Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Hellllp

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Hellllp

    So I have been in a LDR for nearly three years now. Over that time we have seen each other 5 times each for 2 to 3 weeks. He has been so amazing and everything I could ask for in a partner and I am moving overseas to be with him in a few months now.

    But last night I went out with some friends and met this guy who didn't know I had a boyfriend... He was so lovely but after a while I told him I had a boyfriend and asked if we could just be friends because he had gotten a bit handsy. But I found it REALLY hard to resist.

    It isn't that I love my boyfriend any less, he is amazing. I'm just wondering why I'm having these thoughts and feelings toward another dude. I really don't want to mess up this relationship but last night really messed with my head. Does anyone else have similar experiences? How did you combat your feelings? I mean after six months of no physical touch from the opposite sex I get really really sensitive to guys that hit on me. Usually they don't Because they know I have a boyfriend.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Being in a relationship, CD or LDR, doesn't mean that attraction to someone else doesn't/can't happen. It's what you do about it that matters. You alone are responsible for your actions.

    If you are committed to your SO and you know that by staying in contact with this other person it could cause issues, you tell the other person that you don't think staying friends would be a good idea. If you decide that you want to explore what could possibly happen with this other person, then you break it off with your SO first.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

    Comment

      #3
      R&R hit the nail on the head. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you don't have attractions to other people. Heck, there have been moments when I was in a really great relationship where I was more likely to feel such attractions at times just because a) I was having good sex which makes me feel more in tune with physical attraction and b) I found that I loved the whole world from a mental/emotional perspective because I was loving my SO. It's kind of normal for these feelings to happen. If it turns into something more that you want to explore, though - definitely have the integrity and respect to break off with your current SO first.

      Comment

        #4
        Agreed. It's been proven that humans aren't really meant to stay monogamous, otherwise we wouldn't be attracted and date so often. But, like R&R said, it's up to you to decide what you want to do. If you want to stay faithful, and monogamous, that's on you.

        It's perfectly normal to be attracted to other people, and wonder what it's like. It doesn't mean you're going to cheat, or that you're a terrible person. It happens.

        Comment

          #5
          Thank you for all your replies.

          After a couple days I'm still feeling quite mixed up about it.

          I definitely don't want to cheat on him and I don't want to explore further with that guy... I just feel really guilty for even having those feelings and thinking that way at the time. It's nice to hear maybe it's not completely uncommon to experience this though. It's really freaked me out!

          Comment

            #6
            Regardless of CD, or LD. Never entertain the thought of looking at/for another 'potential' mate. While in a relationship. Because, It amounts to this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_affair

            First Visit: September 2016
            Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
            Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

            John 3:16
            For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
            John 4:12
            I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

            Comment

              #7
              Feelings are feelings, there is no need to be ashamed or guilty about that. You saw an attractive guy and felt attraction. Your LD relationship has to go 6 months without touch and he envoked feelings in that you usually keep low flame as to not get yourself frustrated. So, you felt giddy and flushed. It is normal. You are a normal person who has to wait a long time to see her loved one.

              When is your next visit?
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                Feelings are feelings, there is no need to be ashamed or guilty about that. You saw an attractive guy and felt attraction. Your LD relationship has to go 6 months without touch and he envoked feelings in that you usually keep low flame as to not get yourself frustrated. So, you felt giddy and flushed. It is normal. You are a normal person who has to wait a long time to see her loved one.

                When is your next visit?
                This. Like I said, it happens. And, it's natural. As long as you don't act on those emotions, it's fine.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by R&R View Post
                  Being in a relationship, CD or LDR, doesn't mean that attraction to someone else doesn't/can't happen. It's what you do about it that matters. You alone are responsible for your actions.

                  If you are committed to your SO and you know that by staying in contact with this other person it could cause issues, you tell the other person that you don't think staying friends would be a good idea. If you decide that you want to explore what could possibly happen with this other person, then you break it off with your SO first.
                  Agreed with this 100%. Please, if you want to explore with this new guy, break it off with your SO. He deserves that.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Honestly, it's normal to get attracted to someone, but if you really love your SO, you need forget whatever you have with this guy. sometimes us women will find something because we thought that maybe this new guy can give us more time or what so ever, don't regret it in the end. it's really hard to start from the scratch, think of the possibilities, think positive, think everything that you and your SO been through all this years. those happy memories are priceless. what if one day you knew that your SO is attracted to someone else? what will u feel? but if you really into this new guy and you think you will be happy with him, you need to cut it off your relationship with your SO. just to be fair with him. think first

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...
                    X