Who visits more when you can see each other in person?

[Ahava]

Aww my boyfriend has a fear of flying too. It's made worse by his other anxieties as he was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD which make his anxieties worse. One day he will visit Canada.

Until then though I've done all the flying. I really like flying now, and now I'm hoping that before he would come here I'd have my own place somewhere or we'd have enough money to rent a hotel somewhere so that we could have our own place. I think he is also more scared than me to try new things so while I am excited to try all the UK foods and brands and things, he will have more hesitation for trying the foods here. But by the time he does fly here, that is one HUGE thing for him and I'm sure trying new foods won't be so bad for him if he can do that.

Otherwise I think our relationship is relatively equal. I think generally I might have spent more on gifts for him but he has more bills that he has to pay. But as we have been together longer, it's sort of evened out, and also we talk all the time about things so I don't feel at any way unequal. We just take turns on who buys who things and maybe (if we counted) it might be unequal at any given time, but not really seeing as when we buy each other things we are investing in our future as we want to get married one day and live together.

Awhile ago I sort of made a decision that whenever I gave someone something, I wouldn't expect it back, even if they asked it back. I don't want to hold something over someone's head especially if they can't pay it back. And with my boyfriend it's even easier to feel balanced because we are a couple so I do things for him and he does things for me. I like flying and traveling now and I realize that it does make him extremely nervous even if I fly.. and I can imagine how nervous I will be when he flies, especially if I'm not with him, and especially if he takes a longer route to make him feel better. Although, if they get free wifi on more international flights by that time, he might feel better about flying although it would still be scary but then at least he'd have some access to the outside world if he gets nervous.

What about if you two flew together somewhere closer to the UK? I mean if you travelled there for a longer period of time and then you could go on holiday (cheap flights) some where? In that way him travelling to Canada wouldn't feel such a big step.

[squeeker]

What about if you two flew together somewhere closer to the UK? I mean if you travelled there for a longer period of time and then you could go on holiday (cheap flights) some where? In that way him travelling to Canada wouldn't feel such a big step.

Thank you for the tip, Ahava. I will have to bring it up.. that might work to help get his confidence up with flying in general if he went on more smaller flights, and it would be nice to travel with him somewhere close to the UK.

[snow_girl]

He comes to me always. I went to see him once but he lives in a shitty little town so I told him he has to come to me now.

[Moon]

Me. I do almost all of the traveling, and while I'm a much better traveler than he is, it's getting annoying.

I like to travel, and to fly, it's nothing to me to grab my passport and go; travel doesn't stress me out, I look at it as an adventure, and I love visiting other places. That said, it's starting to feel very unequal. I've been to Finland 8 times, he's been here twice and once was for work. I get that he's not a traveler and he hates leaving Finland, but c'mon already. We pay our own travel expenses, and yeah, he pays for everything when I'm there, but plane tickets to Finland, especially in Summer are horribly expensive.

Also, I have a Dalmatian who turns 15 next month, I kind of worry about leaving her for a few weeks. Yes, we've talked about it, yes, he knows how I feel, yet it'll probably be on me to do the next trip, as usual. I never minded much until recently, but I'm starting to mind now. A lot.

[Cristiana]

Untill now and untill October when I'll become 18, him.
Im still at school and he has a job, plus I cant travel alone untill Im 18 (which I'll be soon oh God finally). But I'd really really love to go there on my own, as a challenge for myself and because I really like to travel. In fact we talked about it, I'd want to go visit him for Christmas holidays but we came to the conclusion that from the next year I'll be the one to move too, I really wish it'll happen for his birthday on spring.

[conejita_hada]

I have always visited him - because of visa and finance issues like some other posters mentioned. I know that if it was a more realistic possibility, he would visit me and my home in a heart beat. Other than outside factors inhibiting the ability to be even on the visitation front, we're pretty even in other aspects of the relationship. He usually pays for my daily expenses while visiting. Although, I'm the planner - even for activities while I'm there. He'll pay for something but personality-wise, I'm more focused on details and he's big picture/go-with-the-flow. haha

[abna1]

I do all the travelling, because of visa issues too. We're not giving up though. We'll start over again and he'll hopefully be able to come here at the beginning of next year.

[lovefrom2800milesaway]

We both travel to see each other the same amount. However, we don't get to see each other very frequently. It's usually me who has to remind him to book flights and take time off work, etc.. but at the end of the day, we both travel just as much to see each other!

[Alexandra]

We try to keep it even and take turns to travel to see each other. Most of the visits are around 2-3 weeks but the last visit was him coming to California and that was a 4 month stay. Not sure if I would be able to stay that long because of school but I was surprised that he agree to stay for so long to be with me lol Hopefully I would be able to see him this Christmas~

[Neia0202]

So far we've been taking turns, I went twice and today he arrives for his second time here. But he did pay 3 out of 4 visits, because he has a job and I'm still in highschool.