Some things are worth it, and some things aren't. It's weird. I'd used to rather sit in my room and mope 24/7 than go out with friends. I don't know why. These past few days I've been "busy" and haven't really thought about it. I mean, I'm writing a book about it and thinking of ideas of what to write makes me think about it, but not thinking about it on my own without writing about it. Even if he does come back, I want to beat it into his head that he's not going to get away with it again. When we last talked about it he said he never said he didn't want to talk to me ever again, just right now...so I'm going to see if he does come back. I'm jealous of all the fun he and his friends have and if I was there it would be even more fun! I hate how he doesn't even try to make it work he just thinks it won't so it won't work.

I asked him what's so different about you and the other guys I stopped talking to in time who never messaged me again? The ones who do come back are the ones that I DON'T want to come back in the first place, lol. And the ones I DO want to come back DON'T come back.

I feel like things would be okay if we met in person at least once to get a sense of how we'd be in person. I'm sick of my ex-best friend always effortlessly getting what she wants. She and her long distance visit each other every weekend consistently so one or the other doesn't have to drive all the time. My long distance is only 8 to 9 hours away (two more hours than hers).

I don't know, maybe I'm not getting what I want because I focus my energy on unimportant people. I don't have a car to drive to see him so there is no point to pressure it...I guess.

I feel like I'll beat my curse once I finish writing my first novel and good things will start to happen like I've always wanted. That's not unrealistic to achieve, but getting it sold will be the hard part. I finally talked to someone in real life about editing my work so this should help hopefully. I'm going to make a super awesome summary blurb.

People keep telling me people can't make it as Indie Authors. I'm going to say maybe it wasn't for them for those that didn't make it but it is for me.