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Looking back on a 29 day visit

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    Looking back on a 29 day visit

    We had originally planned ML's visit to start in the end of June and go through August. A variety of circumstances delayed her making the trip, and I visited her at her home for a weekend at that time, and left unsure that we could pull it off this summer. Then as things started shaping up, she was able to commit to a job in August here. She booked her ticket, and arrived July 30.

    Now things here had gotten complicated with my boss falling ill and spending an extended time in the hospital. We had planned on doing a trip as a paid cooking team into the mountains of Wyoming on the way home for her. With my bosses health at that time questionable, I cancelled that gig, and ML extended her time with the local employer.

    Over the next 29 days she worked 4 days a week while I continued my usual 5 1/2 day a week career. She stayed with me in my house, and when my children stayed with me we had 4 people there. It was an exciting time as my children had 2 weeks of exhibiting at the county fair, my parents next door hosted my mothers siblings for more than a few days, culminating in a 3 generation BBQ the weekend after the fair, and I had commitments to coach a running group every Sunday morning.


    Fitting in with the Family

    ML was her happy and gregarious self with my parents, and seemed to really get along well with my mother, even though my Mom is still quite close with my first wife. They actually kinda seemed to bond a little bit, even though my mother is much more introverted than ML. I was a little worried that my mother would be standoffish, but she really seemed to make an effort.

    The first thing ML did was show my mother all her lacy delicates drying in the bathroom on the shower rod and every towel rack in the bathroom, since I did not have a clothes line or drying rack (as a guy I never NEEDED one). They had a good laugh at my expense. I bought her a drying rack the next day. ML was able to help my mother prepare for the incoming family by cooking and her Italian heritage shone in that arena.

    Meeting the Ex wife

    Four days after arriving, ML met my first wife at the fair as we were headed to the horse races. She was seated with our children outside the exhibition area as we walked by. My kids had met ML and were staying at my house the night previous. We were dressed above average since it was "Ladies Hat Day", and ML looked HOT. I introduced all the kids friends and my ex. She just gave a nod and never smiled....Which is her typical response with people. No major blowup. I'm calling it a win. We still had a great day at the races.

    Weekend Adventures

    Over the next couple of weeks I took ML to her first rodeo, she was on hand and assisted my committee for the Team Sorting Contest the next morning. Then she accompanied my youngest daughter mother and I to my nephew's birthday at a lake 2 hours drive away. ML really bonded with my youngest daughter playing card games on the trip, and my mother got to see how good she was with kids. My sisters met her for the first time, and she fit in great with their kids. Incidentally my youngest sister's 4 and 2 yo always seemed to annoy my first wife, while ML just loved them. Another good sign.

    The next weekend our running group traveled to the coast for an overnight camping trip and training run. It was a romantic drive up the coast, complete with sunset and stargazing during a meteor shower on a rare clear night on the coast. ML got to know my running group and we cooked them breakfast after our Sunday morning run.

    The third weekend was the weekend of the family party. This side of the family really didn't know my first wife so there was no feeling of awkwardness. Heck one of my uncles had not been in the States in nearly 20 years. He probably didn't know the difference.

    The fourth weekend I booked a couple inflatable kayaks for Sunday afternoon and we floated/paddled 3 miles down the river and picnicked along the way. We did that after a morning training run and it was a long, but enjoyable day.

    In between all these "dates" I remember most fondly some of the "moments" of everyday life during those days.
    • Waking up to my horse nickering and looking at us through my bedroom patio door. (He got quite an eye full some mornings)
    • Cooking together, shopping together, cleaning the house together, watching about 2.5 hours of television total the ENTIRE month.
    • Watching her captivate my work colleagues with her outgoing personality. My bosses even mentioned it in conversation days later.
    • Looking out the kitchen door to see ML jumping on the trampoline laughing and giggling with my youngest daughter.
    • Meeting each other at the door, after work, with a cold cocktail or beer when one of us arrived home earlier.
    • Watching her engage with my teenager who seems to try to be minimally communicative. She drew her out of her shell more than any one else has.
    • Walking around the ranch and making me appreciate things I took for granted
    • Seeing the joy in her face as she petted my horse, and later rode him
    • Spending hours of windshield time together in the car just talking.
    • Feeling like a family when we all sat down to a home cooked meal we'd all assisted with. My kids even arranged flowers in the kitchen and on the dining room table.


    Tuesday morning I drove ML to the airport. Earlier I'd booked round trip tickets for the end of September for a weekend in the Northwest. So we have started the countdown to next time. We are already plotting Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. Having that plan makes me happy despite the distance.

    #2
    Congratulations! It sounds like you had a lovely visit. Quite the dream.

    Keep us posted on how thing continue to go!

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      #3
      I'm going to continue the Visit Reports just to remind myself how good it is when we do get together.

      Sept 23rd: I had a Trail race that Saturday morning and jumped on a plane that evening. We had a quick 36 hour visit. So quick we never even took a photo together. Highlights were breakfast with her kids at a local restaurant on Sunday morning. I got to meet her new Labrador retriever, Bogey. We attended a film screening of Cinema Twain introduced by Val Kilmer.
      We also visited a couple of my cousins whom I'd not seen in years who lived nearby.

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        #4
        Early Halloween. October 27

        This time, she came to me. I picked her up on Friday night at the airport. I'd taken Saturday off, and took my youngest daughter with us to a cemetery tour with historical reenactors presenting in the morning and then had a nice lunch and walk around downtown. It really felt like a nice family moment. That evening we each put on our high school letterman jackets and went to a local restaurant's Halloween party dressed as High school sweethearts. My Visor with "Flair Hair" had people doing double takes since I shave my scalp....We danced most of the night to a live band.




        Sunday, ML and my daughter baked in the kitchen, dancing to the radio. It "made my heart smile" to use one of ML's Terms.

        we attended a party for my running group before we drove to the airport. ML had worked with a few of them this summer, and they enjoyed the reunion. I bid her goodbye That night at the airport with plans to see her again in November.

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          #5
          November's visit over the Veterans day holiday was a 6 day "staycation" in and around ML's Hometown. Her daughter was performing in a Symphony concert on Sunday. That put a crimp in the long weekend I'd had planned in a cabin near the Canadian border. But we were able to make a quick dash up there for an afternoon, visit my college buddy who owned the cabin, spend the night, see the border crossing, hustle back in time to watch the Symphony performance, and fix dinner for the kids and ML's mother on Sunday. It was a great feeling when ML's daughter came out on stage that she looked at us in the audience , made eye contact and smiled. it was a lot of driving in 24 hours, but we really cherished the windshield time together driving and talking.

          Monday we lazed around the house most of the day until ML had a hair appointment and I went to her mothers house to help prepare dinner for ML's two uncles. It was my first time meeting them and they said i grilled the steaks perfectly. I even was trusted with picking her son up from practice. I don't take that lightly, and really feel like i've been accepted by her family.
          ML joined us looking absolutely fabulous and we did some dishes cleanup, served dessert and headed "home" for the night.

          Tuesday morning I expressed a desire to do some "Honey do's" around the house. So I spent the morning raking leaves and we did a run to the dump. It was on the return from the dump that ML suggested we visit the local Farm supply/Clothing store. I was interested in their operation and she used the opportunity to con me into trying on some different style jeans than I usually wear. I begrudgingly accepted a different style than I usually wear, and she ooohed and awwwwed of them on me and promptly bought them for me.

          That night we parked at one of her places of work and I met a couple of her colleagues before we walked to a local steak house for appetizers and drinks before the concert. The Concert was huge, and exciting and really worth the ticket price. I don't usually do big venue shows but this one was worth it.



          Wednesday was another lazy day until we had to get me to the airport, and she had to get to work that afternoon. As we parted we reminded each other that we had the Christmas Holiday coming up....
          Last edited by 2Rocky; November 22, 2017, 03:51 PM.

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            #6
            Looks Like I've Let things go...

            This will be a place holder for the Christmas and New Years Visit.

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              #7
              This is the place holder for the Early Valentines trip to San Diego.

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                #8
                You look great together!
                and your trips sound awesome!

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                  #9
                  OK looks like the post editing expires...I'll Summarize what I can..

                  Christmas and new years Took Our kids 2 of hers and 2 of mine to San Francisco for a day. Had lunch in Chinatown. Her son and My Daughter discovered they were both big Warriors basketball fans. She borrowed a car and spent Christmas with her sisters 2.5 hours away, her kids went to their Dad's after. She returned for 4 days around New Years and we spent the time at the coast in my cousin's house.



                  San Diego 2/10 - 2/13- Met her at the airport as she got off her first leg and flew together to SD. I had a trade show in the morning. That evening we had a nice seafood dinner, then the next day explored Coronado Island and kayaked in the Bay.




                  In the beginning of April, I travelled to her home and we celebrated our birthdays together with her friends and family. A Spring snow storm scuttled our plans for a camping yurt weekend. So I did yard work at her home...in a quick 48 hour trip.

                  We had planned for a 3 day weekend last weekend (May 17-20), but she had a colleague who needed her to take over a project, and her part time evening job needed her to cover as well, so that plan was scuttled despite having tickets bought. Her full time job is out for the summer in the Middle of June.

                  Our next opportunity is the end of June. She has a 2 month job with my friend again. So I'm looking at another 30 day additional wait on top of the 48 days it has been already. She is really having a hard time feeling burnout from 2 jobs and I hear about it EVERY time we talk.

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                    #10
                    Happy looking couple right there! You got to get her to move to NorCal

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