So like the title says, by SO is in China for practically three weeks. Kind of sucks. Which is funny because we are already so far apart.
Well this time it sucks even more because he is now currently 13 hours ahead of me...........
So when I go to bed, he's waking up. And then when I wake up, he soon goes to bed. Like I said, sucks.
But I am coping with it nonetheless. It's only for three weeks. I can put up with that.

It kind of lead me to wonder if I would be able to handle being in that LDR if he was in China for good. Never mind. I don't want to think about that anymore. If it hasn't happened, I am not going to spend my time worrying about it.

It's been Day 7 of him gone. So far, from the little of what we've communicated, he's been to a lot of restaurants, a circus, a museum with Italian artifacts. He wasn't to happy about that ahah. I'll find out more when he gets back home.
He's supposed to return July 9


We also cleared things up about marriage, on where where we stand.
So we both agreed that it's not the right time. We know we want to be together, and eventually get married. It's just definitely not the right time. Which is fine. We definitely do not have the finances for a wedding. It has already been established that we'd get married through a city hall of some kind, and eventually have a reception later.

As for other news, I am officially going to go see him in Italy. I bought my ticket!!!!!!
But, still haven't told the parents yet..........
It's horrible I know. But at the same time, I don't want to feel afraid and worried every time I want to make big plans like this. They love my SO, they now know that he's a great person, but they still do not like it when I talk about me visiting him.
To them it's bad that I'm spending so much money on that when I can help out my family here.
That is exactly why I feel trapped and afraid of them almost.
I had everything filled out online for the ticket. The mouse was held over the checkout button. I hesitated for so long.
Then I thought to myself, that I don't want to be afraid anymore. I am 23 years old. I know I'm not a grown adult, but I am not 18 anymore. I know what I want. I know what I have to do. I don't know everything, but I'm trying to learn on my way during this journey.

I do not want my fear to dictate the way I live my life.