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An Artist’s Journey to Love

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    An Artist’s Journey to Love

    My name is Bard and I’m an artist. I’m in Brunei. Just a year ago, I had a steady job as an Illustrator for a Cruise Ship but then I decided to leave it because it didn’t make me happy. While I’m at my mid 20s, I decided that I should do something I love before I turn old and regret looking back. So, I decided I want to pursue into the entertainment industry and become a singer/actor. I am going into this independently without the support of my parents. They are too old and it just feels wrong to ask from them anything. So, I’ve put all my money on the line for this shot into the industry. I will be travelling to Malaysia for photo shoots, videos and demo songs. So, right now, I’m kind of running low on cash.

    A month later, I met this wonderful girl in a Facebook Group. Her name is Mayleah. She’s in Sacramento. We kicked things off because we share a mutual interest when it comes to art. We started off as just friends chatting on Facebook and the Skype. At first, I honestly didn’t have interest in her at all because I just thought she’s just nice to me because of my artwork but as I got to know her better, it was clearly not the deal. She’s the nicest and sweetest person I have ever known. I would admit, I started to be attracted to her but I thought, this is an online thing, it wouldn’t work. So, at that time, I just considered her as a friend. Plus, she was dating this other guy. Anyway, the more we knew each other, the more I got closer to her. She didn’t have to do anything to impress me; she just became her normal self. I on the other hand didn’t have to impress her at all. Even the stupid things that I do, she still likes it. We clicked with each other so instantly that it feels as if we’ve known each other for years. She had lost her ex boyfriend to an accident and I’ve lost my ex girlfriend to an accident too. We haven’t felt true happiness until we’ve known each other. We shared similar interests when it comes to art, games, music, movies, etc. We share similar sense of humor, she totally gets my jokes and I got her jokes as well. As on a more outer look note, to me, she’s the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Everything about her seems perfect to me but as I said earlier, we just have this distance to keep us apart. So, regardless, I just considered her as a friend.

    One day, Mayleah told me that the guy she is dating confessed to her and wanted things to be official with her. When I heard that, it totally broke my heart. That’s when I realized that I liked her more than a friend. I am not good at handling heartaches. So, I wished her happiness and I told her that I wanted a break from the internet and hopefully get myself healed from all of this. She didn’t want me to go. So, for three days, she kept messaging me in my Facebook, Skype, e-mails, etc stating that she wants to speak to me, and then she messaged, “Bard, if you don’t talk to me, I will do something bad to myself.” When I saw that, I straight away contacted her. As much as this hurts me, I didn’t want her to hurt herself. So, I said, “May, please don’t do anything” and she said “I won’t, I knew you cared”, then she quoted a verse from Wuthering Heights, “My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff. He's always, always in my mind, not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself but as my own being. So, don't talk of our separation again, it is impracticable. I can’t be with him. I don’t want to be with him. Bard, you’re my Heathcliff. When I see him, I see a fling but when I see you, I see my future. I want to say that ‘I love you’ Bard”…that’s when my heart froze. She confessed to me. For a moment, I felt time stopped and that when I told her, “I love you too, May”.

    The big question that everyone is wondering, “How could you love someone you haven’t even met before?” and I’ll say, “How could you not? What is love? Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Love is an emotion, we don’t have to be touched to feel love but have our hearts be touched instead. We both felt very happy together. Close your eyes and imagine the perfect man/woman for you and now, imagine he/she is in front of you. Amazing isn’t it? That’s how we both truly feel. Everything was perfect and it’s supposed to be except for the long distance. She made me feel alive again. Like my motivation in life is to strive my best in my career so I can be with her someday. Throughout our time together as a couple, it was magical and it’s true what they say that absence makes the heart fonder. We would always be there to comfort each other during sad times and it didn’t take much effort for us to soothe each other’s hearts. We enjoyed each other’s company in every step of the way. There are times that we don’t see each other online but we just left ‘I miss you’ messages when that happens. For once in my life, I knew that this is real. It is not a fling, crush or an infatuation. I truly love this girl with all my heart and everything I do from now on is to make my way to her.

    Sounds like a perfect fairy tale story, huh? This is when reality kicks in. It’s not always flowers and grassy knolls for us. There are always going to be skeptics from our friends and family regarding our relationship. They are always going to try to convince us that this will not work because of the long distance. We both have been holding on because we both know that being with each other is worth it. We understand that they are concerned and care about us but they don’t know what we both been going through. If only they were in our shoes. Beyond that, there are those who support us and encourage us that there’s always a way. There are days we both felt like giving up. Throughout our relationship, we broke up two times but no matter how we try to move on. We just can’t be away from each other. It’s safe to say that she’s my soul mate and I wouldn’t know what to do without her. We both made plans. Plans on how are we going to be together, our future, and our lives with each other. Even though, things are difficult but we held on until one day.

    One day, she came to me and wanted to break up again but this time it was for real because it’s too difficult. The future we planned for each other is uncertain and it’s just too hard to hold on to. She tried to make the situation as rational as she could. She told me that she still loves me, and probably always will, but it’s just been too difficult. I didn’t take the situation too well because I too, still love her. Tears were dripping out of my eyes, my hands were shaking, my heartbeat was beating fast, etc. I was devastated by the whole thing. We had an argument that night because I didn’t want to let her go. A few days passed. It gave me time to breathe and think. Though my mind is convince that I should just move on and let this go but my heart still burns with caring emotion for her. While I was laying there thinking, I was looking at one of my movie dvd box called ‘Big Fish’. That’s when I realized that this is not over. That night I called her and told her that this Christmas, I am flying over to see her but I need to start raising the fund. I can hear from her voice that she was in tears and was very happy to hear the news.

    That’s when ‘Draw for love’ was born. It is where I will raise the money so that I can fly to her and tell her face to face that I truly miss her and love her with all my heart. My goal is to raise USD$6000. You might wonder, “Why is it so high?” Well, the closer it gets to Christmas, the more expensive the flights are. Plus, I was low on cash because I spend it on my career change. I am planning going into this on my own but my mom knew about the relationship between me and Mayleah. She made a point that if I wait any longer to book the flight, not only will it be expensive but considering that it’s closer to Christmas, flight might be fully booked. So, my mom did something unexpected and lends me her medical emergency money to book the flight. I rejected it but she insisted which ended up in a mini argument. Then she said the sweetest thing, “Bard, I haven’t seen you this happy in such a long time. It will be a shame if you can’t go to here. Here, take it. Pay me back soon. I would give my life to see you happy again. If she’s the one, go.” It brought tears to my eyes. I will be working hard by drawing and raising this fund not only for May but for my mom. Support this Cause by visiting the ‘Draw for Love’ fund page and either commission an artwork or buy a souvenir. Donations are also welcomed. Show us that love in this world still exist. Visit Draw For Love on Facebook on how you can help this boy meet the girl of his dreams and pay back his loving mom.

    Bard Baker

    #2
    I think your cause is really touching! You guys met through art and now you are using art to get to her. I am not an artist but I draw as a hobby, my SO though is studying to become an artist in the future. We also met each other though having art in common and at some point I used money I got, from illustrating a small book, to visit my SO. In my case it hasn't been as hard since I still live with my parents and many of my expenses are solved, but I am really glad you guys are not giving up in spite of how hard things may look. After all, as you said, " Love is an emotion, we don’t have to be touched to feel love but have our hearts be touched instead." I've been long distance for over a year already and I can already tell this is true. Unfortunately many people do not believe in this and they keep on talking negatively about LDRs, sometimes it's very hard to try keeping a head up when everyone says your quest is impossible.

    By the way... "Big Fish" is one great movie and it has many values to learn. Movies can change lives when watched in the right moment... once I thought of breakup and I casually ended up watching "Cinema Paradiso" and realized I could really regret losing someone I love just because of the miles between us.

    Oh and I visitted your facebook page already! You're really a very talented artist and you can definitely go far.

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      #3
      This is an amazing story! I wish you much happiness & hope your visit is wonderful.

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        #4
        Thank you so much Aurora. Well, I guess you know how this story went.
        Sigh.....I still have hopes that someday I'll reside in the States and tell her how I truly feel. well, that's what I say now but things might be different in the future. The fact that we were separated not because of an argument or trust issues. It's this of whole distance thing, been too hard on her and I don't blame her to give up. And because of that, I still love her. All I say to myself right now is that, if we were meant to be together....then the future will bring us both back together. If not, then at least I have no regrets to have loved her.

        Just want to say that you and your bf are adorable. You both somehow look alike...hehe
        And thank you Aurora for the compliment. You can visit my Facebook page "Bardsville Studios"
        Last edited by Bard Baker; August 24, 2012, 12:01 AM.

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