Sorry this is so long...I'm too tired to edit right now. 
I met my SO in the fall of 2007 – my third year of college, and his second. We were living in the same dorm building, where he happened to be roommates with a friend of mine. Along with his roommate, I had a number of good friends living in the same building, and my future SO quickly became part of our group. But apart from the fact that I thought he was a generally cool guy, I didn’t give him much thought in those days. This was mainly (okay, completely) due to the fact that I had an enormous crush on his roommate. I’d confessed my feelings to him that winter, but nothing came of it until the following fall, when he finally asked me out.
It was a doomed endeavor from day one, and looking back, the whole thing was terribly unhealthy. I had a lot of insecurities and he had some very serious issues of his own that tore apart not just our relationship, but our friendship as well. But that’s another story, and fortunately we’re back on good terms now. Anyway, all this drama consumed a lot of my attention through most of my senior year. My now-SO and my ex were no longer roommates, but all three of us were working as Resident Assistants in the same building. While this made it impossible to get away from my ex, it also allowed my SO and I to become closer. We started spending more one-on-one time together that spring (my senior year, his junior) – working in the RA office, planning floor events together for our residents, coordinating elaborate pranks against friends (we weren’t very strict RAs
), and just studying or watching movies together. I was finally recovering from the hurt caused by my ex, and was beginning to realize just how awesome this guy was, and that I might have some deeper feelings for him.
I was pleased when he asked me out near the end of that school year – but I was surprised to realize just how deep his feelings for me ran. After our second date, he began talking about trying to find a job closer to where I’d be living that summer. I had been accepted into the Peace Corps, and was going to be moving overseas to teach English for two years at the end of the summer, and he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible before I left. This threw me off balance. For one thing, I realized that he was thinking about our relationship much more seriously than I was ready for. I was also unsure about jumping into a relationship when I was not only about to graduate and move to a different state, but then move to the far side of the world for two whole years. The difficulty of maintaining a LDR is one of the primary reasons that Peace Corps Volunteers quit their two-year term of service early, and I didn’t want to put that pressure on myself, or on him. Anyway, I broke things off, telling him I wasn’t ready for the commitment, and that I didn’t think it was fair to step into a relationship when our feelings and expectations didn’t match. He was heartbroken, but understood.
In September of 2009 I headed off for my Peace Corps service in the Federated States of Micronesia, in the western Pacific Ocean (just north of Papua New Guinea). We stayed in touch over the two years I was there, writing letters and the occasional email (I didn’t have reliable computer access), but only as friends. He never mentioned his feelings for me. I did, however, have two friends who wrote to me – independently, on separate occasions – to tell me that they thought he was waiting for me. And while there were a couple times when I considered writing to tell him that I still missed him, I always held back. I was so far away, had no idea of when our paths would cross again, and had no intention of trying to resurrect things – not after I’d broken his heart once. I just assumed that I would move on, and that he would too.
I picked up communication with him soon after I moved home this past August, as I did with all my friends, catching up on all the details of our lives that hadn’t made it into our letters. With most of my friends, this flurry of initial contact soon died back down to the occasional Facebook chat – but with my SO, things only increased. We texted back and forth daily, and regularly stayed up chatting online until late into the night. Still, no confession of deeper feelings was exchanged. But I couldn’t get him out of my head, and even though we were living in separate states, I knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable moving on and trying to date anyone else until I’d figured out exactly where we stood in person. Luckily, it just happened to work out that I’d have a chance to go down to St. Louis, near where he lives, for a few days in early April, and we arranged to meet up there.
While I’m sure he’d realized my intent, I didn’t tell him before my visit what I was feeling. Part of me was worried that my desire to be with him was only due to the fact that I hadn’t dated anyone during my 2+ years overseas, and was desperate for some affection, and since he’d been the last person I dated and I knew he still harbored some feelings for me, that I was only building him up in my head out of desperation. I had no idea how I’d feel when I was actually with him again. Luckily, all my worries were unfounded; from the second I saw him and we hugged at the train station in St. Louis, for the first time in two and a half years, it was clear that this was real.
We were staying with a friend of mine who lived in St. Louis. When we got to her house, my SO and I sat up long into the night, talking and catching up and slowly inching closer to each other on the couch in my friend’s living room. Finally he just stopped, looked me in the eyes, and said, “I’ve really missed you.” I said I’d missed him too, and then he leaned in and kissed me. It was the first kiss I’d had since our last kiss back at school nearly three years ago. His lips were the same, but it all felt so very different. When we finally came up for air, I asked him if it was true what I’d been told by my two friends, that he’d been waiting for me to return. He explained that he’d tried to date other girls, but they’d all just reminded him of me, so he eventually gave up on it. Cue some major swooning from me...
We’ve had two short visits now, and are planning a couple more this summer. I’m moving from Michigan to North Carolina for graduate school in a couple months, which will put a lot more distance between us, but he’s also looking for jobs out in that general area. I’ll be living on the coast, and he’s pursuing work in marine biology/water resource management; he’s actually worked near the area where I’ll be at school in the past. It’s kind of amazing that our independent paths have re-converged so conveniently. There’s so much we share, and I can see myself having a future with him. I also think it's good that we had those couple years apart. It gave both of us some time to grow - and for me, the time to mature and gain the self-confidence I lacked in college. I love the person I've become, and the person he's become, and I think we have a stronger foundation now than we would have if we'd jumped into things three years ago. I'm also prepared now to work through a LDR in a way I wasn't before, and I know the time and distance will be worth it. I feel incredibly blessed to have found a man willing to wait for me, and I still can’t really believe he’s mine. I only hope he’ll continue to find me worth the wait!
I met my SO in the fall of 2007 – my third year of college, and his second. We were living in the same dorm building, where he happened to be roommates with a friend of mine. Along with his roommate, I had a number of good friends living in the same building, and my future SO quickly became part of our group. But apart from the fact that I thought he was a generally cool guy, I didn’t give him much thought in those days. This was mainly (okay, completely) due to the fact that I had an enormous crush on his roommate. I’d confessed my feelings to him that winter, but nothing came of it until the following fall, when he finally asked me out.
It was a doomed endeavor from day one, and looking back, the whole thing was terribly unhealthy. I had a lot of insecurities and he had some very serious issues of his own that tore apart not just our relationship, but our friendship as well. But that’s another story, and fortunately we’re back on good terms now. Anyway, all this drama consumed a lot of my attention through most of my senior year. My now-SO and my ex were no longer roommates, but all three of us were working as Resident Assistants in the same building. While this made it impossible to get away from my ex, it also allowed my SO and I to become closer. We started spending more one-on-one time together that spring (my senior year, his junior) – working in the RA office, planning floor events together for our residents, coordinating elaborate pranks against friends (we weren’t very strict RAs
), and just studying or watching movies together. I was finally recovering from the hurt caused by my ex, and was beginning to realize just how awesome this guy was, and that I might have some deeper feelings for him.I was pleased when he asked me out near the end of that school year – but I was surprised to realize just how deep his feelings for me ran. After our second date, he began talking about trying to find a job closer to where I’d be living that summer. I had been accepted into the Peace Corps, and was going to be moving overseas to teach English for two years at the end of the summer, and he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible before I left. This threw me off balance. For one thing, I realized that he was thinking about our relationship much more seriously than I was ready for. I was also unsure about jumping into a relationship when I was not only about to graduate and move to a different state, but then move to the far side of the world for two whole years. The difficulty of maintaining a LDR is one of the primary reasons that Peace Corps Volunteers quit their two-year term of service early, and I didn’t want to put that pressure on myself, or on him. Anyway, I broke things off, telling him I wasn’t ready for the commitment, and that I didn’t think it was fair to step into a relationship when our feelings and expectations didn’t match. He was heartbroken, but understood.
In September of 2009 I headed off for my Peace Corps service in the Federated States of Micronesia, in the western Pacific Ocean (just north of Papua New Guinea). We stayed in touch over the two years I was there, writing letters and the occasional email (I didn’t have reliable computer access), but only as friends. He never mentioned his feelings for me. I did, however, have two friends who wrote to me – independently, on separate occasions – to tell me that they thought he was waiting for me. And while there were a couple times when I considered writing to tell him that I still missed him, I always held back. I was so far away, had no idea of when our paths would cross again, and had no intention of trying to resurrect things – not after I’d broken his heart once. I just assumed that I would move on, and that he would too.
I picked up communication with him soon after I moved home this past August, as I did with all my friends, catching up on all the details of our lives that hadn’t made it into our letters. With most of my friends, this flurry of initial contact soon died back down to the occasional Facebook chat – but with my SO, things only increased. We texted back and forth daily, and regularly stayed up chatting online until late into the night. Still, no confession of deeper feelings was exchanged. But I couldn’t get him out of my head, and even though we were living in separate states, I knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable moving on and trying to date anyone else until I’d figured out exactly where we stood in person. Luckily, it just happened to work out that I’d have a chance to go down to St. Louis, near where he lives, for a few days in early April, and we arranged to meet up there.
While I’m sure he’d realized my intent, I didn’t tell him before my visit what I was feeling. Part of me was worried that my desire to be with him was only due to the fact that I hadn’t dated anyone during my 2+ years overseas, and was desperate for some affection, and since he’d been the last person I dated and I knew he still harbored some feelings for me, that I was only building him up in my head out of desperation. I had no idea how I’d feel when I was actually with him again. Luckily, all my worries were unfounded; from the second I saw him and we hugged at the train station in St. Louis, for the first time in two and a half years, it was clear that this was real.
We were staying with a friend of mine who lived in St. Louis. When we got to her house, my SO and I sat up long into the night, talking and catching up and slowly inching closer to each other on the couch in my friend’s living room. Finally he just stopped, looked me in the eyes, and said, “I’ve really missed you.” I said I’d missed him too, and then he leaned in and kissed me. It was the first kiss I’d had since our last kiss back at school nearly three years ago. His lips were the same, but it all felt so very different. When we finally came up for air, I asked him if it was true what I’d been told by my two friends, that he’d been waiting for me to return. He explained that he’d tried to date other girls, but they’d all just reminded him of me, so he eventually gave up on it. Cue some major swooning from me...
We’ve had two short visits now, and are planning a couple more this summer. I’m moving from Michigan to North Carolina for graduate school in a couple months, which will put a lot more distance between us, but he’s also looking for jobs out in that general area. I’ll be living on the coast, and he’s pursuing work in marine biology/water resource management; he’s actually worked near the area where I’ll be at school in the past. It’s kind of amazing that our independent paths have re-converged so conveniently. There’s so much we share, and I can see myself having a future with him. I also think it's good that we had those couple years apart. It gave both of us some time to grow - and for me, the time to mature and gain the self-confidence I lacked in college. I love the person I've become, and the person he's become, and I think we have a stronger foundation now than we would have if we'd jumped into things three years ago. I'm also prepared now to work through a LDR in a way I wasn't before, and I know the time and distance will be worth it. I feel incredibly blessed to have found a man willing to wait for me, and I still can’t really believe he’s mine. I only hope he’ll continue to find me worth the wait!
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