I met a boy from Kenya who was visiting on a charity trip with his church singing group. When we met, he was 16 and I was 14. I know how young that is to fall in love, but I thought long and hard about it before I told him, so I was really sure how I felt. I'd never felt so in love before, and knew I would never love anyone as much as I loved him. He was back in mombasa in Kenya and I was in England.We've been emailing for two years now, I am 16 and he's 18. He still feels exactly the same. I know I love him, because of how strongly I felt about him when we were together, but now, it's like I don't feel anything for him anymore because i can't remember him. I think that's what it is anyway? I think if i was to see him again i would know exactly how I feel. I just can't feel it right now?
I can't discuss this with him over email, especially with the language differences! His English is greaat but not that amazing!
I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this guy, marry him and everything. But now I have started wondering how this is actually going to work. Is this a normal LDR situation? Do people in LDR's go from this to living together like a normal couple? I have so many questions in my head and need to talk to someone!
I am starting to think, how is this really going to work? Should we just forget this whole thing now? But he loves me so much. And I know I love him.
He texted me last night saying how much he loved me and he's going to speak to the main sponser and Sandra (who is a woman involved with the charity from my mum's church). I know her, she's a friend. I've been really strong the last two years, and now I need to know what's going to happen, for example is he going to come to university in england to study and we get a place together? This kind of thing is confusing me and I just need to know all this stuff!
I really hope this isn't too confusing and you can answer some of the questions in this email!
From LUCY1994
thank you so much! xx
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Hello Lucy,
2 years is a long time and a lot of things can change in 2 years. You are a different person than you were back then.
You keep saying you love him - but you are basing it on how you felt back when you were 14 years old - not how you feel presently. You yourself said, "it's like I don't feel anything for him anymore because i can't remember him."
In my opinion, I feel it would be wrong to continue to lead him on in the HOPES that you will feel the same as you did when you were 14 years old when he moves to the UK for school.
It is possible that you can rekindle old flames - but you can't have him change his life dramatically by moving from Kenya to the UK when you don't have feelings for him and are only hoping you'll feel the same as you did back then when/if you see him in person again.
Best of luck,
LFADvisor