Mhmm so another day without Nathan but im slowly adjusting back to our old ways, its just hard. He said today he doesn't know when he can come back legally. And So if he weren't to come back in December it just be smarter to wait till the summer when i can go.. if i can go... and this just upsets me. Its so hard without him to wait a year... i dont want to do it.. course i have no choice in the matter because i refuse to live without him in my life, i need and love him so much so it doesnt matter how hard. Plus its not like he has to visit before then. But gosh how it sucks being so far. I really dont want to wait a whole year to see him again.... I have no idea when we will be together. Im just praying its sooner then later.

So i need to hurry and get a job! Its so hard and frusterating, filling out apps and getting no where it seems, but going to try try try, if not i may just sell everything i own and idk... im just frusterated at having nothing and no luck. Course its only been a few days... So wish me luck please.

Going to be busy this next week which im thankful for, got things planned from friday till next sunday, so a good weeks worth, need to keep busy or else i have time to be depressed and miss.

But going to be positive, like Nathan tells me, this is just a small part of forever that we will get to spend together. So..... gotta keep hopeful.