New to LDR...what u do to keep it up

[Naddy7]

Hey everyone.. so now here I am... new to a LDR but...it's too good to let go. My bf lives in the USA. Eastcoast. I'm in Germany. We've been dating for half a year now and agreed on continuing after his job brought him back to the States. We love each other. It's tough tho, I won't deny. But he's wonderful. Loves my kids.. they love him. His family is gorgeous... and everybody knows about me. So.. i wanna surprise him as often as possible with little things that make him smile and make him see that I'm here always thinking of him. He's super busy now that he's back in the States but that's ok. My life isn't exactly slow either. So my question is..how are you all keeping the LDR up..what do u do to make it be something special always? What's your day looking like? Do u text/videocall a lot? Do u write letters? (I find that super romantic but I don't think he's into that)... do u send pictures... are there situations you'require fighting with each other? I'm just here to find people to talk about it...I just wanna hear if all the things I'm/we're going through is still normal.
Oh.. he's gone almost 4 weeks now. No idea when we will see each other again. Plan is spring ..or maybe earlier. Depends on a lot of things..

[yuunai]

Hi there!
I've been in a LDR for 7 months now and it's going strong We talk on skype every day pretty much, we are both students, me in university, him in private school. We usually talk on skype in the evening when school's over but during the day it's usually just chatting here and there when there's break (we use viber or there's this reeaally cute app called 'couple'. You can share a thumbkiss there as well, just place your thumbs on each others thumb print, it's really darn cute ).
Just try to call and video chat as much as possible. sometimes I send him hand written letters and he always loves it. I usually spray it with my perfume as well When we are talking we are either playing some video games or watching videos together. There's a really good site called togethertube on which you can watch videos together. LDR requires really good communication, so if something is on your mind, bothering you or you are sad or getting depressed because of the distance don't be afraid to tell him, nobody can comfort you as good as your SO Sending pictures is always a good idea, we use snapchat, it's funny We haven't really had any serious fights or arguments yet (cuz we can talk about anything <-- good communication). The distance will get really damn hard sometimes I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I have times usually in the evening when all I wish for is his arms to be around me or in the morning when I wake up alone but... it's all worth it cuz I'm sure I found the one

We got together 6 April, he visited me for the first time on 17 July and he stayed till 2 August. Then the next time we met it was me travelling to his place (up to Norway) in my autumn holidays for 10 days (Actually I came home just a little more than a week ago, 1 November, and I miss him so bad now T_T but it will get better ) So if you two visit each other I think you should make sure that it's at least for a week. As for me, only a weekend would be kinda depressing knowing that I have to leave in a day or two.

I hope I could be some help and gave good advice Stay strong! <3

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I highly recommend reading some of the posts on here. There are tons of good ideas to keep the relationship alive and tips for everyday things. "Normal" is all relative. There are some things that are pretty universal in long distance relationships, but it's really tough for us to judge if your relationship is going well. Only you can do that!

As far as my advice goes: it is extremely important to make your relationship a priority. Plan skype dates and write message to each other every day. It really really helps to feel like you're still a part of their life even if they are gone. The busier you are, the easier it will be, so it sounds like you're in a good starting point! Best of luck to you and please post if you have specific things that you are questioning.

[differentcountries]

I have been in an international LDR for more than 2 years. We text every day and Skype or call about every other day. I used to visit him a lot, but now I have a lot more expenses (upgrading my flat and all) and so I will see him less frequent in person. My day is usually like he texts me good morning, or start to ask around lunch time how I am. Around dinner time he asks how my day was. In the evening I might get cat pictures, or he will text me more or we will Skype. If we are busy or tired we will scedule to Skype the next day instead. In the past, I used to write him lots of letters, he wrote me a card once (a very small one, but it was in Norwegian, which I really liked). We send each other pictures a lot, of ourselves, our cat, nature or our friends and family....and even our food, haha!

We sometimes fight. Usually it has been because we are out of sync somehow. We don't have any big disagreements, but communication is not always easy. Plus he used to have an insane work scedule that put a lot of strain on our relationship, I am glad he does not work there anymore.

If you have the money, scedule a visit. Things are easier when you have a certain date to look forward too, even it that date is months away!

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Missed the fighting question: we very, very rarely fight. We've found that there isn't a whole hell of a lot to fight about. I can't be upset he didn't take out the trash, and he can't be upset that I spend too much time with my friends. For lack of better term, it's been pretty easy for us. Granted that ease is offset with the whole "long distance is hard and shitty" part. The only times we do fight it is because either A) we had some sort of misunderstanding and our feelings were hurt (...AKA my feelings were hurt because I took something he said wrong. whoops!) or B) there just isn't enough time in the day.

It's hard when we have stuff going on and can't talk very often. That's probably the source of most "arguments", but mostly it's just upset at the situation. Other than that, I think that communication really is key! You can't read facial expressions or other gestures very well online, so it's really really important to communicate when you're hurt or upset or questioning whether your SO is mad or not. 9 times out of 10, you misinterpret the situation due to a lack of those cues and talking about it right away saves a ton of trouble!

[Lycka]

I've been in LDR for soon two years and it haven't been easy. But it has worked and we find back to each other somehow. We've been talking to each other everyday at Kik and/or Skype. Of course there will be times when you speak lesser because of other plannings and work, but we always make sure to talk at least once a day, but often it's every moment we can find. As someone already said, it's important to communicate and tell how you feel, we've learned from our mistakes there. If I don't talk to him because of studies or anything else, I make sure to at least send photos of me, a smiling face At the evenings or night you will surley have time for saying goodnight which is one of the nicest moments.

[pizza_heart]

I recently closed the distance with my SO, and i think what really worked for us was constant texting, at any time. We'd share pictures of the most mundane things we'd be doing and sometimes schedule skype dates... they weren't so frequent cause his internet sucked but somehow we made it work.

[josieluvsuk]

Hello to all of you..I have been in my LDR for almost 3 years..Two things:: Skype and honesty have kept us going., and of course we have a strong bond, physically. However, I met an old woman in the Cafe that I work and she told me about her husband who was in the World war and stationed in Africa, and she had no contact with him for 3 years... none... 0... zilch.!!!!!.. but, they lived a long and happy life., It's all about commitment..Keep it real, love them like they were there with you.Put the time restrictions and financial issues aside when you can . It's got to be all about the Love,,
Believe me we had our fights and it's going to happen, don't let it go to your ego, gotta be unselfish, but not clingy...but, it's getting late so I'll respond some more later..Thanks for sharing 󾓦󾓪😘