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    Naval Academy Girlfriend

    I'm super new at this. At first, when Gabe, my boyfriend of almost 9 incredible months, told me he was seriously considering joining the Naval Academy, I didn't know what to think- he never struck me as that kind of person. Gabe was always smart, always interested in studying medicine, and loved socializing and being a happy, carefree member of our school and my life; I knew he had strong morals, and I know that he truly feels at home at USNA ever since he did Summer Seminar there, but, it's been hard to accept. He was deciding between USNA and Boston College when he chose Navy, and I was so upset. Of course, I want whatever is best for him, and I want him to prosper and do something that he loves with his life while helping people, but, it's hard to wrap my mind around sometimes. We both agreed that we wanted this relationship to continue, and that we want to grow together and love each other for as long as we can. our communication skills are strong, and we've never fought about anything- we always talk it out and compromise. I know that we have such a strong love and something that a lot of people could only dream of, but, this is both of our first major relationships, and we're extremely scared that something will go wrong along the way. As of today, we have around 37 days before he leaves for his Plebe Summer, and we were devastated to find out I would be away for Parent Weekend, where I would have been able to see him. This is harder than I could have ever imagined, and he hasn't even left yet. I'm so scared of dealing with the distance, but I know that I will never give up on him, and he will never give up on me. I am so in love with him, but I'm scared that the lack of communication (he says that typically he can only call me maybe once a week at USNA) will drift us apart. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a S/Oat the Naval Academy and how to better your communication skills while they're there?

    #2
    I'm dating a guy at the Air Force Academy! My boyfriend and I have been inseparable since 9th grade, so when he received his acceptance letter from USAFA, I had bittersweet emotions. Everything about the military lifestyle seemed so new and threatening to me. I was worried about us having limited communication, worried about him being yelled at and going through such tough training, but most of all, I was worried that the academy would change him into someone I would no longer recognize as the boy I had come to love. I looked at a lot of forums and tried to find anyone else in my situation, but I mostly felt alone and discouraged because a lot of people just assumed that we would break up over the course of the next year as most academy couples do. And yet, a year has passed, and our relationship is stronger than ever. The truth is that long distance relationships are hard for everyone, but they can also strengthen a relationship in a short period of time like nothing else can. LDRs force you to come to terms with the relationship and decide if it's worth it. It will be hard, but if it becomes hard because you feel unfulfilled by the relationship or you lose feelings for the other person, it might mean that you're better off without the relationship, and by that time you'll probably be emotionally ready to end it. If it's hard because you still love and miss the other person day after day, you know that the relationship is worth the struggle.
    When my bf left for basic cadet training, I kind of slipped into a sulking depression for a few days, but I wrote him a lot, and trust me, your bf will treasure every one of those letters because it's the only thing they have to hold onto from the world outside the academy. The best thing for my sanity during this past year has been to keep busy with worthwhile things that give my life purpose and meaning. It could be anything really (working, going to school, reading, volunteering etc.), but I found that I was the most depressed with the situation when I had nothing to do but think about him. Filling your life with things you are passionate about also gives you something to talk about with him. He'll share his experiences with you, and you'll share yours with him. Basic training was super hard, and for a month or so after that we could only talk about once or twice a week, but once the school year started, we tried to talk every day. It will probably be the hardest on him to make time for talking because the academy keeps them super busy, but you'll both have to make sacrifices in order to keep your communication up. There will be times (especially during the first year) when he won't be able to talk or maybe promised to talk but was pulled into some training at the last minute, and that will be hard on you, but it's important to be understanding because cadets are already under a ton of stress.
    They get 3 weeks of leave each summer, a spring break, Thanksgiving break, and Christmas break. My bf just finished his summer leave and headed back to the academy. You'll treasure every moment you have together more than ever before, and that's honestly a beautiful thing. My bf just started a summer survival training, so we won't be able to talk for a week, but we decided that we'll have a virtual movie date watching Moana on Netflix while Facetiming each other when he comes back, haha. Best of luck with your LDR, and I know I don't know you, but I'll keep you in my prayers these next few weeks as your bf heads off to basic training because I know how hard it was for me. If you have any questions at all, let me know because I would absolutely love to help you out with what I can! It's nice to hear from another academy girlfriend!

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      #3
      thank you so much for replying with such incredible advice! I dropped Gabe off for Plebe Summer around three days ago, and I will admit I was a little but of a mess, but this truly helped. We also had a nice conversation regarding our communication and he told me that he was misinformed! We'll probably be able to speak almost every day and I'm so grateful for that. I'm still worried about hin because he's aiming to get into the Medical Corps program there and I know that the pressure to maintain a 3.7-3.9 gpa is going to be so stressful, and he doesn't really want to do anything else military besides being a doctor. I'm concerned about him in the long run with that kind of commitment if he isn't 100% certain he can make it, but I have faith that'll he can do whatever he sets his mind to!! You don't know how great it is to have somebody who is in a similar situation; it's lonely for the summer without him and I might not see him before we celebrate our one year anniversary, but I'm glad to have been able to talk to someone like you who knows what I'm going through!! I would love to keep in touch if you would like! Thank you again for everything, you've helped make this process more achievable and less daunting.

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        #4
        Hi friends,

        I know this is from a few months ago but was just reading it because i am in a very similar situation. My SO starting training with the Royal Navy at BRNC, the British equivalent USNA. It can be a bit tough at times, but we are good at communicating from a distance as he lived in South East Asia for a lot of our friendship. Just wondering how things are going for you both?

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by shrivelledshrimp55 View Post
          Hi friends,

          I know this is from a few months ago but was just reading it because i am in a very similar situation. My SO starting training with the Royal Navy at BRNC, the British equivalent USNA. It can be a bit tough at times, but we are good at communicating from a distance as he lived in South East Asia for a lot of our friendship. Just wondering how things are going for you both?

          Actually, Gabe and I recently decided to take a little bit of a break (this was about three weeks ago). Frankly it sucks, but we had both agreed before he left if one of us felt like we needed time we would take it. However, when we decided this we both agreed we didn't want it to be permanent, really only until he gets a hang of the school, a feel for the lifestyle, etc. Also, I'm not 18 and I'm not in college, and I'll hopefully be going to school only a couple hours away from him via car drive, so there's that. I personally think the break is a healthy thing and I don't think that this means you shouldn't have hope for you and our S/O! If you're already good at communicating, then you should be alright. This as just a very new concept for us and we're struggling a bit at making it work. Don't give up though! In the end, they're worth it.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by kitkatchristina View Post
            I'm dating a guy at the Air Force Academy! My boyfriend and I have been inseparable since 9th grade, so when he received his acceptance letter from USAFA, I had bittersweet emotions. Everything about the military lifestyle seemed so new and threatening to me. I was worried about us having limited communication, worried about him being yelled at and going through such tough training, but most of all, I was worried that the academy would change him into someone I would no longer recognize as the boy I had come to love. I looked at a lot of forums and tried to find anyone else in my situation, but I mostly felt alone and discouraged because a lot of people just assumed that we would break up over the course of the next year as most academy couples do. And yet, a year has passed, and our relationship is stronger than ever. The truth is that long distance relationships are hard for everyone, but they can also strengthen a relationship in a short period of time like nothing else can. LDRs force you to come to terms with the relationship and decide if it's worth it. It will be hard, but if it becomes hard because you feel unfulfilled by the relationship or you lose feelings for the other person, it might mean that you're better off without the relationship, and by that time you'll probably be emotionally ready to end it. If it's hard because you still love and miss the other person day after day, you know that the relationship is worth the struggle.
            When my bf left for basic cadet training, I kind of slipped into a sulking depression for a few days, but I wrote him a lot, and trust me, your bf will treasure every one of those letters because it's the only thing they have to hold onto from the world outside the academy. The best thing for my sanity during this past year has been to keep busy with worthwhile things that give my life purpose and meaning. It could be anything really (working, going to school, reading, volunteering etc.), but I found that I was the most depressed with the situation when I had nothing to do but think about him. Filling your life with things you are passionate about also gives you something to talk about with him. He'll share his experiences with you, and you'll share yours with him. Basic training was super hard, and for a month or so after that we could only talk about once or twice a week, but once the school year started, we tried to talk every day. It will probably be the hardest on him to make time for talking because the academy keeps them super busy, but you'll both have to make sacrifices in order to keep your communication up. There will be times (especially during the first year) when he won't be able to talk or maybe promised to talk but was pulled into some training at the last minute, and that will be hard on you, but it's important to be understanding because cadets are already under a ton of stress.
            They get 3 weeks of leave each summer, a spring break, Thanksgiving break, and Christmas break. My bf just finished his summer leave and headed back to the academy. You'll treasure every moment you have together more than ever before, and that's honestly a beautiful thing. My bf just started a summer survival training, so we won't be able to talk for a week, but we decided that we'll have a virtual movie date watching Moana on Netflix while Facetiming each other when he comes back, haha. Best of luck with your LDR, and I know I don't know you, but I'll keep you in my prayers these next few weeks as your bf heads off to basic training because I know how hard it was for me. If you have any questions at all, let me know because I would absolutely love to help you out with what I can! It's nice to hear from another academy girlfriend!

            Hey I am currently in the same boat and looking for girls like me to talk to, would you be willing to? My boyfriend just started his plebe year at USMMA.

            Comment


              #7
              I would suggest giving him a small picture of you, perhaps a Polaroid picture or digital print out that might help ease the distance between the both of you. It’s surprising how well having a picture of your distanced loved one helps in feeling closer to them! Believe me I know, keeping a few Polaroid pictures of my gf and I in my wallet really help when the distance is starting to get to me. You and Gabe seem to have a pretty understanding and loving relationship with each other so I believe you and him will be just fine! Best of luck!

              Comment


                #8
                I know I'm bringing this years old thread back, but my boyfriend of 9 months is joining BRNC in the May intake and I'm terrified! We've been long distance for most of the relationship already as I'm at uni in London whilst he lives near Liverpool, but we still manage to see each other every 3 weeks or so for a long weekend but I know this will change once he gets to Dartmouth... How did you find the initial weeks?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi,

                  My significant other is going to the Naval Academy next year and I don’t know how to feel, I love him with my whole being but it’s going to hurt so much when he has to go and I won’t be able to talk to the sweet pea and my heart hurts and we still have a year before he goes. I don’t know what to do because I know he will excel there and will be happy and I want what’s best for him. I guess it just hurts already

                  Comment

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