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    #1

    She's too difficult to buy for! pleaaase help

    So – 26 year old med student, female, financially well off yeah she’s a bit of a princess, she’s in the US I’m in the UK

    She doesn’t do romance, isn’t mushy. Last year when she was studying for her finals I had a fruit edible arrangements delivery sent to her apartment because she loves fruit and although she liked it I never got a picture of it or anything which is was annoying because I feel I was more excited to send it then she was to receive it.

    On her birthday I had cookies delivered in the shape of teddy bear doctors and nurses - https://www.cookiesbydesign.com/cook...e-boutray-B264
    Again not really all that excited, I think for some reason she feels badly because she doesn’t send me anything

    The last thing I have sent to her was a book trilogy set that is my fav and actually she’s got a bunch of interviews for her residency and she’s been talking about these books in her interviews as they are very interesting and definitely different.

    Oh I’ve also sent her a Pandora charm bracelet and on one of my trips there we added to it.

    So now V day! What the heck do I do?! Lol I feel like I don’t need to send something of mine because I was there last week and probably have left a bunch of my stuff there anyway, also I don’t think she appreciates it in the same way as some, I left a perfume there from my first trip and I only took it home with me last week. In between I’ve visited and didn’t take it so she had it for 4 months and don’t think she looked at it once.

    I'm so stuck! Please ask anything or give any advice, I'm open ears (or eyes?!) x
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    #2
    I would not worry about cost but thought more. If she doesn't care about gifts then save some money for your visits and buy her some chocolates or flowers and put the rest into a kitty for more visits. This or ASK HER what she really wants so you know she will like it. Do you have a visit coming up? You could buy her tickets to a show for?
    "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
    Benjamin Franklin

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      #3
      If she doesn't do romance and doesn't like cheesy things, you might just have to get her something she needs or has expressed that she wants.

      Relationship began: 05/22/2012
      First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
      Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
      Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
      Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
      Married: 1/24/2015
      Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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        #4
        Originally posted by snow View Post
        If she doesn't do romance and doesn't like cheesy things, you might just have to get her something she needs or has expressed that she wants.
        that's the problem, she literally can and does buy anything she needs or wants. I'm racking my brain trying to remember if there's anything around the apartment that she needed or needed replacing.

        so far I've found one thing/two things online that could be okay. One's a Michael Kors blouse that looks nice to me but where she's really tall its hard to know what would fit right. The second is a designer card holder to replace her existing one as it looks a little old.

        sound ok ?

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          #5
          Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
          I would not worry about cost but thought more. If she doesn't care about gifts then save some money for your visits and buy her some chocolates or flowers and put the rest into a kitty for more visits. This or ASK HER what she really wants so you know she will like it. Do you have a visit coming up? You could buy her tickets to a show for?

          unfortunately choc and flowers are the worst idea with her. Jeez why is she so difficult!

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by S41r4 View Post
            that's the problem, she literally can and does buy anything she needs or wants. I'm racking my brain trying to remember if there's anything around the apartment that she needed or needed replacing.

            so far I've found one thing/two things online that could be okay. One's a Michael Kors blouse that looks nice to me but where she's really tall its hard to know what would fit right. The second is a designer card holder to replace her existing one as it looks a little old.

            sound ok ?
            Clothes can be sticky. You could suggest she make a "wish list" for you on amazon. I did that for my SO and he loved it. When I had a reason or occasional to get him something, I knew what he wanted. He is quite picky.
            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
            Benjamin Franklin

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
              Clothes can be sticky. You could suggest she make a "wish list" for you on amazon. I did that for my SO and he loved it. When I had a reason or occasional to get him something, I knew what he wanted. He is quite picky.
              If i asked for a wish list she'd say no because 1) she couldn't be bothered to do it 2) she'd tell me not to buy her anything

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                #8
                Presents have a different value for different people. If your SO isn't into material presents, then maybe sending her print outs of photos of you two together (maybe a photo book from a visit or a cup or pillow case with your photo) and a heartfelt letter is enough.

                ♥ Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty. ♥

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by S41r4 View Post
                  If i asked for a wish list she'd say no because 1) she couldn't be bothered to do it 2) she'd tell me not to buy her anything
                  If my SO said that, I would not buy him anything. You are doing it for you, not her. So why are you doing it? She might not even like you doing it. Do something sentimental like a Youtube playlist of her favorite songs or some thing along those lines. If she does not want a gift, and you spend money, you are just wasting your money. I have a problem with "she can't be bothered" , if she cares about you and it is important to you, she should be able to take 15 min to do it. It should be give and take, is she getting you a gift?
                  "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                  Benjamin Franklin

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Don't buy anything. If she doesn't do romance, she might not be interested in Vday (I don't do romance and I don't care about it, I care about it cause SO does). If she doesn't appreciate your presents, then give up wanting to find a perfect present.
                    Last edited by Nymeria; January 21, 2015, 09:05 AM.
                    happiness can be found in the darkest of places, if only you remember to turn on the light

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                      #11
                      I kinda thought it was simple really. Your SO doesn't want anything for whatever reason, and if she "doesn't do romance" then she probably doesn't like Valentine's Day. I know some people who just don't celebrate it. If you really want to do something special for her though, I agree with Hollandia- you can make a youtube playlist or something that is free but still shows that you care.
                      "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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                        #12
                        I decided to just ask her what we're doing for it, and she said Are u asking me out on a date? basically very recently she has decided to make more of an effort to compromise and give me what I want. I don't know how much she is willing to do because its new I no longer know the new boundaries, for eg, yesterday I asked her to download the couples app because I heard of it and she totally did. Before it would have been "no we have iphones why do we need that?"

                        I told her I wanted to get her something for Vday and that I was checking first because I didn't wanna make her uncomfortable and she said I only can if she's allowed to get me something too. This is awesome

                        baby steps huh!

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                          #13
                          What is this couples app I keep seeing peeps on here posting about? Every time I look in the App Store I can't find it?

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Unicorn26 View Post
                            What is this couples app I keep seeing peeps on here posting about? Every time I look in the App Store I can't find it?
                            Try this: https://play.google.com/store/apps/d...t.juliet&hl=en


                            2016 Goal: Buy a house.
                            Progress: Complete!

                            2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
                            Progress: Working on it.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Oh thank you....

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