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    I'm at a loss for life

    I'm sorry but this is gonna be a bit of a rant, I don't know how I'm feeling at the moment.

    For the past time I've gotten to know this girl. She lived in the opposite end of the world, literally and we got a long extremely well. More so than anyone I've previously met. I'm certain some of you will be able to identify when I say that we felt a mutual connection to eachother. We talked more and more as time passed by and we were always completely open to eachother about everything. It was something incredibly special to me and we understood eachother and were similar to eachother in so many, many ways. She told me she felt the same way.

    As I said we were completely open to eachother and could talk about how we felt and everything from good to bad without fearing the others reaction. She was terrified to tell me, because she was scared of my reaction, that she had bipolar disorder and had been hospitalized due to psychosis in the past. She told me she was on medication now. We talked last night for hours, I was up to almost 5am. She told me I should get some sleep and that she was gonna go and study some and then later on in the evening smoke some weed. The latter she had told me previously sometimes bypassed the medication in some way.

    When I woke up I had a message saying "I miss you too" and then I realized that she had blocked me everywhere. She had told me before that she had previously considered that perhaps that would be the best way to go since she didn't want to drag me into her world of problems and she was scared things were going too deep, too soon. But she had also told me that I was worth taking the risk. Also we live wih a ten hour time difference.
    I am at a complete loss for words and life at the moment. I fall asleep with a smile, wake up to see this and I feel completely powerless and don't know what to do. I have a feeling it's the weed mixed with the bipolar disorder that has led her into the thought of sealing the gate. I just don't know how to handle it.

    #2
    If she doesn't want to speak to you anymore, there's nothing you can do but accept it. Maybe send her one last e-mail (possibly from another account, if yours is marked as spam) and then let her be.


    Take some time off from dating, especially online dating. You seem to be getting invested really fast and that is a lot easier over the internet, because you can project so much onto that other person. It's easy, yes, but it seems to not be very healthy for you.

    Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Dziubka View Post
      If she doesn't want to speak to you anymore, there's nothing you can do but accept it. Maybe send her one last e-mail (possibly from another account, if yours is marked as spam) and then let her be.


      Take some time off from dating, especially online dating. You seem to be getting invested really fast and that is a lot easier over the internet, because you can project so much onto that other person. It's easy, yes, but it seems to not be very healthy for you.
      I'm aware that I'll have to accept it and ultimately I will. It just came as lightning from a clear blue sky. I can't help but wish I could talk to her about it but yeah. I don't have her e-mail. I only have her physical adress so I'm thinking sending her a letter. We were supposed to be trading chocolate and candy with eachother.

      I never intend to because none of the people I meet come from dating sites nor do I even try to find people to date or whatever. It's all accidental, so to speak.
      Though yeah, it sure has backfired a lot on me. She's not the first to want to suddenly stop talking to me so I'm certain there's something inherently wrong with what I do.

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        #4
        Unfortunately it happens that people have feelings but are unable to translate them into a functioning relationship. Also, if she cant handle being in a relationship in the sweet honeymoon phraze, she certainly is not up for the challenging aspects that might come in a long term serious relationship. Take some time to grief what was and could have been.

        Perhaps next time, don't give in to the wonderful feelings so fast, as it seems the girls you date get easily overwealmed and gets pushed beyond their comfort zone when you don't hold back. SO calls it "riding in a car with no brakes on", he gets scared if I don't ignore half of the impulsive sweet stuff he says, he needs me to be more grounded than him and I suspect the girls you have met have similar needs.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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          #5
          Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
          Perhaps next time, don't give in to the wonderful feelings so fast, as it seems the girls you date get easily overwealmed and gets pushed beyond their comfort zone when you don't hold back. SO calls it "riding in a car with no brakes on", he gets scared if I don't ignore half of the impulsive sweet stuff he says, he needs me to be more grounded than him and I suspect the girls you have met have similar needs.
          That's the thing. I didn't initiate talking about them. I had them, they grew but I was afraid of letting her know for exactly that reason. Then when she told me, I felt I could share mine as well. I was holding back, is basically my point. I didn't barge into this immediately telling her this and that and that and this. It came in bits, over time and almost always prefaced with her being the one saying things of that category and nature first.
          You are probably right in that the girls I meet probably have similar needs to your SO, though.

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