Even if I saw him just 3 weeks earlier, it was SO good to see him! I just had some water at the nearby Burger King (I am always so thirsty when I fly, and the shops just sell alcohol), and as I was sitting down, he leaned in to kiss me. Everything felt just right. I felt very fine, not exhausted as from most other travels, AND my suitcase arrived with me (I had written "Don't forget me in sticker letters on it, just in case. Perhaps it worked 
), and we could just go in the transfer car. He had arranged a hotel for us, too, very close to the beach/his workplace. Even in the transfer car he was organising flat sights, my busy bee. And I was preparing for the possability of having to pay 6 months rent in advance (because that is the way the market works in his town) for whatever flat we found... a big ammount of money! To cut a very long story short, we ended up getting a flat that is really close to his work. The 6 month rent had to be payed in cash before we got the keys, and there is a cash withdrawel limit in Turkey which we were not aware of... the banks kept telling me I did not have any money, which my husband in Norway could tell me was wrong, each day we were withdrawing or lending money from somewhere, putting the money we had in the hotel safe and getting "head ace" (him) and "heart attack" (me) from all the hazzle and responsability. After 5 days we had enough, and SO was exited enough to take pictures of the money bills! We agreed that I would pay the rent, and him the electrical bills and internet. After the landlady, and her sons, and the dogs and all had dissapeared, and we sat alone in the dirty flat with cold water with our suitcases in the middle of the night (we moved right away after we got the money)....we were just happy, silent, and out of words. We spent 2 days together in the flat before I had to go. It was soo good to finally have our own place... I love every part of that old-fashioned flat with its 80s bathroom, big airy living room, a seperate kitchen, two bedrooms and its wonderful garden under the balcony. I would never have imagined this when we first met. I can't wait to go back in 3 weeks to stay in OUR flat
We visited several restaurants, one was a humble fish place that served amazingly fresh sea food dishes (if you ever go to Turkey, you MUST try shrips with tomatoes in butter!
), another a posher hotel restaurant to eat steak (and talk to the chef, his old work pal, which also gave us a dicount). We bicycled everywhere - it is very easy to do, as the town is pretty flat and has many leanghy streets - and he taughed me the easy routes. I really wanted him to swim with me in the hotel pool, but he is skinny and Turkish and thinks the water is too cold even in May (it is like Norwegian summer and I think that is very funny). We went for walks in the evening, not to the sand beach where he works, but to the stone beaches. I feel sufficiently Turkish-fan to enjoy walking on stones all evening (felt very strange the first time, now it is just normal) and proud to understand slowly more and more Turkish in both speach and writing, and even dearing to speak a little more than just "Merhaba".While I was there, a terrible tragedy hit Turkey. There was a fire in an unsecured mine that was in full use, and several hundred people died as a result when they were trapped in the blazing mine. This was despite the government and security officials claming that the mine was secure, even rejecting further investigations on safety. Work labour is cheep in Turkey, even to the extent of putting people's lives at risk as was now shown. Turkish Prime minister Erdogan was attacked by an angry mob when trying to pay his regards, people were absolutely furious and his political career is likely to be over. When I got home the state was staring to put people on trial for neglecting to prevent the accident. SO said "a part of him died", and Facebook is filled with sad or even morbid images of death and greif. On tv they were showing pictures on people having cry attacks, or being apatatically still while others sang sad tunes that made my eyes well up and remember the shooting tragegy in Norway (where the government had a lot to answer for, too).
Last I spoke to him, he had tried to deal with the grief of me leaving with cleaning the whole place by himself and was almost too exhausted to talk to me. But I feel something is very settled now. I have been introduced to his friends more, including one English couple with their own flat in the town, who have know him for years and are really nice. His work group have played enough tricks and jokes on me to accept me, I get a personal discount in the restaurant and I am just accepted there, as something like a mix between a queen and one of the boys. I bicycle all around town by myself, and I am not afraid to be alone in shops any more - if we don't understand each other I am not offended anymore, I just nod and smile, and try to take any embarrassement away.
A main thing about me living one week a month in Turkey, is that it is a working holiday for me. I have an agreement with work that I will read and write for my doctoral thesis while being away, and I was very much looking forward to se (and being nervous about) if I would actually get some work done, and if I would feel lonely while I was there. Turns out, it was the perfect match! It is amazing to work (read and write) while sitting on the beach, getting a sun tan, while SO or others are bringing me everything I need to eat and drink, and my SO sometimes having the time to chat or flirt. I don't bother him and he does not pester me, we just spend a little time whenever that is possable and that's it. I get ALL the work I planned done! Still, I could have worked more if we were not flat searching and moving while I was there, which means next time I can be even more ambitious. All the work I did also prevented me from going on shopping sprees. Every morning, I did yoga class by myself, which I have a hard time doing at home in Norway (I usually go to classes with a teacher). I felt very diciplined. Even his work mates complained if I came to the beach late! So it was a preassure, but a good one. Come to remember it, I did used to read curriculum on the beach as a student, too (exept our summers are very short, so that is probably why I did not remember it having worked before). I am actually very interested, and my mind is clear. Also, it helps that the pollen season that bothers me a lot this season in Norway does not affect me the same way in Turkey. I don't have the same muscle problems either, overall I am much healther while being there. And he is superproud of my ability to concentrate while reading, which is very comforting. I actually do feel that while he is working, I am also working, and I can completely suit my days to his during my stay. We live VERY close to his work, so we have no travel time and no transportation fees. Now they will start arrange parties once a week in additon to the other work, with only like on hour break in between, so it is very convenient to live this close.
Things are changing for us. The future talk that did not work so well when my husband was here (one of the reasons being my husband is almost as impulsive a speaker as my boyfriend), now just flowed naturally. We are talking more about bigger issues now, like politics and he positively surprises me by being just as smart as everyone keeps telling me he is...He is showing his thoughtful side more. We talked about child rearing and have very similar views on it. He said he is unsure he wants the responsability of having children, even though he likes them. I don't take it as he does not want children EVER, but that is not a change he wants in his life in the near future (we had this talk 1 day after moving in together) and I will have to focus on work the next couple of years so we are not on opposing sides here, especially since I have been less babycraving since taking up my studies again. His best friend and workmate of 6 years will be a father in a couple of months (the mother-to-be lives in my city), so the theme of children is very much on his mind these days.
I am trying to get him to quit smoking, or at least reduce smoking. His dentist complains that he smokes, and like me he has astma and should not really be smoking at all. He has more than indicated that he wants me to help him quit, he always wanted a non-smoking girlfriend to "inspire" him to drop the sigarettes, and he goes around saying he will not allow me to social smoke with him (I take the occiational sigarette in Turkey, but I nearly never smoke in Norway). He smokes less when I am there, he says, but I will only be there one week a month. I have to figure out which nicotine replacement will work best (I bought him nicotine chewing gum, but I am not sure he was up to it, he has tried it before and I am not sure if he likes to chew enough of them to get proper nicotine replacement. He tried electronical sigarettes from a friend and liked them, so I might opt for that).
Most importantly, though, I think he needs to find a hobby or something to do for himself besides the studies. He did not re-join the gym, I think he actually never liked it anyway (I LOVE the yoga I do). I think he will benifit from just being more alone, though. He has never had much alone time in his life, ever. He has lived in a big family, then lived in small quarters with his workmates or studymates, and just always had people around him. He is a social guy, but he is very like my husband in that sense that he cherishes silence and to be alone (or with just me). I tend to bring out the introvert in guys! He said his "dream was always to live alone", and now we will. I guess we will stay together for the next 1 1/2 years (2 seasons, moving houses in the fall), until he goes to military for 5 months. And then....we will see what happens. For the time being, I will live in Turkey part time and I am so happy about it
