I'm nervous to see my long distance boyfriend

[meronpanchan]

I've been dating my bf for 2 years. He went back to his country last year and I visited him this February for 2 weeks which was amazing. He's sweet, kind, cute and I feel comfortable when we're together.

However, after I came back, I felt so down because I didn't wanna leave him. Then I started having doubts like "Do I really love him?" and feeling depressed all the time like I've never been happy. I couldn't feel the love as much as before. I couldn't sleep well and I was unsure of everything.

I feel better now since I've been seeing my counselor but I feel like something's different, I feel distant and numb. His behaviors irritate me sometimes. I feel sad when I see the pics of us. It scares me because I love him and I want to make it work.

I couldn't stand feeling this way so I booked the tickets to see him next month.
I'm anxious more than excited.
What if I fell out of love with this great guy!?
What if I couldn't feel anything when he hugged me and kissed me!?
What if we couldn't have fun together like before!?
Ah I can't remember how nice it was like to be like together!
Is everything gonna be ok?
Is it normal to have these anxious thoughts? Or it means I don't love him enough?

[mjbf35018]

Hello! My partner and I have been in a relationship for 9 months and I have most definitely felt similar to you a few times. He and I are lucky in that we are able to see each other about once a month, and every time I've made the trip to see him or he's made the trip to see me, I get nervous like never before! When you're in a long distance relationship, you don't get the liberty of seeing your partner very often and since the face to face meetings are so seldom, there's always a question in my mind about what has changed since I've seen him last. Will we be able to relate to one another? Has he changed at all? Will I still find his bad habits charming, or will they bother me? There's a whole lot of uncertainty...in essence, every in-person date with my partner is like the very first date all over again!

My nerves, however, never come from a place of dread. Personally, I think it's okay to be nervous or worried when seeing your partner again after a long time apart, but if you aren't looking forward to the experience, that may be a red flag. I would recomend starting out by analyzing your concerns...why do you feel sad when looking at his pictures? What is it about him that bothers you? Then, when you meet again in-person, you can take stock of how things are. It's a very strong possibility that much of your worries are simply distance coming into play...you miss your partner and are trying to make sense of your emotions when your partner can't be there to make sense of them with you. If you truly love your partner and want to stick it out, then try to use this trip as a springboard. Communicate with your partner and see how they feel about your emotions. Then you can brainstorm possible solutions.
If you truly feel the spark is no longer there when you meet again, then you can move onto considering whether or not your heart is still in the relationship. But, I wonder if most of your snese of dread is simply your mind trying to figure out how to cope.
I hope this helps!