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    JEALOUSY

    How do you guys handle jealousy over a girl? I mean we've been in ldr for almost 3 years. One time, the guy had this girl friend on his flat. At first, I did not mind it. But it happened again and this time the girl slept there... Like she fell asleep.
    If you were in my part, how would you react? Was it wrong that I get jealous with that?

    #2
    I don't think it's wrong to get jealous, it's a natural reaction if you ask me. But if they're friends, and you're together in a happy relationship, does it truly matter? Don't think into it too much. It doesn't mean they're being dishonest. If it really upsets you though... talk to your partner about it in a non-accusing way. Communicate. Don't bottle it up.

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      #3
      Some people are jelous and some are not. It's about trust and communication. I don't mind my partner sleeping over at his friends house, no matter of the gender. But if you don't feel good about it then you should share your feeling and talk.

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        #4
        Jealousy comes from insecurity. That is your issue and not that of your SO's. If your SO has never given you a reason to question their faithfulness or dedication to you and your relationship, than this is something that you need to figure out and handle on your own. You can tell your SO it makes you uncomfortable, but if your SO isn't doing anything wrong, they shouldn't have to change their behavior to increase your comfort level.
        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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          #5
          Jealousy is a natural thing! I'm terrible about getting jealous over tiny things. Most the time I don't say anything but if it really bothers me I do. If I see a girl showing him to much attention if fb like liking all his post and or commenting it really gets to me. My SO has two kids with someone else and I'm super jealous over his babymomma cause she gets to share that with him and she will forever be a part of his life for the kids sake. Mau seem silly and I try not to think about it much but it's definitely there... I say if you don't get jealous then you really don't care!

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            #6
            Originally posted by NannyC1990 View Post
            Jealousy is a natural thing! I'm terrible about getting jealous over tiny things. Most the time I don't say anything but if it really bothers me I do. If I see a girl showing him to much attention if fb like liking all his post and or commenting it really gets to me. My SO has two kids with someone else and I'm super jealous over his babymomma cause she gets to share that with him and she will forever be a part of his life for the kids sake. Mau seem silly and I try not to think about it much but it's definitely there... I say if you don't get jealous then you really don't care!
            I have to do disagree with the statement above...If you dont get jealous,then you really dont care...
            Jealousy is a negative emotion. It's because o for insecurities.and other stuff. It really is about lack of trust and what R & R stated.
            Perhaps you are talking about envy?

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              #7
              Originally posted by NannyC1990 View Post
              I say if you don't get jealous then you really don't care!
              I disagree. It's about trust and confidence. Not feeling insecure about your partner doesn't mean that you don't care.
              Last edited by Rezie; March 23, 2017, 10:04 AM.

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                #8
                without much to go on from your statement, it's kinda hard to understand why this would cause you to feel jealous. I am typically not a jealous person and I think sometimes people can confuse jealousy and possessiveness. Have you seen her and think she is prettier than you and therefore are jealous of her? Or are you possessive over your boyfriend and don't want him to have friends that are girls? Is this girl a long-time friend of his? Or is this someone he met at a bar and invited back to his flat? Has he given you a reason to doubt his loyalty? For example, I have a lot of friends that are men, friends that I knew since middle school and were more like protective brothers. They had spent the night at my parents house growing up, they stayed at my apartment when I was old enough to move out and get my own place, shared a bed with them on spring break trips in my single days, they stayed at my house when I was married... they're like family, my brothers. I have other friends that are men that I know more recently through work that I hang out with a lot.. when my SO and I got closer, I told him about the man-friends I have and things we do together, etc. to be upfront and open about it, to make it clear that I wasn't dating other people, but had these friendships. Perhaps his motivation for telling you, was to be open and honest that he has this friend and that she came over.
                Sparkling72

                "Strength in Us!"


                "exclusive" since May 13, 2016
                ** Shortened the distance!! December 2016 **
                closing the distance in ~ Oct. 2018

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