Hi, my name is Ashley! I want to share my experience in a long distance relationship with someone in the military and some tips! My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and half of our relationship has been long distance. My boyfriend joined the army last summer and he flew out to basic in October. I had no idea what it was going to be like at all so before he left I searched videos about the army and how to deal with your partner being away. I thought these videos helped me but when he finally left I forgot all about them. I was sad, worried, and stressed until I heard from him two weeks later. We only got a ten minute phone call but it relieved a lot of anxiety because I knew he was okay. By then I already started writing letters to him but they couldn’t be sent out until a few weeks letter. Writing letters helped a lot, when I wanted to talk to him I just wrote him a letter. By the time he finally got the address, I sent them immediately. The letters took about a week and a half to get to each other and they only have little notepad paper to write on. When you write the letters don’t include anything that will worry them because they’re already stressed enough and most likely home sick. They endure a lot and sometimes they might not get phone calls on Sundays because there platoon was acting up. You can always include how much you miss or love them but they really want to hear what you have been up to. Make sure to cheer them on as well!
My boyfriend was able to go on holiday block leave and I was sooo happy! I requested two weeks off of work to spend time with him. I expected everything to be the same once he came back but at first it wasn’t. It takes a few days for them to adjust to being back home and around normal people again. They’ll tell you about everything they have learned , the friends they have made, and how miserable it is. My boyfriend sang cadences the entire time that I eventually started to sing along with him. When he went back I knew I was going to see him in three weeks for graduation so the goodbye wasn't too bad. I flew out to Missouri for a few days for his graduation. The graduation is different from high school or college graduations but it is definitely something everyone should get to witness. It is amazing to see all of the hard work each and every individual put in. This was the last time I got to see my boyfriend but he will be back home in three months from AIT.
TIPS:
Frequent Communication
It’s very important to figure out a schedule of when you guys can facetime or talk on the phone. You both will have very busy schedules, so figuring out a routine will be very helpful. Although, you can text each other throughout the day it always feels better when you can see each other’s faces. Try to reassure one another, tell each other what’s been going on in your lives, any exciting news, or even what you plan to do when you see each other next. It’s always nice to hear that the both of you are doing okay. You could even play games over the phone or watch tv together.
Trust and Honesty
Building a foundation of trust before the distance is very helpful because the both of will be less worried about what the other person is doing. Trust is critical in any relationship but definitely harder to do when you are apart. It’s important to be honest with each other throughout everything, if not it can cause issues for the both of you. Listen to each other if there are any issues that come up. If you have an argument try to communicate and resolve it if possible. An argument can go either way but if its bad try to take a break and communicate afterwards.
Self- Care
When your partner leaves there will be a lot of down time. Try to fill this time with a new hobby, friends, family, work, or school. Being busy will keep your mind off the distance. It’s important to take care of yourself. You’ll gain some independence and may learn new things about yourself. You can impress your partner with the new things you’ve learned when they return.
Frequent Visits
Try to plan a visit to see each other every three months or so if possible. There could be scheduling issues or financial issues but its always nice to see each other if you can especially if they won’t be back home for a while. This can help connect you and your partner better and it will help with any of the negative emotions or the feelings you’ve missed. It will also make the goodbyes a little easier knowing when you will see them next.
These tips should be effective in a successful long distance military relationship. They have helped mine out immensely and hopefully yours as well! If you are ever feeling down or lonely you can always contact me. I am willing to talk to anyone in a similar situation who needs someone to confide in. I found these tips to be critical to making the distance work and to help with any of the struggles.
My boyfriend was able to go on holiday block leave and I was sooo happy! I requested two weeks off of work to spend time with him. I expected everything to be the same once he came back but at first it wasn’t. It takes a few days for them to adjust to being back home and around normal people again. They’ll tell you about everything they have learned , the friends they have made, and how miserable it is. My boyfriend sang cadences the entire time that I eventually started to sing along with him. When he went back I knew I was going to see him in three weeks for graduation so the goodbye wasn't too bad. I flew out to Missouri for a few days for his graduation. The graduation is different from high school or college graduations but it is definitely something everyone should get to witness. It is amazing to see all of the hard work each and every individual put in. This was the last time I got to see my boyfriend but he will be back home in three months from AIT.
TIPS:
Frequent Communication
It’s very important to figure out a schedule of when you guys can facetime or talk on the phone. You both will have very busy schedules, so figuring out a routine will be very helpful. Although, you can text each other throughout the day it always feels better when you can see each other’s faces. Try to reassure one another, tell each other what’s been going on in your lives, any exciting news, or even what you plan to do when you see each other next. It’s always nice to hear that the both of you are doing okay. You could even play games over the phone or watch tv together.
Trust and Honesty
Building a foundation of trust before the distance is very helpful because the both of will be less worried about what the other person is doing. Trust is critical in any relationship but definitely harder to do when you are apart. It’s important to be honest with each other throughout everything, if not it can cause issues for the both of you. Listen to each other if there are any issues that come up. If you have an argument try to communicate and resolve it if possible. An argument can go either way but if its bad try to take a break and communicate afterwards.
Self- Care
When your partner leaves there will be a lot of down time. Try to fill this time with a new hobby, friends, family, work, or school. Being busy will keep your mind off the distance. It’s important to take care of yourself. You’ll gain some independence and may learn new things about yourself. You can impress your partner with the new things you’ve learned when they return.
Frequent Visits
Try to plan a visit to see each other every three months or so if possible. There could be scheduling issues or financial issues but its always nice to see each other if you can especially if they won’t be back home for a while. This can help connect you and your partner better and it will help with any of the negative emotions or the feelings you’ve missed. It will also make the goodbyes a little easier knowing when you will see them next.
These tips should be effective in a successful long distance military relationship. They have helped mine out immensely and hopefully yours as well! If you are ever feeling down or lonely you can always contact me. I am willing to talk to anyone in a similar situation who needs someone to confide in. I found these tips to be critical to making the distance work and to help with any of the struggles.