After Trip Sadness

[jenlee11]

Hey guys,
So my boyfriend was here for a little over a week and he had to leave yesterday, and my apartment is just reminding me of him. Cleaning up what I used to cook him breakfast, my couch since we spent so much time just relaxing on it, my bed, the soda he got thats still in my fridge, the little bit of liquor left in the bottle he wanted to get. Everything is reminding me of him and the fact he's not here. I don't even want to be in my own apartment because it's killing me that he's not here. I thought I was going to have a better night tonight but I walk in and just want to cry because it's so quiet. I know how pitiful it all sounds. We just finally got to make this work again, (TLDR; we were together in the past but weren't mature/old enough to make an LDR work) and I feel like no amount of time is enough. I didn't feel like this in the past. I don't know if it's different because we have 100% figured out what we are and that eachother is it, I don't know.
Any advice for coping with this? It's so different than the visits in the past. :\
Thanks, sorry if that was a little ranty.

[differentcountries]

The silence is very normal. Put on some music watch a movie, talk to SO on phone or Skype. It will get better.

[Ella85]

I've no experience of this in my current relationship since it was me that made that first trip. But I do know that feeling from past relationships. It'll get a little more easier to cope with as time goes on. This is exactly why I have promised myself I'm not going to leave without having a definite time period that we'll be apart. It makes parting easier if you know when your going to see eachother again. I just paid for the summer, I am saving for xmas and will talk to him about it when I have the money as will need to book the trip when I am with him because of flight prices. But believe me, I am a month back and stayed at his and I am finding it hard too. It makes me want to close that gap so much sooner.

[R&R]

I think that happens to all of us. When my SO came to visit, we were at my place, my parents house, in my car, where I grocery shop. He even came in to work to meet my co-workers, so I couldn't even escape it at work.

I came to finally realize I can take all these places and let them make me sad because I miss him or I can make them happy because now I finally have memories of us together in these places. I choose to go with letting it make me happy. In an LDR, your attitude and how you approach things will make a lot of difference.

[jenlee11]

Thanks for the responses. I wish I had a definite time but him being in the military makes it hard, he's never 100% sure when he'll get back, just a basic idea.
R&R - I'm trying to do that. We did everything you said you and your SO did too, he met my co workers so yesterday everyone was asking me about it and whatnot. Usually I was fine with the distance and accepted it but like I was saying this time it's different, it feels different. I guess I need to learn to cope with that new feeling. I'm happy to see I'm not alone or crazy with how I feel right now.

[AshleyMarieButler]

I finally found someone I can relate too! I haven't met my SO yet in person but we stay in touch over facebook, snapchat, skype, etc. Also we plan to see each other soon. My SO is actually an ex of mine whom I dated in 2011 for 3 months. We were too young and immature to keep the relationship going, and then a few years later were back in touch and even more in love than the childhood sweet hearts we used to be. I would say that the emotions you are feeling are living proof that you and your SO have grown a deeper connection and that's why it hurts so much. The best thing to do is try to plan to visit again. That way your mind will be set on seeing them. You could also Skype, or video chat with them, or hear their voice over the phone as well. These little things will definitely help, and will be something I have to do when my SO and I have to say our first goodbye..

[absi99]

I feel your pain! I've just come back from spending 10 days with my boyfriend in his home town. We normally see each other every 8 weeks...I know we are fairly lucky from reading some of the posts on here!! 10 days is the longest we have spent together and I have to say that coming back to work this week has been one of the hardest things. I'be been overcome with such feelings of emptiness and being at home on my own has left me feeling so down. I've made plans with friends this weekend so I have something to look forward to and I'm trying to keep busy with housework. And of course sharing how I feel with my boyfriend has really helped. This forum has helped me feelwas lonely too I hope you start to feel better soon.

[ghosts]

It's been a little over 70 days since my SO left. I was verrrry sad at first...and I still am, but it is less of a sob fest now. I find that every time we leave each other it's harder to say goodbye. Especially if you've fallen into routine of being together and living together. It's hard when you just get into the swing of things and then before you know it they're gone. We are trying to get the money needed to close the gap, but we know it'll be a while. One thing I know is that even though it's harder to say goodbye every time, we know how to be apart without falling apart. We still have fun. The time apart makes us realise how much we love each other and how ready we are to be together long term.