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He lose feelings but still want to make it work but unsure what to do

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    He lose feelings but still want to make it work but unsure what to do

    Background story:

    I'm a girl living in USA and met a guy from Netherlands from an online game. I knew him from a guy friend that I knew from the same game and that friend lives 20 min from this guy and r good friends. We started talking on June 17 and found out we have so much in common and very eager to talk to each other that we started to mess up our sleeping time (he's 8 hours ahead of me). We decided to take this to Skype, he said he only have 30 min but we ended up talking for 2 hours. On July 11, he finally admitted he likes me. I was so happy and we started dating.

    Everything went great until he departed for China for 6 weeks starting from July 19. The wifi is so bad there, and it kinda affected our communication badly and we missed each other terribly it stressed us out(he also have other stress, his mom bad health and family lawcase at that time). On Aug 11, he said his feelings not as strong as before lately and only see me as best friend now. But he still wants to make it work, but no idea what to do. I suggested space, but he said he doesnt want it if it means less talk. Maybe he has so much going on atm and the fact we have not met in real life? We plan a trip and and so much issue going on : He cant make it on time due to being stuck in an airport due to typhoon in Hongkong days ago, and he cant tag with his mother to USA on aug 26 in time and hv to stay home. He was so disappointed as he said he really need this to boost the relationship and to finally give him the idea if this relationsthip and distance is worth fighting for (he has so much shit going on as well and stresses him out so much). So when he cant make it, he was so upset. But then I suggested to visit Netherlands in november, but he said it might be during exam week and he want to give all his time to me if i ever come to him. So he suggested december to visit me in USA and will ask his mother about it. I suggested that I will come to europe instead and we perhaps can travel around europe together and we settled on the date of Dec 26 to Jan 7. Im not sure but can we bring back the chemistry? We fell for each other since that 2h skype, so perhaps meeting irl would be pretty much the same?

    How to maintain our "unclear" relationship until december (since he said he only see me as a good friend for now)? Lately he's kinda not into talking, but he called sometimes. Does he really love me or mistaken it for love? Maybe we rushed too much? He also stop calling me love.. he doesnt wanna hurt my feels but want to be honest. Idk what to do... it's 4 months away and Im not sure if i can stay strong until december... My friends told me he still love me but the stress blinded him, and he's prolly too occupied with his issues to concern about love issue for now. What should i do to improve the relationship until our meeting? And how can i find out if he still loves me, if there's any way to find out? Thanks! Any help would be soooo much appreciated xoxoxo

    #2
    Wow, our stories are so similar! I met my bf on an online game too. We also happen to be a USA - Netherlands relationship. ^^
    He should be clear about it, and maybe you should ask him about the status of your relationship?
    Maybe another call too? It just seems so sudden that he would confess his feelings, but then just a month afterwards only views you as a friend.
    I mean, that he went to China is something too..


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      #3
      I did ask about it, but he himself doesnt hv the answer either, he asked some of our friends for advice as well. I know life has been dragging him down recently, but also he tried to make it work. He's also being honest about stuff. Perhaps the infatuation is over now and he's facing the real challenge of long distance... I dont know...

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        #4
        I know it might be quite personal, but how is life dragging him down?
        I wouldn't think the.. "infatuation" of long distance wears off, because... you fall in love for other reasons when you meet someone online.


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          #5
          His mom's health deteriorating, and she's a single mom... his deceased father's assets are somehow being snatched away from him by his father's brothers.

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            #6
            That sounds horrible. I'm sure you've showed support in his hardships. Talk to him, communicate your feelings to him and maybe arrange a time to Skype together soon.


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              #7
              Thats what Im trying to do atm, but thanks I just hope all stays strong and remains the same until December meetup... gosh 4months

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                #8
                When everything you thought was certain in your life starts to crumble, it's easy to doubt everything--yourself, others, and even your feelings for others. It's easy to think things will never work out, so why even bother. Maybe he's doubting his ability to not let you down. My advice would just be to stay by his side to show him there's no need to doubt his ability to make you happy, and that his feelings for you and yours for him do exist even from miles away. If he does decide in the end that he really did lose his feelings for you, at least you will know you did your part and it just wasn't meant to be. (That sounds so callous, I'm sorry. :/) I wish you all the very best and keep us updated!
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                  #9
                  Originally posted by quinryder View Post
                  Thats what Im trying to do atm, but thanks I just hope all stays strong and remains the same until December meetup... gosh 4months
                  I'm wishing you all the luck and strength for your relationship trials. Here's hoping your first meetup is a good one.


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