It's a surprise...but not so fun anymore.
Hey all!
I've been planning out a gift/surprise for my SO, and had been doing so for well over a month now. A lot happened over the course of last month (the original thread for details/clarity https://members.lovingfromadistance....for-Valentines )
It was supposed to be fun and meticulously planned, but at the moment it just seems like she is unintentionally making me feel as if I'm being blown-off, and I know it's because she doesn't get the gravity of why it's time-sensitive because she doesn't know what it is.
Not to reiterate the original thread, but I wanted to tell my SO in a romanticized way that I finally have the funds to afford a visit from her to me or vice-versa. Problem is that since she has been so busy with school she hasn't been able to stop by the customs office or apparently call them to check the gift value because I promised her I'd pay whatever the value is. Ticket prices just climbed about $200 when I checked today for the dates I had in mind and I want to finally discuss the details with her so we can both decide what would work (she originally anticipated she'd be able to come back to the US in a couple of years so that's why it's such a big deal).
She starts her day at 7:00am and gets off at 7:00pm in the evening wherein she only has twenty minutes for lunch (observation at the hospital). I don't want to press her but being in the army I get it completely; my days typically start at 5am, and there have been weeks, months, etc. where I can't go home, no proper showers for personal hygiene, where mission requirements mean no cell-phone/smart phones allowed (shut off, batteries removed, confiscated and depending on locale, virtually no signal) and at the moment on rear-detachment, I'm the only clerk in my shop (mos is 42A for those current/prior service members), responsible for all the HR functions as well as basic soldiering skills because I'm the only S-1 clerk in my BN present. Even being on rear assisting forward personnel, I'm still super busy and haven't had much time to focus on my own transition due to work-issues I can't disclose among other duites. I've helped her at all times of day when she contacts me for help, even well after 12am. I know she appreciates it because she always concerns herself and reiterates her feelings, but I want her to try a little extra hard for me and simply ask her lecturers from anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half to run this errand i.e. findout the cost for pick up so I can forward the funds, she can pick up the package, and we can have our conversation. It would be no issue if ticket prices weren't climbing and...for the fact that the longer it remains at the customs office, the price climbs at a rate of $20 per day for storage since the place isn't built for it. What makes me a tad more upset is that I messaged her to let me know once it arrived in-country on February 6th, but she never did and I had to ask her this past Monday just to find that tidbit out.
I know it's a new phase in her academic career and I've been supportive in whatever she needs, but I need her to feel it's important because I'm asking her to reach beyond her means this once as I have for her on multiple ocassions
With all that said, I'm getting frustrated at the situation , so I'm thinking I should just call and tell her the surprise when she's available because this will likely persist and I know it's on me to let her know how I feel. I don't want to upset her by being so adament about it and she won't know the whole deal because that's the point on surprising, but I need her to do this one thing for me to allow for me to help her. The account for the customs place isn't in her name so I messaged her to ask the account holder to go in her stead just so I can get an answer.
She's genuine and she's lovely, but I need her to consider my perspective on this without coming off as being forceful or, of course, needy. Any advice? Am I too selfish and/or apologetic? Should I just tell her what it is or just commit to my original plan but become increasingly frustrated on the down-low? Tips from the new and the seasoned please.
I've been planning out a gift/surprise for my SO, and had been doing so for well over a month now. A lot happened over the course of last month (the original thread for details/clarity https://members.lovingfromadistance....for-Valentines )
It was supposed to be fun and meticulously planned, but at the moment it just seems like she is unintentionally making me feel as if I'm being blown-off, and I know it's because she doesn't get the gravity of why it's time-sensitive because she doesn't know what it is.
Not to reiterate the original thread, but I wanted to tell my SO in a romanticized way that I finally have the funds to afford a visit from her to me or vice-versa. Problem is that since she has been so busy with school she hasn't been able to stop by the customs office or apparently call them to check the gift value because I promised her I'd pay whatever the value is. Ticket prices just climbed about $200 when I checked today for the dates I had in mind and I want to finally discuss the details with her so we can both decide what would work (she originally anticipated she'd be able to come back to the US in a couple of years so that's why it's such a big deal).
She starts her day at 7:00am and gets off at 7:00pm in the evening wherein she only has twenty minutes for lunch (observation at the hospital). I don't want to press her but being in the army I get it completely; my days typically start at 5am, and there have been weeks, months, etc. where I can't go home, no proper showers for personal hygiene, where mission requirements mean no cell-phone/smart phones allowed (shut off, batteries removed, confiscated and depending on locale, virtually no signal) and at the moment on rear-detachment, I'm the only clerk in my shop (mos is 42A for those current/prior service members), responsible for all the HR functions as well as basic soldiering skills because I'm the only S-1 clerk in my BN present. Even being on rear assisting forward personnel, I'm still super busy and haven't had much time to focus on my own transition due to work-issues I can't disclose among other duites. I've helped her at all times of day when she contacts me for help, even well after 12am. I know she appreciates it because she always concerns herself and reiterates her feelings, but I want her to try a little extra hard for me and simply ask her lecturers from anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half to run this errand i.e. findout the cost for pick up so I can forward the funds, she can pick up the package, and we can have our conversation. It would be no issue if ticket prices weren't climbing and...for the fact that the longer it remains at the customs office, the price climbs at a rate of $20 per day for storage since the place isn't built for it. What makes me a tad more upset is that I messaged her to let me know once it arrived in-country on February 6th, but she never did and I had to ask her this past Monday just to find that tidbit out.
I know it's a new phase in her academic career and I've been supportive in whatever she needs, but I need her to feel it's important because I'm asking her to reach beyond her means this once as I have for her on multiple ocassions
With all that said, I'm getting frustrated at the situation , so I'm thinking I should just call and tell her the surprise when she's available because this will likely persist and I know it's on me to let her know how I feel. I don't want to upset her by being so adament about it and she won't know the whole deal because that's the point on surprising, but I need her to do this one thing for me to allow for me to help her. The account for the customs place isn't in her name so I messaged her to ask the account holder to go in her stead just so I can get an answer.
She's genuine and she's lovely, but I need her to consider my perspective on this without coming off as being forceful or, of course, needy. Any advice? Am I too selfish and/or apologetic? Should I just tell her what it is or just commit to my original plan but become increasingly frustrated on the down-low? Tips from the new and the seasoned please.
I ended up following advice and telling her over text why it was important and prompted her with a question, sent her pics and the description of a lot of stuff, and she was pretty much speechless. I was happy and it felt like a clould had been dispersed from over my head. It wasn't the way I wanted her to find out first, but it was killing me. Plus she had gotten pretty sick the week on or before it arrived in-country so she couldn't. She was able to pick it up late February but ultimately it wasn't too expensive to pick up either (she needed about $70 USD which translates to a lot more in East Carribean currency). She had trouble carrying it because she had to take it with her on the bus (she does have thin arms, so that's to be expected lol), but she REALLY loved the book and the little jewel kit I got her. She was so happy she just kept messaging me "Still speechless" every couple of hours. A well-needed ego boost after all my concerns/stress...
Unfortunately she told me that she can't come in the summer because her hospital observations ramp up in April and through the summer. It sucks, but I understand. Ultimately it's not strictly the circumstances we meet under, I just really want to see her (though during my terminal leave from the military would have been really convinient, there will be more opportunities, I'm sure).
I was thinking about updating for a while now but needed to come to terms with postponing the visit. There WAS something else I wanted to give to her in person, but I guess that may just have to wait until next year... 
This time next year I'll be in school in Savannah, Georgia, will have my own pad and will be on my first real steps towards my dream career.
Comment