That wonderfully weird feeling.

That time in a girl's life when her husband says "If you boyfriend really wants you, he can marry you", while at the same time planning to get pregnant with said husband.

I have been e-mailing lawyers all yesterday evening. I recon we will need both an immigration lawyer to give us advice abut the immigration process, and another one to take care of our testaments so that my husband and any future children are secured after the divorce settlement. The testament thing is practical, but also symbolic towards my husband - like "I divorce you but I dont".

I have not even told SO yet. I know he wants to marry me but he has always told me he respects my husband too much to intervene in our marriage. And he has looked for other ways, too. It simply is not that easy to be employed in my country when you come from outside of the EU. Student visa is not an option as he is a slow student, and anyway he has a bachelor degree.

This will be a long and hard journey for our family, but hopefully one with a happy ending for all of us. As my husband put it: "As a citizen of this country I have rights. He is vounerable. I am not". He knows how hard I looked to find other ways to close the distance.

Tomorrow husband and I will have our portraits taken. I love him more than ever. It is so unfair that we have to consider doing all of this crap just to stay together as a family.