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    Teens First heartbreak

    Hi everyone
    My first boyfriend (for 4 months) and I decided yesterday to end our relationship. It was more like he pressured me to end it since he didn't wanna make me sad. He said he had been loosing feelings for a couple of weeks. Which is understandable since we didn't meet for 2 months due to his very time craving sport, and him just not having the time. So we basically just texted a couple of times a day for 2 months because he could never skype either. He said he really did love me for a long time, but since we have the distance and he barely have time he was loosing feelings. (I live in Denmark and he lives in Sweden so we're a good 2 hours apart with train. And we're both 15). I then after our conversation said "is this goodbye then?" And he said he didn't wanna say completely goodbye, so he like wanted to be friends. I said I didn't know if I wanted to and slept on it. I then the next morning said I'd give it a try, so now we're trying. I just don't know if it's a bad idea. He seems to take this easily, and I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure how many feelings I have for him anymore, since he started to distance himself around the time he said he started to loose feelings. I'm definitely not over him yet, and I don't like the thought of him having a new girlfriend at all.

    So now we're talking on snapchat again. That's the only place we're friends now so i won't be reminded too much of him. So we aren't friends on Facebook and I unfollowed him on instagram. I just don't wanna let him out of my life completely, but I don't know if I should. He says he's barely in love anymore and his feelings keep fading more and more, and I think I'm still in love. Will it make it worse to still text him? It's just weird to think about that he doesn't feel anything for me anymore, he also says he has been losing attraction as well. He said he obviously still thinks I'm good looking but have been losing the attraction and romantic connection.

    So what should I do to move on easier? Cause getting back togehter isn't an option
    Sincerely the heartbroken and confused Dane
    Last edited by Orca4500; July 23, 2016, 11:45 AM.

    #2
    You need to stop talking to him. Every time you talk, he is negative. You don't need that. You are young and have so much time and energy you can put elsewhere! You deserve and have every right to expect better.

    So.... Block him off. Tell him thanks, but you are moving on. Work on yourself and things you like and want to do. Hang with your friends, find a hobby. It is hard and it hurts a lot when you break up, especially when he is not really being nice.

    Have a good cry or two, then put on your big girl pants and enjoy life! xo

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      #3
      But he is being really nice about it and just want me to be happy. I told him that I'll need some time to heal and after that I can come back and we can try and be friends. The problem is that I don't hate him, and it feels empty now that I said goodbye for a while

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        #4
        But he is being really nice about it and just want me to be happy. I told him that I'll need some time to heal and after that I can come back and we can try and be friends. The problem is that I don't hate him, and it feels empty now that I said goodbye for a while

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          #5
          Yes you're right it will take time to heal but you need to take that time to heal on your own away from him. Believe me when I say this, I was in your situation once when i was younger where i was totally in love with this girl and when we broke up she wanted me to remain her friend but all she did was make me feel horrible and angry at myself for still liking her and so i had to bite the bullet and just block her on all social media so i wouldn't constantly see her and see how happy without she was everyday. I needed time away form her for my brain to return to normal rational thinking and to realise my life was about more than just pleasing her, especially when all she did was hurt me and make me feel like crap. Hang out with your friends, live your life for you and try forget about him, i know it's hard but talking to him every day won't help no matter how nice he's being.
          my girls <3

          Josie (SO)
          Met online ~ 17th August 2017 ~
          Met in person ~ 30th August 2017 ~
          Became official ~ 15th September 2017 ~
          Closed the distance and moved in together! ~ 18th June 2018 ~

          Ash
          Met online ~ 21st November 2018 ~
          Met in person ~ 26th November 2018 ~
          Became official ~ 4th December 2018 ~
          All moved in together! ~ 30th May 2019 ~

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            #6
            Does it hurt you at all when he says he is losing attraction? Losing feelings?
            You said you cant stand the idea of him having another GF. That means you still have feelings for him and that is ok.
            You asked advice on what to do to help move on. You need to let go.
            You need to stop doing things that hurt. You may or may not become friends after its all said and done, but that is the future and not now. So, either keep talking to him and hearing how he is loosing feelings etc., and he will find a new GF... Because tbh, that sounds what he is leading up to, or just.let.go for a while and heal. Those are you two choices right now.

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              #7
              I had a good long talk with my friend today and I feel much better now. He told me he wont be doing any dating because of his time craving sport. But I don't really think he can say that for certain. But honestly, I don't really care that much now. I think I'm starting to let go, and I've realised that I wasn't happy in our relationship at last. I miss the beginning of the relationship where it was all exiting and you were just fallen in love. I don't have an urge to contact him at all which is good I guess. So maybe it's more the thought of having a relationship I miss. I was of course in love, but not so much at the ending, I just needed to realise that. I'll of course still let some more time pass but I feel better now. I found some old messages today and didn't even get sad. I just remembered it was a good time, but it's over now. And that's ok.
              I missed the person he used to be, the person I fell in love with. Not the person he is now. And I know that no matter what it'll never be like before. At last he did make me more sad/irritated than happy

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