fight over something very small, in fact. But it was enough that I was shocked out of my state and things have been totally normal (meaning we've been ga-ga over each other) ever since.

    I officially CLOSED THE DISTANCE on August 22, 2012!! I am now living in a dorm on campus while he lives in a house off campus and we see each other quite frequently. It is too wonderful for words, being here with him... even if we aren't together, knowing that he is only a short jaunt away anytime I need him in unspeakably comforting. He is taking this semester off to work and get his life together, and I am proud of him for making that hard decision, while I start my first year of college. We've only been together a week, but I can already promise all of you that it is worth it.

    We are a story of success. We defied the odds, the statistics, the distance. It wasn't easy, in fact at some points it was hell. More than once, we contemplated just ending things. But here we are, three years later, together in love with no more distance between us. Even if things don't work out for us in the long run, we are now proof that distance can be overcome, and even kindles the great!! There are no words for my happiness now

    To all others still fighting the odds, I salute you and urge you to remember that you can do ANYTHING as long as you both want to. So find your light at the end of the tunnel and keep wanting to make it work... and it will. Good luck!



    #2
    Reading your success story is very inspiring to me! Me and my SO have been together for 5 months but met 15 1/2 years ago in college. She has decided to close the distance and move here within the next 9 months. It seems SO long away but I know we can make it if you guys did for 3 years! Thank you for sharing your story!!

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      #3
      It's good to see how after all the hardships you guys had that you stuck side by side and saw it to the end I'm so happy for you both. I have a feeling when it comes for my other half and I closing the distance, it will be very similar to this in terms of parent problems lol.

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