Reintroduction...starting all over.
I'm not actually a stranger to the forum, although I practically am with how long I've been off it. Two years ago, I was in a very serious long distance relationship with someone I truly believed that I would marry. A few rumors, a lie, and heartbreaks later...that relationship didn't end well. I was very foolish and naive, but also very young (17). I foolishly got engaged and thought that it would all work before even meeting him in real life. That was poor planning on my end, and that relationship helped me grow as a person. Sadly, this made me swear off long distance relationships for two years. This led to a series of unsuccessful Tinder dates and very short lived "relationships". In other words, I turned into a typical teenager that sort of dated around and had friendships that were kind of more than friendships, and situations that blurred the line, went on a few traditional dates, etc. All of this changed in April of this year.
I was shopping around on Plenty of Fish, not really thinking I'd find anyone but searching anyway. All of a sudden, I came across the profile of someone that was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Unfortunately, he also lived several miles away in New York. Okay, I guess that he was so hot that he was worth any sort of shot. Besides, I'm not conventionally attractive, what would it hurt to try? Imagine my surprise when he liked me back and replied! I was stunned that he found me attractive. I guess that's my own low self esteem speaking, but I was extremely shocked that he had that same initial attraction. He was so strong at first that I initially backed off. Also, almost immediately after we met (within around two weeks), life began to become so horrid to a magnitude that I could never imagine. I fell out with my best friend at the time, and the battle became extremely ugly. I also lost my grandfather within two weeks of that happening. That's a story for another thread...
Long story short, my connections to people were limited to only people that knew me best, and I wasn't letting anyone new in. This led to us losing contact for several months, to no fault of his own. One day in September, he posted a meme, and I decided to send him a Snapchat message. I reached out to him, thinking, "Why didn't I contact him?". Well, long story short, my life got worse after I initially contacted him. My other best friend and I had a falling out. While I was in pain, he reached out. It was the start of several months of me admitting feelings for him and being connected. I told him I didn't want to be official until we met in real life, but he already had my heart. After several ups and downs, we met in person on December 18th, 2017, where our relationship became official after seeing one another for three months. I'm from North Adams, MA, and he lives in New Paltz, NY--about a two and a half hour drive. Everything was perfect...until it all came crashing down, because he took his parents' car, unknown to them. The car in question had no insurance. His parents came and drove him back, threatening to press charges. Our week was in ruins. Since then, we've been repairing our relationship and getting things off on the right foot, and it's understood between all parties that he only did this because he liked me so much and he isn't a bad person.
Missing someone you love feels absolutely ruinous, especially now, because my instinct is telling me that I love him and I want to be beside him, no matter what. I want to hold him at the moment. However, we're making plans to ensure that everything is okay and to possibly meet up again in February. There are plans of closing the distance. I'm on this forum for support, guidance, and to connect with others that feel the same about their relationships. I truly do love him, and haven't felt this way about anyone in my life before.
If you've made it to the end of this post, I thank you.
I was shopping around on Plenty of Fish, not really thinking I'd find anyone but searching anyway. All of a sudden, I came across the profile of someone that was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Unfortunately, he also lived several miles away in New York. Okay, I guess that he was so hot that he was worth any sort of shot. Besides, I'm not conventionally attractive, what would it hurt to try? Imagine my surprise when he liked me back and replied! I was stunned that he found me attractive. I guess that's my own low self esteem speaking, but I was extremely shocked that he had that same initial attraction. He was so strong at first that I initially backed off. Also, almost immediately after we met (within around two weeks), life began to become so horrid to a magnitude that I could never imagine. I fell out with my best friend at the time, and the battle became extremely ugly. I also lost my grandfather within two weeks of that happening. That's a story for another thread...
Long story short, my connections to people were limited to only people that knew me best, and I wasn't letting anyone new in. This led to us losing contact for several months, to no fault of his own. One day in September, he posted a meme, and I decided to send him a Snapchat message. I reached out to him, thinking, "Why didn't I contact him?". Well, long story short, my life got worse after I initially contacted him. My other best friend and I had a falling out. While I was in pain, he reached out. It was the start of several months of me admitting feelings for him and being connected. I told him I didn't want to be official until we met in real life, but he already had my heart. After several ups and downs, we met in person on December 18th, 2017, where our relationship became official after seeing one another for three months. I'm from North Adams, MA, and he lives in New Paltz, NY--about a two and a half hour drive. Everything was perfect...until it all came crashing down, because he took his parents' car, unknown to them. The car in question had no insurance. His parents came and drove him back, threatening to press charges. Our week was in ruins. Since then, we've been repairing our relationship and getting things off on the right foot, and it's understood between all parties that he only did this because he liked me so much and he isn't a bad person.
Missing someone you love feels absolutely ruinous, especially now, because my instinct is telling me that I love him and I want to be beside him, no matter what. I want to hold him at the moment. However, we're making plans to ensure that everything is okay and to possibly meet up again in February. There are plans of closing the distance. I'm on this forum for support, guidance, and to connect with others that feel the same about their relationships. I truly do love him, and haven't felt this way about anyone in my life before.
If you've made it to the end of this post, I thank you.
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