So it starts like this:
July 2010
I was on Omegle, wanting to make some international friends. I come across this lovely 16 year old Estonian girl named Keit, and we instantly connected. We have fun for a few hours, talking about our countries and everything in between. I learn some things like how she has always wanted to visit Australia and that she is really cute
. That said, I learnt that she had big trust issues and we were never truly open with other.
For the next few months, we had a slowly growing platonic friendship. We got closer and closer and eventually she opened up to me. By early 2011, we were really close and we knew that we were developing feelings for each other.
Late March/Early April 2011
We had solid feelings for each other, but we didn't know how we could make it work. I had moved to Melbourne to study. I am a shy person and I was struggling to make good friends. I felt lonely and although Keit tried her best to make me feel better, I needed physical contact. I really hurt her when I told her that I couldn't do a long distance relationship. Seeing her face when I told her scarred me. It was one of the worst days of my life. I then started a relationship with a girl I knew from my university. One week into the relationship, I couldn't keep Keit off my mind. The girl was really good to me and treated me well, but I didn't love her. I decided to call it off before she invested herself too much into me. She understood and we left it at that. Keit took me back. I didn't deserve it, but I was so thankful for it. I broke a girls heart but she still wanted me.
Late April/Early May 2011
I was in a bad living situation with some family in Melbourne. It wasn't working out, so they forced me to go home to my family in NSW for my mid-semester break over Easter. I started to contemplate visiting Keit during my mid-year break. I had some spare money so I went to the travel agent when I got back to Melbourne and eventually booked a ticket! I was really excited as it was going to be my first time in Europe, and my first flight alone.
June 2011~$2500 later
I flew to Europe to see Keit. I had the best 23 days of my life. We knew it was legitimate love when we saw each other at the airport in Tallinn at 12am. All I could think about on the flight over was how we would be together. The first hug we had was the best I've ever felt. We got to her sisters house and had a really late dinner. Keit was so shy she couldn't speak, so it was me and her sister/husband talking. After a couple of hours of making out, Keit and I fell asleep. It was so good to have her in my arms.
Over the next 23 days, I had a great time enjoying an Estonian summer. We went to the beach, the (junior) Song Festival and Helsinki amongst other things. For the last 3 days, her and I spent it together in Paris. It was a great way to finish our trip together. Although I got sick on the last day, we made the most of our limited time together. We went to Charles De Gaulle and had our flights to go home. She left first, and it was heartbreaking to see her go. She was balling her eyes out, and all I wanted to do was go back with her to Tallinn. Nonetheless, I had to watch her walk through security on her own. I had to wait about 6 hours for my flight to leave...it was a bad 6 hours.
July - November 2011
I had to go back to class. I was an absolute mess for the first 2 weeks after I got back. Thank god my university offers a counselling service, because they got me through the rough patch. At so many points in time, I wanted to give up and just go back to Tallinn to be with Keit. Skype (an Estonian creation!) was my other best friend. I looked into studying in Estonia but I just don't have the money to do so.
Keit and I spoke about a longer visit during my summer break (Late Nov-Late Feb). Sadly I didn't have the money to finance such a trip. I spoke to my mother about paying for a plane ticket as my 21st gift. She told me that I should wait until I graduate (3-4 years) before I see Keit again, but that wasn't an option for me. I broke down on the phone to my mother. She realised how much Keit meant to me and she agreed to pay for the ticket. I hated having to ask my mother for so much money but I had no other immediate option. I couldn't work because I had too many contact hours with class.
I finished class and went over again.
Nov 25 2011 - March 5 2012
I had a long 3.5 trip to Estonia. This time, I was basically living there and I spent most of my days with her sister who is on maternity leave with her children. It was such a surreal experience. I got to go to Stockholm and Riga with Keit! I got to have Christmas, celebrate the New Year, celebrate Valentines Day and most importantly, celebrate her 18th birthday in person! I ended up being really sick but just being able to be there was enough for me.Sadly, the time flew by and I had to go home on the 5th. What Keit and I realised is that even though we would fight occasionally, our love was 110% real and that we wanted to close the distance. It was just as hard to leave as the first time, I just cried less.
And to now...
Now I am back in Melbourne. I am back at class and looking for some part time work, so I can pay for Keit to visit for a couple of months in July/August. All I want is to have the money on hand so I can know 100% that Keit can visit. The uncertainty kills me at times. The plan for now is that she can visit in July/August and I can go back for 3 months over my summer break. We hate waiting, but if can stay until late August then that takes a month off the wait from July-November. A 3 month wait is more manageable
.
Long term? I hope to be able to do study exchange in Finland for 2 semesters, starting in September next year. Given that I finish in late June, that gives me 2 months of free time to spend with Keit to do whatever we wish. She also finishes school in the middle of next year so we are hoping that she can move to Finland and live with me for the one year. Afterwards, we are planning on her coming to live in Australia for 1 year on a working holiday holiday visa. Either she can live with me or she will try to get an au-pair job in Melbourne. (That way she can get a stable income and steady accommodation). After all this, I should have 6 months of class until I graduate. Either she could go back to Tallinn or we could apply for temporary residency and have her stay here until I sort out my financials for a move to Europe! If we got married, that also opens up some study options in Europe because I wouldn't need a study permit.
(We might be forced into marriage, given that Estonia doesn't recognise civil unions. She could stay in Australia but my heart isn't here.)
July 2010
I was on Omegle, wanting to make some international friends. I come across this lovely 16 year old Estonian girl named Keit, and we instantly connected. We have fun for a few hours, talking about our countries and everything in between. I learn some things like how she has always wanted to visit Australia and that she is really cute
. That said, I learnt that she had big trust issues and we were never truly open with other.For the next few months, we had a slowly growing platonic friendship. We got closer and closer and eventually she opened up to me. By early 2011, we were really close and we knew that we were developing feelings for each other.
Late March/Early April 2011
We had solid feelings for each other, but we didn't know how we could make it work. I had moved to Melbourne to study. I am a shy person and I was struggling to make good friends. I felt lonely and although Keit tried her best to make me feel better, I needed physical contact. I really hurt her when I told her that I couldn't do a long distance relationship. Seeing her face when I told her scarred me. It was one of the worst days of my life. I then started a relationship with a girl I knew from my university. One week into the relationship, I couldn't keep Keit off my mind. The girl was really good to me and treated me well, but I didn't love her. I decided to call it off before she invested herself too much into me. She understood and we left it at that. Keit took me back. I didn't deserve it, but I was so thankful for it. I broke a girls heart but she still wanted me.
Late April/Early May 2011
I was in a bad living situation with some family in Melbourne. It wasn't working out, so they forced me to go home to my family in NSW for my mid-semester break over Easter. I started to contemplate visiting Keit during my mid-year break. I had some spare money so I went to the travel agent when I got back to Melbourne and eventually booked a ticket! I was really excited as it was going to be my first time in Europe, and my first flight alone.
June 2011~$2500 later
I flew to Europe to see Keit. I had the best 23 days of my life. We knew it was legitimate love when we saw each other at the airport in Tallinn at 12am. All I could think about on the flight over was how we would be together. The first hug we had was the best I've ever felt. We got to her sisters house and had a really late dinner. Keit was so shy she couldn't speak, so it was me and her sister/husband talking. After a couple of hours of making out, Keit and I fell asleep. It was so good to have her in my arms.
Over the next 23 days, I had a great time enjoying an Estonian summer. We went to the beach, the (junior) Song Festival and Helsinki amongst other things. For the last 3 days, her and I spent it together in Paris. It was a great way to finish our trip together. Although I got sick on the last day, we made the most of our limited time together. We went to Charles De Gaulle and had our flights to go home. She left first, and it was heartbreaking to see her go. She was balling her eyes out, and all I wanted to do was go back with her to Tallinn. Nonetheless, I had to watch her walk through security on her own. I had to wait about 6 hours for my flight to leave...it was a bad 6 hours.
July - November 2011
I had to go back to class. I was an absolute mess for the first 2 weeks after I got back. Thank god my university offers a counselling service, because they got me through the rough patch. At so many points in time, I wanted to give up and just go back to Tallinn to be with Keit. Skype (an Estonian creation!) was my other best friend. I looked into studying in Estonia but I just don't have the money to do so.
Keit and I spoke about a longer visit during my summer break (Late Nov-Late Feb). Sadly I didn't have the money to finance such a trip. I spoke to my mother about paying for a plane ticket as my 21st gift. She told me that I should wait until I graduate (3-4 years) before I see Keit again, but that wasn't an option for me. I broke down on the phone to my mother. She realised how much Keit meant to me and she agreed to pay for the ticket. I hated having to ask my mother for so much money but I had no other immediate option. I couldn't work because I had too many contact hours with class.
I finished class and went over again.
Nov 25 2011 - March 5 2012
I had a long 3.5 trip to Estonia. This time, I was basically living there and I spent most of my days with her sister who is on maternity leave with her children. It was such a surreal experience. I got to go to Stockholm and Riga with Keit! I got to have Christmas, celebrate the New Year, celebrate Valentines Day and most importantly, celebrate her 18th birthday in person! I ended up being really sick but just being able to be there was enough for me.Sadly, the time flew by and I had to go home on the 5th. What Keit and I realised is that even though we would fight occasionally, our love was 110% real and that we wanted to close the distance. It was just as hard to leave as the first time, I just cried less.
And to now...
Now I am back in Melbourne. I am back at class and looking for some part time work, so I can pay for Keit to visit for a couple of months in July/August. All I want is to have the money on hand so I can know 100% that Keit can visit. The uncertainty kills me at times. The plan for now is that she can visit in July/August and I can go back for 3 months over my summer break. We hate waiting, but if can stay until late August then that takes a month off the wait from July-November. A 3 month wait is more manageable
.Long term? I hope to be able to do study exchange in Finland for 2 semesters, starting in September next year. Given that I finish in late June, that gives me 2 months of free time to spend with Keit to do whatever we wish. She also finishes school in the middle of next year so we are hoping that she can move to Finland and live with me for the one year. Afterwards, we are planning on her coming to live in Australia for 1 year on a working holiday holiday visa. Either she can live with me or she will try to get an au-pair job in Melbourne. (That way she can get a stable income and steady accommodation). After all this, I should have 6 months of class until I graduate. Either she could go back to Tallinn or we could apply for temporary residency and have her stay here until I sort out my financials for a move to Europe! If we got married, that also opens up some study options in Europe because I wouldn't need a study permit.
(We might be forced into marriage, given that Estonia doesn't recognise civil unions. She could stay in Australia but my heart isn't here.)