We spent this past week more or less just chilling. We watched so many episodes of friends lol We gave eachother full body massages. Okay now this can turn into something sexy, but we kept it really professional. We had talked about this yesterday he said he would give me a massage and i said that i would give him one in return. so today he set up some towels and i stripped and laid down, and we used olive oil. Just the one i had in my kitchen. And it was really good! Put on some soothing music. My SO is so gifted with his hands! Lol don't take that in a wrong way. I mean he really took care of me started with my back but did my feet to my finger tips. And then i gave him one in return. The whole thing was intimate but innocent at the same time. It was really nice and i recommend it for couples. Trying to make your SO feel good, just makes me feel closer to him.
We had alot of talk about just our commitment to each other. That he wants to move in together, which now thats all i can think about. I think i would be completly okay with moving away from my family to be with him. I want to start a life together. Its just scary, because i still have insecurities. Im scared of not bieng good enough, i cant help compare and wonder about the other girls in his life... which at this point in our relationship is silly. He is so good to me and always reasures me im the only one. We talk about starting a family. We'll be out and we will see little kids playing and he will whisper in my ear he wants one. He is so good with kids too. We went to my cousins 1 year birthday and he was on the water slide playing with all the other kids. And helping teach kids to swim, holding this little girls hand and letting her swim back and forth just he is so good. Him running after my little brother, reading to him in the car. He will be a good dad.
He took such good care of me this past month, i felt secure, safe and very loved. He took care of all my wants and needs. And i am truly thankful and grateful to have such a loving caring man in my life to love and who loves me.
Im just sad now. I only get 4 more days with him. We leave tomorrow to go to san Fran where i will be saying goodbye, and it makes me sad. I feel like we been together much longer. That this is how we been and are meant to be, together, close, able to see him everyday all day long. I don't know how im going to handle going back to just talking to him online. Im dreading it and i don't want to let him leave or go, i so wish i could go with him. Im going to miss him so much. He sys he's comming back as soon as he can, but even so it will be months, and its just going to hurt so much and be so hard saying goodbye.
