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Cold feet before buying plane ticket/booking hotel?!

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    Cold feet before buying plane ticket/booking hotel?!

    Me (F19, USA) and my SO (M17, Germany) are nevermets and have known that we'd be able to meet this December since about August but there were some complications/planning to do before officially booking the flight and hotel room. I easily got my parents on board as soon as they found out I'd be paying for it, his parents on the other hand have been a bit back and forth with whether or not they would allow him to travel by himself to a foreign country (even though he's been here before on a foreign exchange program) Like we'll get word that they're okay with it and then something will come up or a concern will come up that will make them second guess it - then once we figure out a solution they'll be okay with it again. It's finally time to book here in the next week or so and I'm just really nervous about the whole thing. I've never done anything like this before and I'm just super paranoid that I'll purchase the plane ticket and book the hotel now (3 months in advance) and something will happen from now to December. Like his parents change their mind, he gets sick, something happens between us - causing me to lose a couple thousand dollars that I've saved up from my shitty part-time job. I'm also very nervous about him not liking me as much in person, or that things will be different. Don't get me wrong, I have no doubts about him or us. We are coming up on 5 months together, known each other for 6 months and we have amazing communication/chemistry. I've never been so close to someone in my life. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. We Skype and text constantly, and he's even met my family. It's just me being and over thinker/worrier but these are some things I've thought about. Did anyone else have these second thoughts/doubts when booking a trip to go see their SO or flying their SO other over to meet for the first time? I'm just really nervous and any advice or sharing your personal experiences would be really helpful.

    #2
    So this is actually a pretty easy problem to deal with. Most hotels don't require you to give them three months notice. So don't reserve anything until his flight ticket is booked.

    A lot of hotels have a free cancellation policy, just pick a hotel that has one and you won't have to pay a dime. (You usally just give them a credit card to put on file when making the reservation and then don't pay until you get there.

    By the way, it's nice to see another German-American couple on here. I'm from Germany, my SO is from Kansas!

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      #3
      Originally posted by Caro1 View Post
      By the way, it's nice to see another German-American couple on here. I'm from Germany, my SO is from Kansas!
      That is actually so crazy! I live in Kansas City, Missouri which is only about 30 minutes away from Kansas and I see on your info that you're from Cologne, Germany and my SO actually lives about 40 minutes away from there. Small world, huh? But thank you so much for the advice!!!

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        #4
        Originally posted by sarahendipity View Post
        That is actually so crazy! I live in Kansas City, Missouri which is only about 30 minutes away from Kansas and I see on your info that you're from Cologne, Germany and my SO actually lives about 40 minutes away from there. Small world, huh? But thank you so much for the advice!!!
        My SO actually works in KCMO. I've spent a lot of time there! We are acutually working on closing the distance and I would be moving there. Hopefully next year, if everything with the visa and all works out!

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          #5
          Oh wow, that's so cool! Happy to hear a couple similar in distance to me can make it work. It really gives me hope. Congratulations on closing the distance soon though!

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            #6
            Sorry if I missed it but where are you meeting? Is there anyway that you meet where you are so you don’t even need to fly somewhere? Maybe just drive?

            Also maybe buy insurance so you can get a refund if you don’t end up going? It’s more expensive but it’s better than just losing all of what you paid.

            Are you the one buying his ticket?
            Last edited by Reyhoney; September 27, 2017, 09:22 AM.

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              #7
              And about meeting and not liking each other, I also have those doubts and it’s so possible you wouldn’t, but it’s unlikely in my opinion. After 6 months and feeling like the both of you really like each other, that’s like 80% of the battle won there, meeting would only intensify this cause it will be physical, the physical aspect, that’s the really easy part cause it’s just easier to do! You know what I mean? It’s more one on one interactions, more smelling, touching, hugging, kissing, etc!

              Thinking about local online dates I’ve been on, I’ve always liked the guys I REALLY liked with Just texts and calls when I met them, compared to the guys I mildly liked through texts when I met them.

              I think the chemistry will translate to be honest.

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