I'm responsible for my boyfriend's uni application, I urgently need to finish my thesis, I haven't done laundry in two weeks and there's a huge heap of it waiting to be done, my new suitcase needs to get here in time, we only have one visit scheduled in January and then we won't know when we see each other again...
I was at uni basically the whole day today and I had to try so hard to hold back tears. I don't know what it is and why it's getting to me right now, but I feel I have too much on my hands to handle. I've sent out one of my boyfriend's uni applications and I need to hand in the first documents for the other one (at my uni!). I'm happy he might come here to study, but all this application shit for foreigners is way complicated and he's not actually helping a lot with it. I'm scared I don't have all the required documents or we won't make it in time.
I'm visiting him for a weekend in January but after that we don't have any other visits planned. We're both graduating and have to defend our theses some times in March. I also have two term papers due by then, so I won't have a lot of time.
It's probably silly to worry about that now, but in two years we've never had to part without having a definite next visit planned. If nothing comes up til then, this is going to be so hard for me. I don't even know how I will be able to get into the plane and leave him not knowing when I'll see him again. I can't do that. Can't. It's killing me to think about it now, I can't imagine what it will be like then.
I need to finish my Bachelor's thesis. I've written 5 pages so far, so that means about 20 more to go. I have a script with the chapters and what each chapter contains, so it's definitely doable, but I'm still panicking. My supervisor is also my boss, so I feel like I need to not only pass but actually write a good thesis. Which is stressing me even more (and no, it doesn't help that all my friends tell me that I've never had anything below an A- with him. So he knows I'm not stupid, if my thesis turns out shitty, he knows I was just lazy - or worse he might realize I'm actually not as smart as he thinks I am.)
I haven't worked out or been to the gym since last Monday. I'm binging on chocolate
I'm not happy.On the positive side, though:
- I've managed to apply for a passport, so I can finally go to Ukraine. We're planning to go in March or April next year.
- I've passed a paper I failed last year. It's only a C, but better than failing anyway. This was one of the two grades (+thesis) that were still missing. I've passed the other paper as well, but I don't know the grade yet. So it's really only my thesis + defence that are between me and my B.A. degree.
- I have all my Christmas presents... I think.
- I've finally gotten a thermometer and track sheets to get back into natural family planning
- my irritable bladder (that 100% was due to stress also) has gotten better - I don't wake up at 4 or 5 am to pee anymore (YAY!)