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Closing the distance stress

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    Closing the distance stress

    Hi all,

    my boyfriend and I will finally close the distance soon! We are planning on getting married and starting living together on September of this year. We are both super excited and over the moon about the whole thing, but we're also experiencing a lot of stress.

    The wedding will be a very simple party, but it's turned out to be more difficult to organize than expected (the wedding will be in my country but none of us is currently living there). There are a lot of decisions to be taken and the paperwork is such a burden. Plus, I'm four months away from graduating and I'm feeling so overwhelmed by everything. We are both anxious people and do not generally handle stressful situations too well, and I've realized that all these decisions and deadlines are affecting our conversations a lot.

    We often argue about (stupid) things or are rude to each other. Even if we do talk a lot about how we feel and we end up apologizing for all the silly discussions, all this arguing-discussing-apologizing cycle is eating away the little time we have available to skype. And this makes us even more stressed.


    Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with the closing-the-distance emotional rollercoaster?

    #2
    Maybe set smaller goals and work one at a time from there. For example for the wedding set a goal to finish certain amount of paperwork once that is finished set a goal of picking up a dress and when this is done then take the next one. Maybe if you divide everything in smaller pieces it might feel less overwhelming.

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      #3
      Delegate what you can when it comes to the wedding. I know it is not European to have bridesmaids, but boy did that help me when I needed to plan the wedding. Ask family and friends to take over little things so you don't have to be stressed about every little detail.

      Relationship began: 05/22/2012
      First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
      Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
      Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
      Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
      Married: 1/24/2015
      Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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        #4
        Thank you for your replies!
        Good point, delegating might be useful. I'll surely give it a try. I'm also giving my SO more space and I'm trying to not bug him too much about every small detail.
        I'm a bit of a control freak and I like to be super organized when planning things, but he is not like this and may have felt pressured to do things my way.

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