So yesterday morning I texted Hattie to see if I could ask him a serious question. I do this because I'll sometimes text a question and never hear back and I can't tell if he gets them and can't reply or doesn't check his phone or whatnot. About 4 I got a text back (probably on break, I'm still not sure he quit the smoking but I don't care right now, he needs the breaks) and so while I was in the car with my mom I basically rambled into my reply. Thank God I bought a phone with a full keyboard in January. S'like I knew I'd need it. XD

Anyway, what I essentially asked was if he would ever seriously consider moving here to Louisiana. I told him it was pretty much the only way I could help get him another job and I could help pay for the moving and everything, but that I wasn't going to make him decide now like some ultimatum and I was only trying to make sure he's happy. I haven't gotten a text back. Now I know he's busy since it's the weekend and it's getting close to July 4th, but I've been nervous ever since. I've dreamt twice he told me no and yelled at me for daring to ask in the first place. All I ever think about is us living together now, here, and the things we could do. I'm not sure what'll happen if he does say no.

UNRELATED RAMBLE:

So I browbeat my psychiatrist and got ADD meds (HAD new meds for the depression but the precription was $490 for a month supply so I said no and hafta go back Monday for something else) and I'm kinda mellowed out. Haven't been overly hyper, haven't been down in the dumps. Just calm, and I like it. First dose, gotta do the starter pack thing so who knows.

I've had it up to here with my best friend, Heather. Really have. Her copycat/attention whore tendencies are way too obvious now. She's always been envious that I can draw better than she can and that, despite many things, I have a better home life. Her dad's a drunk, her mom's a jobless emotional abuser who enjoys telling Heather she's worthless while taking $400 from her paycheck for 'rent' each month even though she's kicked out on a weekly basis, and her sister's the golden child who can do no wrong. I've tried getting her out that house, but she whines that it's too hard and stays put. Anyway.

Heather likes to copy me, which frankly I don't care but this bothered me the other night. We were in a group chat with a guy friend of hers and she bragged about how she was scaring the new neighbors (mature, right?) and how she'd had this conversation with the woman about cannibalism, reciting how the meat tastes, what cuts to use, how to cook it, blabla. I descend from a cannibal tribe and I have a probably unhealthy fascination with cannibals and whenever I need people to back off I do that, have for years. I'm naturally creepy looking or whatever. Anyway so the guy is laughing about it and was telling her how brilliant that was and I pointed out she "took my shtick". She brushed it off like it was no huge deal but it kinda was to me. She thinks it's cool to imitate weird things I do and I know imitation is supposedly the sincerest form of flattery, but I don't want to be imitated. I do things for a reason, not to be cool.

Two nights ago she told me she looked up the symptoms of bipolar sufferers (this being because I told her I'd done research about the possibility of my having ADD and all that) and she says she has 'every symptom'. Which is fine, I supported her in the idea that it explained how she behaved and all that, but then here's what strikes me as dumb as hell. She told ALL of her coworkers, everyone on Facebook, and her mom. Then she comes crying to me when no one believes her. You don't BRAG about being sick. Dear God. I will point out my problems sometimes but I don't proudly state I'm bipolar or OCD or anything. I thought over it tonight after she whined more this morning and realized she wanted the attention and, again, to be like me. It's getting sickening. I still hate her for what she accused Hattie of in May, and so is he. Sometimes I don't want to stop being her friend, but I feel like I'm gaining a stupid doppelganger and losing a friend all the while dealing with a jealous two-faced bitch who wants my relationship to fail because all hers did.

Seems like I'm never happy, huh?