I left Guatemala two days ago. Going to the airport sucked, neither of us wanted it to happen because it meant we'd be living in different countries. He stayed there with me for almost an hour, until the last moment when I was sure I wouldn't miss my flight and he had to go to work. In security check, the woman almost took the small metal carriage replica he made me, of the carriage we road on our first date. I nearly lost it, well, I half way lost it. Tears streaming down my face. Thank goodness she asked someone with common sense if it was okay.

So now, I'm in California for 2 weeks before heading to the East Coast to complete school and look for a job that will provide enough to save up some money. He's still in Guate and despite the enormous charges for international texting on both our phones, he has sent me texts throughout each day. He's taking it harder than I am but that's just because I've made myself believe this is just a 3 week sojourn in the US instead of being apart for 3 months.

We've been mainly CD during our relationship, we lived an hour or so apart from one another while I was in Guate and, thus, saw each other on the weekends when I wasn't traveling for research. This summer was rather blissful, each weekend spent together. Sometimes Friday night thru Monday morning. We were both spoiled. Thus, I had to book a plane ticket before leaving him so that we would both know the date to look forward to. It's totally killed the number in my bank account but I couldn't handle the pain of not knowing.

We're both trying to be rational and calm about being away from each other, especially because it's probably for at least 2 years, but it's hard. I miss him and I feel the tears well up. I want to feel his embrace, to hear his voice, and to touch his skin. None of which I can do right now. He has no internet at home and limited internet elsewhere which means Skype isn't a big option. Potentially. I would love if he created a Skype account and I could just see him once. I guess a lot can happen in 3 months, so maybe.

My heart hurts. These nights are terrible when I'm alone and thinking of how peaceful it was to curl up in the crook of his arm, laying next to him and finding sleep in such a blissful way.

I miss him.