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Sooo.. We both can't move..

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    #16
    I wish I could stop focusing on the distant future (unintentional pun!) and just focus on the visit that's ahead of us in roughly a year. Maybe everything will just fall into place after being in one another's physical presence? I don't know if that is a wise way of thinking, or a dangerous one. I have a need to know what will be in the years to come, not just the near future. Maybe I should just try to cool it a bit (it being my overthinking mind) and concentrate on the visit & forget about the distant future for a while. I don't know. Now I'm saying silly things when I'm supposed to be washing the dishes. Ha.

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      #17
      Originally posted by iHippie View Post
      There MUST be a way around this. He's irreplaceable. I'm not giving up just yet.
      May be I say something stupid... but so far I have only seen you write what cannot be done. Is there any way you both can look at what can be done? I'm not familiair with anything in Australia, but it's just a thought...
      Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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        #18
        Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
        May be I say something stupid... but so far I have only seen you write what cannot be done. Is there any way you both can look at what can be done? I'm not familiair with anything in Australia, but it's just a thought...
        Hi Erwin I think I mentioned in an earlier comment that we can get married. We can do this and then resume our lives in our respective states. I've checked with the marriage department of our government and this is a possibility.

        Also, we can visit twice each year, if to do so is within our means financially

        These things are well and good, but the downfall is that my SO isn't happy to live apart forever. Which is understandable, of course.

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          #19
          You're right, you wrote that.
          I'm sorry
          Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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            #20
            Hold strong we all go through our bumps in the road and have days/moments where it all seems too much and that it's useless. When you feel like that, imagine when it would be like not having that person in your life at all. I find that helps me to appreciate how lucky I am. Feel free to talk if you need, we all have those days and the support of this forum makes it a lot easier

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              #21
              I agree with Red. I was on other forums but no one understands long distance relationships like those going through it. This forum has been the best for me, everyone understands exactly.

              It still baffles my mind that I can love someone this way!

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                #22
                There is absolutely no treatment for his health issues anywhere near you? Does he have an extremely rare issue? It seems like an unusual block to moving...
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                  #23
                  Originally posted by autumn1790 View Post
                  There is absolutely no treatment for his health issues anywhere near you? Does he have an extremely rare issue? It seems like an unusual block to moving...
                  It isn't just health issues that prevents him from moving, there are some other reasons. I'd rather not discuss his personal things too much though, out of respect. It would not be good for him to move here. Even I know that, as much as I'd love him to relocate here. He'd be moving if he could

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                    #24
                    I am in a similar situation with regard to moving. We are six years together but only two and a half hours distant in the UK. He has three boys the youngest is twelve. I have three girls the youngest is 15. We both know we can't leave our children now it wouldn't be fair on them but hope in time we will reach a solution. I often think that I can't do this much longer it hurts too much and then we have a great weekend together and the status quo resumes.

                    The longer you are together the harder it is to continue living apart. I too am sick of an empty bed and always being the singleton. I would not end the relationship because I think you can always find a workaround if you try whether it's temporary or permanent. Never say never! I couldn't contemplate splitting now after all the years of hard work and tons of emotion having gone into making it work. We are getting older 55 and 53 and want some time after raising our kids to have fun together before we are too old.

                    My advice is to keep an open mind - things do change which make life easier. I wish you the very best x

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                      #25
                      That’s so rough, I’m in the same boat! I have six kids and he has the most amazing career in the world so we are stuck in that same place 😑

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by strongheart View Post
                        I am in a similar situation with regard to moving. We are six years together but only two and a half hours distant in the UK. He has three boys the youngest is twelve. I have three girls the youngest is 15. We both know we can't leave our children now it wouldn't be fair on them but hope in time we will reach a solution. I often think that I can't do this much longer it hurts too much and then we have a great weekend together and the status quo resumes.

                        The longer you are together the harder it is to continue living apart. I too am sick of an empty bed and always being the singleton. I would not end the relationship because I think you can always find a workaround if you try whether it's temporary or permanent. Never say never! I couldn't contemplate splitting now after all the years of hard work and tons of emotion having gone into making it work. We are getting older 55 and 53 and want some time after raising our kids to have fun together before we are too old.

                        My advice is to keep an open mind - things do change which make life easier. I wish you the very best x
                        I hear you about the empty bed and not quitting after all the years of build up on that special person. I told myself that if this didn't work, I would resign myself to being forever single. My mom is doing that very thing right now but I really don't want that. I love who I am with right now and wouldn't want to change it. Just for us to do things together like we did when he visited. I didn't get much sleep( he has some issues that I had to get used to) but I felt like I was finally married again. Oh well, hopefully we both live long enough to enjoy more outings in the future. Thank you guys for talking about this x
                        LeoJ

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                          #27
                          I completely understand. My SO has a daughter in the state that he lives in, and is having a hard time moving here. He said before court that it didn't matter the outcome he would still be coming back home. That happens to not be the case anymore. Now he wants me to move to him but I am running two businesses which I have literally worked my entire life for. So I don't see where either of us can move until his daughter is old enough to say she doesn't want to be with mom any more.. mom is very toxic.
                          That could be years and he doesn't feel that he can wait years.
                          I hope you're able to figure things out. I wish you the best of luck!

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