In need of Advice...LDR and Break Ups
Apologies first hand for this being long but any advice would be welcome to put a perspective i my situation.
Breaking up is still hurting and it just happened a few days ago. He told me that he was clinging onto the hope of us being together and over the weekend he thought really hard and finally let go of hope when he felt better. He had a great job, and a life there that he enjoyed with the people that he loved. He didn't want to move out of the city he was living in. He saw his co-workers with wife & kids, a house, a car, and a life that he wanted. He didn't think that he can be in a serious relationship right now with all this motion going and he didn't want to stop it...he felt that we were going in two different directions. Can someone really stop feeling a certain way over a few days? I don't know but I don't want to give up. I know I was always making excuses to not be with him because I had a job etc...but now with everything out of the picture I see things clearly and I just want to be with him.
I need to be realistic about closing the distance and be there for him in person or else I am wasting his time. But the one thing that always stopped me before was that he was out of a job and unsure when he asked me to move with him. He was feeling down and just needed someone physically and at that time I had a job so I tried my best to comfort him and encourage him not to give up. Now he is back in school working towards a degree, has a job he loves, at home where he has friends and family support. That's why when we chatted earlier last week about visiting in August I was going to finally tell him in person that I wanted to go ahead and seriously consider being together. Now when I was ready to tell him it seems like I just have the worst timing ever.
A little bit of background I think might help...We both met while I was 21 in college, and he was 20. We got together when I was graduating (22) and he got back from his deployment in Afghanistan (21) since then we spent 7 years growing up together and there were times when we lashed out, hurt each other a lot but again we were young. Since then we had gotten better and I feel that growth was a good thing. We knew each other really well...and the last time he came to visit there weren't tears just smiled at each other and we just ended in such a great way we both were so hopeful.
I love him for the boy he was, the man he is now, and the man he wants to be...to be there for him through his ups and downs. I still remember the time he cheated on me, but...that night he cried in my arms when he thought he was going to lose me. I know we have something really special and true. But this time it felt so weird...last time when he broke up with me he was in a bad place and did it through facebook message. This time he was calm collected...it scared me that maybe he didn't want me any more...and over the weekend he just stopped loving me and didn't see me as his one. I'm really not sure what else...he still texts me back when I text, but its very short. I know he has a lot going on so maybe giving him a bit of space would work, but I don't know giving him too much space is a good idea when he can be snatched up by someone else.
OK that's almost the whole story. I don't know if you have ever been in a situation like this, but if you think I should let him go or it's worth saving your advice is welcome. Apologies for it being long...
There is a full account of our break up in the Long Distance Relationship forum titled : Is it impossible to get back together through distance? (as I cannot link being a newb to this website
)
Thank you in advance if you give me advice. I will be frequenting and well I am trying to reconciliation, but at the same time if people have experiences like this positive or negative it would be great help
Breaking up is still hurting and it just happened a few days ago. He told me that he was clinging onto the hope of us being together and over the weekend he thought really hard and finally let go of hope when he felt better. He had a great job, and a life there that he enjoyed with the people that he loved. He didn't want to move out of the city he was living in. He saw his co-workers with wife & kids, a house, a car, and a life that he wanted. He didn't think that he can be in a serious relationship right now with all this motion going and he didn't want to stop it...he felt that we were going in two different directions. Can someone really stop feeling a certain way over a few days? I don't know but I don't want to give up. I know I was always making excuses to not be with him because I had a job etc...but now with everything out of the picture I see things clearly and I just want to be with him.
I need to be realistic about closing the distance and be there for him in person or else I am wasting his time. But the one thing that always stopped me before was that he was out of a job and unsure when he asked me to move with him. He was feeling down and just needed someone physically and at that time I had a job so I tried my best to comfort him and encourage him not to give up. Now he is back in school working towards a degree, has a job he loves, at home where he has friends and family support. That's why when we chatted earlier last week about visiting in August I was going to finally tell him in person that I wanted to go ahead and seriously consider being together. Now when I was ready to tell him it seems like I just have the worst timing ever.
A little bit of background I think might help...We both met while I was 21 in college, and he was 20. We got together when I was graduating (22) and he got back from his deployment in Afghanistan (21) since then we spent 7 years growing up together and there were times when we lashed out, hurt each other a lot but again we were young. Since then we had gotten better and I feel that growth was a good thing. We knew each other really well...and the last time he came to visit there weren't tears just smiled at each other and we just ended in such a great way we both were so hopeful.
I love him for the boy he was, the man he is now, and the man he wants to be...to be there for him through his ups and downs. I still remember the time he cheated on me, but...that night he cried in my arms when he thought he was going to lose me. I know we have something really special and true. But this time it felt so weird...last time when he broke up with me he was in a bad place and did it through facebook message. This time he was calm collected...it scared me that maybe he didn't want me any more...and over the weekend he just stopped loving me and didn't see me as his one. I'm really not sure what else...he still texts me back when I text, but its very short. I know he has a lot going on so maybe giving him a bit of space would work, but I don't know giving him too much space is a good idea when he can be snatched up by someone else.
OK that's almost the whole story. I don't know if you have ever been in a situation like this, but if you think I should let him go or it's worth saving your advice is welcome. Apologies for it being long...
There is a full account of our break up in the Long Distance Relationship forum titled : Is it impossible to get back together through distance? (as I cannot link being a newb to this website
)Thank you in advance if you give me advice. I will be frequenting and well I am trying to reconciliation, but at the same time if people have experiences like this positive or negative it would be great help