Telling Parents/Family ugh @.@

[ZeeNebula]

OK so my boyfriend (24,UK) and I (24, US) we met 4 years ago online on Imvu in a rp chatroom. He started as my boyfriend in the to and it escalated from there obviously . Problem is both odour families are pretty old fashioned. My aunt (mother figure) is old school and already doesn't believe online dating itself works as a whole. From his end he says he also isn't sure what to tell his parents. Yes Technically were adults but still young adults who want their approval/blessing and no drama, stress etc well no added struggle.

Question is for those who met under similar circumstance what did you tell them, when and how??? Even those who's situation pushy the same what's your advice and opinion on what to say. Tell the truth, something more elaborate and if so what? Just need input and ideas because I don't like feeling like we're a secret. Also don't want it to seem sudden or cause an uproar when we're seriously ready to close the distance because of a situation they didn't know existed... Thanks in advance for the input and advice.

[Katy_G]

I agonized about this for a month after my SO and I got together. Most of my friends encouraged me to gently broach the topic with my parents, if only to prevent them from getting upset that I hid my SO for so long.

I started off with my dad, who knows my mind better than my mother does. I simply said, "Hey Dad, what if I started dating again?" My father guessed right away that I was about to tell him of a special someone. He was pretty okay with it, knowing more so that I had gotten together with an old friend of mine.

The more difficult part was telling my mother, since my mother is skeptical of online relationships too. However since I'd cleared this matter with my dad, it made it easier. I said something along the lines of, "Mom, I need to tell you something. I already told Dad, actually. I've got a friend who is working overseas, we've been in touch, and we got together last month." As I expected my mom was a bit upset at first but she eventually warmed to the idea.

As for extended family, well I didn't bother telling them till my SO and I changed our Facebook statuses. But that's another story.

[Honour]

Started off with my mum, dropping my SO's name casually into chats a few weeks into knowing him. Eventually my mum started off by doing the same to my dad, dropping my SO's names casually into conversations until the truth was out. I don't think my dad trusts my SO at all, but he doesn't at least lecture me for it. My mum's much more open-minded about it all.

[Elizabeth123]

You've been together for four years and now are worried about upsetting your parents? IMHO you've already been keeping secrets.
Have you met in person yet? If not, perhaps the best idea would be to plan a visit and meet each others families.

[ZeeNebula]

When you told them I mean how. Did you tell them that you two met online in some chat room, game or etc? Or thought of something else to tell them? My situation isn't just working over seas we met online on a game/virtual world that isn't traditional or normally "acceptable" with my not so open minded family. Not exactly sure how bad his end is.

No haven't been together the 4 years. We met 4 years ago then were "unofficially" together cause we both acknowledged the feelings but never labeled it because we were both saying long distance doesn't work etc. Eventually we both found partners near us but we both got jealous argued and had a falling out. When we were both single again the feelings were still there so we decided to define our relationship. We haven't met yet we're planning a visit. That's what I would like to do, visit and meet family and friends. Haven't talked to him about yet usually get distracted with plans of you know meeting excitement.

[Katy_G]

When you told them I mean how. Did you tell them that you two met online in some chat room, game or etc? Or thought of something else to tell them? My situation isn't just working over seas we met online on a game/virtual world that isn't traditional or normally "acceptable" with my not so open minded family. Not exactly sure how bad his end is.

No haven't been together the 4 years. We met 4 years ago then were "unofficially" together cause we both acknowledged the feelings but never labeled it because we were both saying long distance doesn't work etc. Eventually we both found partners near us but we both got jealous argued and had a falling out. When we were both single again the feelings were still there so we decided to define our relationship. We haven't met yet we're planning a visit. That's what I would like to do, visit and meet family and friends. Haven't talked to him about yet usually get distracted with plans of you know meeting excitement.

Ah I see.

In my case my SO and I met in person years ago (in university) before he went abroad---and only then we got together. So I got to explain that, even having mutual friends vouch for me and my SO. What was awkward was explaining to my parents how on earth did a relationship bloom over the internet when my SO and I were just friends for years.