Since I have been back from my trip from Italy, I feel like I have changed, good and bad. I have become more independent I think. A lot more than what I have ever been.
With that independence, comes that feeling of "maybe I don't need to talk to him all the time".

He has become busy. The normal and expected busy. And I have mentioned him occupied plenty of times in my previous posts.
He has officially become the work type of busy. The typical 9-5 job. 5 days a week.
He is learning so much. Meeting new people all the time and from different countries. I think all of this great. How could I not? I mean, the gy is experiencing something so new to him, and wearing his tailored suits every day haha

So I mentioned before how the past three or so months, I slowly became accustomed to not hearing from him as much or even video chatting. (Which has been cut down to maybe once a week, if we're lucky)
I didn't want to rely on him and expect so much and then getting disappointed if he was too tired to speak with me or stay up late.
I totally get that.
I learned to let it go.

But things kind of started falling out of place, I feel.

The more meaningful conversations turned into small talk. "How are you?" "How's it going" "what are you up to?" "how is the weather"
And always with the same expected replies.

I did not want to fall into that pattern and stay there, so I start sparking up the convo, or at least trying.
He tells me he's too tired to give a deep and good answer.
I stopped. Got discouraged. Stopped asking him my "deep" questions.

We had talks concerning this problem. Since he feels I am cold and distant now.
The sad thing was, I hadn't even realized that I had become distant.
And now, it's gotten to the point where I am almost desperate to get a full-time job so I don't have to this about this as much as I do. I can only keep myself busy for so much though...

Things have changed.I think he still holds those strong feelings for me on his end
And i am really scared because I am becoming impatient. My drive is slowing down.

I'm afraid. I love him so much.