California/Argentina Ski instructors

[hackzawes]

Hello!

My name is Zack. I'm a 22 year old student/snowboard instructor/Beach lifeguard from Southern California. In the winters I teach snowboarding in Tahoe, and that is how I found my Girlfriend, Ailin. We were housemates for two months, and then, in a drunken stopper, something happened and somehow that evolved into a relationship where I can safely say I've never loved anybody more in my whole life. She is incredible. However, she is also from Argentina, and there is a little age gap as well (she's 28.) These things don't matter to me, but can prove a little burdensome at times.

For lack of a better word I am infatuated with her. I can see myself being with her for the rest of my life. We started our distance relationship this year in April, and it's been drudging along for the past 4 months. I have 11 weeks left as of today (August 11th) until I go to Argentina and see her! And I am excited as all hell to see her again.

The main things that have been bothering me is the amount of up's and down's in this relationship. It seems like some days we can't stop talking on WhatsApp or Skype, and others there is almost no communication at all. The inconsistencies on communication can be unnerving, and I always find myself wondering if she is still interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I feel more interested in her than she is with me at times, not all the time, but definitely at times. I try my best to make her feel secure and loved. I send her a love postcard every week.

It's difficult for me to deal with the inconsistencies, moods and jealousies within a relationship when you can be physically close with someone, but it's a completely different world when contact is sparse. Sometimes I find myself obsessing about her, and what she is thinking about our relationship. Sometimes we are completely content. Sometimes she is the nervous wreck. The peaks and valley's thing is difficult to get used to. It's not easy to be on the same page when you're thousands of miles away.

But she is completely different. She is much more relaxed and fluid about the situation, something I assume that comes with age and experience. She has definitely taught me a lot about myself and a lot about how successful relationships work. She has helped me grow spiritually, and I genuinely believe she makes me a better person. She doesn't express her longing for me as much as i do for her, which is fine, but it does make me nervous at time.

I love her, more than anything I have loved before. Honestly, more than I thought was even possible. I'm just trying to keep my chin up for the next 11 weeks and hoping that everything will work. It's heartache everyday for quite a bit of it. I'm wondering how people emotionally cope with these relationships. It's not easy to stay sane while embarking on this kind of an adventure.

So, on to my question, Peaks and valleys. Normal? And in an ldr do they tend to be more valleys and less peaks? Also, what is a good way to cope with feeling neglected? Even if it is something stupid like them not responding to a text for 8 hours? I also notice times when I feel the most upset are usually when my portion of the conversation is forgotten about. for example, I message her something about my day. 8 hours goes by, she says hello and barely mentions anything about the previous message? Most of my complaints i've noticed are fairly petty. I guess that comes with the territory...

Much love to everyone out there.
Any kind words are appreciated.

Zack.

[Gon-o-gon]

Heh, that's crazy I'm from El Bolson, closest town to Bariloche. Been dating my girl, from Sweden, for 4 years now and I can safely tell you that ups and downs are commonplace in this kind of relationship... It's crazy and sometimes it feels like the world is gonna end and you will constantly feel neglected. Right now she's so busy with college that we've barely spoken in the last week and a half, and there's been many times like this through the relationship, but things always end up okay as long as there's love behind it. I get exactly what you're feeling and it's exactly what I'm at right now so yeah... Half the time you think you're going to break up, half the time you're happy in love. That's the hell that is LDR, but in the end it's worth it.

If you have any questions about the area and such, just hit me up with a PM.

[Alyhere]

We've had plenty of ups and plenty of downs in the year and the few months we've been together. I guess it's pretty natural.
I always describe the long distance as something that can be a lot worse than being alone at times and yet a lot better than being close at other times. I like to visualise it to people like a graph, where you have a normal close distance relationship sit at 0 and then long distance constantly goes between -50 and +50. Its so easy to feel neglected, and yet you treasure each other a lot more when you're together. So I guess the emotional ups and downs aren't too unheard of in that situation

In my case, he's a lot more logical than I am, he misses me but it doesn't drive him crazy like it does me sometimes, and that in itself can make me so upset. I guess you just have to remember that even though its the same distance, you are still two different people and you will naturally react differently to it, so where you may feel the need for her to reply quickly, she might not see it as such a big deal.