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How do you say goodbye? :(

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    How do you say goodbye? :(

    I've been with my boyfriend for over three years and this is the first time we've met..
    We're spending two perfect weeks together and it's almost time for me to go back home.. I have no idea how to handle it, I'm dealing with depression and anxiety and I know it'll be a lot worse from the moment i leave, I don't know what to do.. How do I make this goodbye and our time apart easier for the both of us? I really want to stay strong for him because I know he's going to be really upset and I don't want to make things even worse.. Any advice? How do you make goodbyes and your time apart easier for the both of you? Any advice will be super helpful and is welcome

    #2
    I don't have the kind of advice perhaps you're looking for, but as someone who has depression too and is dreading the same thing when my SO and I meet for the first time, I would say that your mentality to the situation will strongly influence how badly you take the goodbyes. You have to stay positive and distract yourself, give yourself a day or two to cry or be unhappy, then refocus yourself and get back on track with your life. Someone once told me the worst obstacles you will face come from your own mind... and with depression/anxiety issues it can be sometimes worse than otherwise. You can overcome them if you try hard enough.

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      #3
      People deal with goodbyes in different ways.

      For us, I know he gets really upset watching me be upset. He sees it as his job to keep me happy and safe, and his heart breaks knowing I hurt and he cant do anything about it.

      I cant tell you what will work for you, because everyone is different, but for us, we talk maybe a little bit about it a few days before I leave him. On the day before we try to have some kind of celebration, and to keep things light. The day I leave there might be a tear in my eye but I will hold it down. SO is very weird about it, he will just throw up the day I leave or the day before. We dont talk about it, we know we will miss each other and we dont have to say. Then I am usually very focused on leaving and the journey. I might cry on the plane, or just sleep. I keep my journal with me so I will often journal. If I have internet on the plane or airport I will text him or we might have a last minute phone call (I love it when he calls me just before my plane leaves).

      Then when I get home I will be very tired, both from the travel and from having to miss him. I focus on eating. I allow myself to relax one day. We are in touch but only a little - he will be very tired too (we stay up half the night when I am there, due to his work hours). Then after a few days we will be in touch more, and start to send pictures and such. We might talk a little about planning the next visit, if we can.

      But you know, on my first trip to visit him (my second time meeting him), when I left and stepped past security I was so sad that I could not see him anymore. I felt like my whole world was crumbling. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy lol And the moth after was a bit hard, because he was clumsy about keeping in touch. But everything gets better in time

      Remember that when you get home, you need to focus on your life there to prepare for the rest of your future, whatever that may be You are going to do great! Eat and drink a lot on your travel, even if you dont feel like it, that will keep you strong.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        It's never easy for any of us, that's for sure.
        I've heard so many say on here, and we did this ourselves, try and at least plan an approximate date of when you'll see each other next. We were able to book his trip out here and we did this on the final morning I was with him. Certainly makes it so much easier.

        Best,
        Met Online: 1998
        Relationship began: January 2017

        FIRST MEETING: June 2017
        SECOND MEETING: October 2017

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