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    I feel so empty after breaking up :(

    Hey Guys, I'm Bria.
    I was in an LDR for 9 months, and I called it quits two days ago.
    Everything was going well until his birthday visit in October which I flew from my home in buffalo to his in New Jersey.
    A week before this trip he'd gotten into an accident and totaled his car. He then told me he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, and he didn't know how he felt about me anymore. I was hurt and angry and I told him he should reimburse me my flight, and I'd leave him alone. The day before my flight he begged me to come & he apologized and said he just was stressed about the accident. So I still loved him, I went. He was extremely moody when I got there, didn't want to do much & even when I wanted to make love he shoved me away. I finally gathered my things to leave after cursing him out. It was our worst visit ever. He begged me again, and this time cried about being stressed out and I gave in. We promised to start over, fresh.

    I went home and things were good for a short period of time. Then two weeks ago He randomly accused me of never being available to him, being an awful girlfriend. Meanwhile he'd ignored my texts, so I'd gone out with my friends and stopped worrying about him. By now I had HAD it! I lost my cool, my temper. He blocked me on his phone, social media everything.

    We didn't talk to eachother for week and I was hurt, devastated. All of this behavior came out of nowhere. He sent me a long text message apologizing begging for another chance. This time I told him that we could take things day by day, and I had rules now that if they were broken I was done.

    things went well for a little bit, we even seemed to get along way better. He asked me for nude photos and I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing it because I was still hurt & healing. He said he understood but when I asked to FaceTime he said he was going to bed. The next day the same thing, he was too tired to talk. My final straw was when I had a rough day , and needed someone to talk to and he texted me and said "We'll see I'm busy doing homework". I felt like garbage.
    He called me eventually and I expressed that I was stressed out and he barely said 3 words to me. So I felt like I was being a burden or interrupting his homework so I hung up.

    I finally texted him and told him I didn't want it anymore, and good luck. He found every reason possible why all of this was my fault. I just blocked him. I feel so abused & empty. He changed randomly on me and I don't know why.

    #2
    You get angry and curse him out..he gets mad and moody and dissed you... excuse me, but why the hell do you even care? You both handled this very immaturely and don't communicate all all.
    You were both abusive. But on your big girl pants, learn from this and move on.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by BriaTheArtist View Post
      Hey Guys, I'm Bria.
      I was in an LDR for 9 months, and I called it quits two days ago.
      Everything was going well until his birthday visit in October which I flew from my home in buffalo to his in New Jersey.
      A week before this trip he'd gotten into an accident and totaled his car. He then told me he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, and he didn't know how he felt about me anymore. I was hurt and angry and I told him he should reimburse me my flight, and I'd leave him alone. The day before my flight he begged me to come & he apologized and said he just was stressed about the accident. So I still loved him, I went. He was extremely moody when I got there, didn't want to do much & even when I wanted to make love he shoved me away. I finally gathered my things to leave after cursing him out. It was our worst visit ever. He begged me again, and this time cried about being stressed out and I gave in. We promised to start over, fresh.

      I went home and things were good for a short period of time. Then two weeks ago He randomly accused me of never being available to him, being an awful girlfriend. Meanwhile he'd ignored my texts, so I'd gone out with my friends and stopped worrying about him. By now I had HAD it! I lost my cool, my temper. He blocked me on his phone, social media everything.

      We didn't talk to eachother for week and I was hurt, devastated. All of this behavior came out of nowhere. He sent me a long text message apologizing begging for another chance. This time I told him that we could take things day by day, and I had rules now that if they were broken I was done.

      things went well for a little bit, we even seemed to get along way better. He asked me for nude photos and I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing it because I was still hurt & healing. He said he understood but when I asked to FaceTime he said he was going to bed. The next day the same thing, he was too tired to talk. My final straw was when I had a rough day , and needed someone to talk to and he texted me and said "We'll see I'm busy doing homework". I felt like garbage.
      He called me eventually and I expressed that I was stressed out and he barely said 3 words to me. So I felt like I was being a burden or interrupting his homework so I hung up.

      I finally texted him and told him I didn't want it anymore, and good luck. He found every reason possible why all of this was my fault. I just blocked him. I feel so abused & empty. He changed randomly on me and I don't know why.
      A few days has passed now..i hope u're feelin better. Well if u want to work things out you could discuss your concerns. Come up with a compromise and tolerable solution.But if you are certain and have decided to move on hopefully u'll be strong to face the upcoming days without him. All i can say is u'll wonder at times things u can no longer ask him. As for nudes please be careful who you share it with. It is uncertain if he will upload it online. Take care of urself =)

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Curiouscapy View Post
        A few days has passed now..i hope u're feelin better. Well if u want to work things out you could discuss your concerns. Come up with a compromise and tolerable solution.But if you are certain and have decided to move on hopefully u'll be strong to face the upcoming days without him. All i can say is u'll wonder at times things u can no longer ask him. As for nudes please be careful who you share it with. It is uncertain if he will upload it online. Take care of urself =)
        Update : I sent him a message yesterday, expressing that I acknowledge my wrongs in the situation. It's hard because we were also best friends. I just apologized for everything and expressed that I don't want to be enemies. All he could say was "You were wrong, and you hurt me and I can only support you from a distance for now". We had our fair share of ups and downs and I've forgiven him so many times I lost count. I guess it just hurt to have everything put on me.
        I won't contact him again.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by sasad View Post
          You get angry and curse him out..he gets mad and moody and dissed you... excuse me, but why the hell do you even care? You both handled this very immaturely and don't communicate all all.
          You were both abusive. But on your big girl pants, learn from this and move on.

          Ditto what sasad says... plus if you've been in this relationship for 9 months, there had to be more leading up to this point. learn from it and move on... you deserve better!
          Sparkling72

          "Strength in Us!"


          "exclusive" since May 13, 2016
          ** Shortened the distance!! December 2016 **
          closing the distance in ~ Oct. 2018

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by BriaTheArtist View Post
            Update : I sent him a message yesterday, expressing that I acknowledge my wrongs in the situation. It's hard because we were also best friends. I just apologized for everything and expressed that I don't want to be enemies. All he could say was "You were wrong, and you hurt me and I can only support you from a distance for now". We had our fair share of ups and downs and I've forgiven him so many times I lost count. I guess it just hurt to have everything put on me.
            I won't contact him again.

            But it wasn't all on you. You BOTH did this to each other, and tbh, if you are going to apologize, you apologize for what you did to hurt someone, not for "everything ".
            Go read what you posted.. you both fight and block each other. You both don't belong together right now as you don't know how to handle conflict or how to communicate.
            Last edited by sasad; December 5, 2016, 08:55 PM.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by BriaTheArtist View Post
              Update : I sent him a message yesterday, expressing that I acknowledge my wrongs in the situation. It's hard because we were also best friends. I just apologized for everything and expressed that I don't want to be enemies. All he could say was "You were wrong, and you hurt me and I can only support you from a distance for now". We had our fair share of ups and downs and I've forgiven him so many times I lost count. I guess it just hurt to have everything put on me.
              I won't contact him again.
              .I praise ur effort and initiative to try and save the relationship. It shows he means alot to you but he has reacted unappreciatively of your love and apology. He is unkind to blame you for everything.i'm glad you are standing up for urself by not contacting him you'll make him realize that your love and friendship is not his entitlement to abuse. He is potraying irresponsible behavior for his actions. Is it worthy for you to tolerate? Why did he choose to support you from a distance. When you put in effort irregardless where you are? I advise you to think of the pros and cons of being or not being with him. Moving on takes alot of perserverance and self will. Now when you stop contacting him he will text you again. Think wisely before you reply..would you want the same rountine or be firm and set your rules or ignore him? It could also be that he wont message you at all. Movin on is not always a solution unless you are for certain that movin on is what you truly want from the relationship. It took me four years to move on and i have no doubt its the best thing to do because i want to do it.You also have to be prepared mentally and emotionally with the thought that he will be with someone else and so will you. It takes alot to be patient and be strong. Do what you feel best at the same time learn what you can tolerate and what not in the future. I wish you all the best with future decisions. =)

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by sasad View Post
                But it wasn't all on you. You BOTH did this to each other, and tbh, if you are going to apologize, you apologize for what you did to hurt someone, not for "everything ".
                Go read what you posted.. you both fight and block each other. You both don't belong together right now as you don't know how to handle conflict or how to communicate.
                Let me clarify I apologized for my part the role I played.
                Never once apologized for his portion of this, when I said everything I meant everything on MY behalf.

                Comment


                  #9
                  We just had a lengthy phone converstion and he also apologized for what he'd done wrong. We mutually decided that we have some growing to do, and that right now going our separate ways will enable us to do this. We both concluded we lost the respect for eachother in the relationship. He says he hopes we can reconcile & reconnect someday, and that the chapter isn't closed forever. But right now I'm able to accept we both deserve better.
                  Last edited by BriaTheArtist; December 5, 2016, 11:38 PM.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by BriaTheArtist View Post
                    We just had a lengthy phone converstion and he also apologized for what he'd done wrong. We mutually decided that we have some growing to do, and that right now going our separate ways will enable us to do this. We both concluded we lost the respect for eachother in the relationship. He says he hopes we can reconcile & reconnect someday, and that the chapter isn't closed forever. But right now I'm able to accept we both deserve better.
                    This is nice to know. Im happy for you that you have a peaceful closure. May the future be kind for both of you
                    Last edited by Curiouscapy; December 6, 2016, 12:05 AM. Reason: Smiley error

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Well, I think you should work a bit how to control your emotions.
                      On the other hand, you should never ever let someone calls you "awful girlfriend". You deserve someone you'll be perfect for.
                      If I were you, I'd first take some time alone and work a bit on an emotional growth and maturity.

                      Comment

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