Right now sucks. Being away from him sucks. I just want to hold him, to hug him, to be in the same city, to be in the same country. I donīt need to see him this second, if only I were going to see him in a few weeks but the scheduled visit is still two months away. Itīs closer than it was before but tonight this distance is just hitting so hard. I just want to be with him. It hurts right now. At least I have my teddy bear that wears his shirt. Iīll hug Fito tonight and heīll be my pillow that I so wish was J. I know I can wait. He said heīd wait for me, as long as it takes. I just wish either he didnīt have to finish university in Guatemala or I could find a job there with decent enough salary to pay all the bills and loans. Thereīs no use being angry but it still hurts that we canīt be together yet.