Today I have a difficult day. I am working to set up my company. I have not seen SO in almost 3 months and we still have not set up a plan for a visit, as I did not know for the last 2 months if I had a job or not. SO left his work town today to visit his family, without me. This is an uppertunity to be strong together apart. At the same time I miss him terribly. It helps me to listen to Turkish music. When I am sad, I love this song, "Frustration" (Husran). I remember I used to listen to it every time I left him on my visits because it was on the Turkish Airlines pop song playlist lol I will ask him to Skype with me so I can see where he and listen to the sounds where he is. When Mustafa Ceceli sings about his tired heart and tired dreams, it sounds so familiar and brings me closer to him. And through the music, I become hopeful that one day he will be with me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU6fbWlV3Fg

I still breathe all the flowers,
Smiles in another.
My tired heart, tired dreams,
They're still defeating me.

I always have a hope in my heart,
Always the same courage,
I have a voice from my inner "patience, patience".
Among the thoughts I think,
Years left behind me?
Frustration again
Every prosperous figure my heart,
It will become poison, and there will be no other dreams.
Frustration, wry figurine my heart
I'm defeated, he does not see cruelty, my God.