Thank you Camiul!
Yes I know I'm a terrible and selfish girlfriend. Although he keeps saying the issue is with him and he feels he's not mature enough. I admit that I'm at fault for this too.
I've been searching and people with depression tends to feel that they don't deserve love and is not worthy of love. Check! He keeps saying that to me
I've been so careful with the words that I tell him but I'm sorry I'm human and sometimes get carried away by my feelings. I did apologize to him last night about me being so self centered and didn't listen to him. But he ignored my message anyways. meh! And moved on with other topics.
We couldn't do a voice or video call since he's working in a country where it is banned. So we can only communicate through facebook. But thats better than nothing.
About the gifts I did sent him some gifts last year. It was personalized explosion box (with pictures & love notes) and a little pillow printed with the love letter I wrote for him. He really liked it! Last month February was his birthday I couldn't send him anything coz he's away for a long time and wouldn't be able to receive the gifts. He also asked me if I wanted anything for valentines but I refused so he didn't send me any.
Just January I was already planning to give him something on the wedding day. But since it won't happen anytime soon I still decided to start doing the project and give it to him next month. It's more like an appreciation letter and telling him how amazing person he is. Coz he still is since day 1 of our relationship.
Yeah about the engagement. He proposed to me last year August and then later left me his original birth certificate to start our plan with the visa. It was fiance visa originally. Anyways he returned to UK and I opened his live birth certificate and found out his real age. But hey! I was surprised yes but it wasn't a big deal for me. He apologized to me coz the reason he lied was he didn't want to look immature for me. He said he was 20 when we met online and I was 22. So I thought he was born 1992 but the truth he was born 1994. So I thought he was 24 when we were engaged, but then when I found out I asked him this exact words "Are you sure you wanna be engaged at age 22?" He answered, "Yes I've never been sure my whole life"
Anyways it's only 4 years age gap even if it will be 10-30 years age gap it would matter right?(as long as you're not a minor age)
It was a small lie and I moved on with that. Although I did ask his parents and they said it was kinda early and feels like a rush. But it's already done, and we agreed that I'll return to him the engagement ring this July when he comes and said he will propose when he's ready to. And he mentioned he has a plan for it. And ofcourse he won;t tell me about it! lol
I'm taking an IELTS exam next week for the visa. He said I should still do it. I asked why since the engagement and wedding is canceled and the visa may not happen anyways. But he told me to stop thinking ahead and just do the exam.(i know Im annoying sometimes )
Anyways, he said we're not okay but getting better. But we still chat everyday like a normal couple and even has plans to tour around when he comes to Philippines next. I'm just here trying not to overthink and hopeful that everything will turn out okay. And that we will be able to discuss and workout our relationship.
Yes I know I'm a terrible and selfish girlfriend. Although he keeps saying the issue is with him and he feels he's not mature enough. I admit that I'm at fault for this too.
I've been searching and people with depression tends to feel that they don't deserve love and is not worthy of love. Check! He keeps saying that to me
I've been so careful with the words that I tell him but I'm sorry I'm human and sometimes get carried away by my feelings. I did apologize to him last night about me being so self centered and didn't listen to him. But he ignored my message anyways. meh! And moved on with other topics.
We couldn't do a voice or video call since he's working in a country where it is banned. So we can only communicate through facebook. But thats better than nothing.
About the gifts I did sent him some gifts last year. It was personalized explosion box (with pictures & love notes) and a little pillow printed with the love letter I wrote for him. He really liked it! Last month February was his birthday I couldn't send him anything coz he's away for a long time and wouldn't be able to receive the gifts. He also asked me if I wanted anything for valentines but I refused so he didn't send me any.
Just January I was already planning to give him something on the wedding day. But since it won't happen anytime soon I still decided to start doing the project and give it to him next month. It's more like an appreciation letter and telling him how amazing person he is. Coz he still is since day 1 of our relationship.
Yeah about the engagement. He proposed to me last year August and then later left me his original birth certificate to start our plan with the visa. It was fiance visa originally. Anyways he returned to UK and I opened his live birth certificate and found out his real age. But hey! I was surprised yes but it wasn't a big deal for me. He apologized to me coz the reason he lied was he didn't want to look immature for me. He said he was 20 when we met online and I was 22. So I thought he was born 1992 but the truth he was born 1994. So I thought he was 24 when we were engaged, but then when I found out I asked him this exact words "Are you sure you wanna be engaged at age 22?" He answered, "Yes I've never been sure my whole life"
Anyways it's only 4 years age gap even if it will be 10-30 years age gap it would matter right?(as long as you're not a minor age)
It was a small lie and I moved on with that. Although I did ask his parents and they said it was kinda early and feels like a rush. But it's already done, and we agreed that I'll return to him the engagement ring this July when he comes and said he will propose when he's ready to. And he mentioned he has a plan for it. And ofcourse he won;t tell me about it! lol
I'm taking an IELTS exam next week for the visa. He said I should still do it. I asked why since the engagement and wedding is canceled and the visa may not happen anyways. But he told me to stop thinking ahead and just do the exam.(i know Im annoying sometimes )
Anyways, he said we're not okay but getting better. But we still chat everyday like a normal couple and even has plans to tour around when he comes to Philippines next. I'm just here trying not to overthink and hopeful that everything will turn out okay. And that we will be able to discuss and workout our relationship.
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