"Because you're burned into my soul..."
I'm in the mood for typing, so instead of typing out my sci-fi story or doing university work for once, I decided to share my story, of how things came to be. Apologies now if my post is long, I'll try to keep it short but I've been well known to write more than I should 
Bit of backstory first. You should know that when I was 15, my dad decided that we should have an internet connection in our house and that it would be good to have it for when I did my final few years of high-school and even beyond that. It opened me up to the internet and all the positives/negatives that come with it. I soon became an avid online gamer, primarily playing a game similar to World of Warcraft called Shaiya, where I met a huge number of gamers like myself who loved role playing fantasy games full of dragons, demons, magic and mayhem, some of whom still stick in my head to this day. It was through this game I met someone from Australia, and it was with him I first got a taste of LDRs. It didn't last long, and we didn't remain close after what happened, but I discovered what long distance was like and how hard it was. It wasn't something for the faint-hearted. It certainly wasn't worth all the heartache and pain if the partner wasn't willing to get it to work. I didn't like to discuss LDRs after that.
Roll on two years, November 2010. My dad had given me his old iPod touch by this time, since he never used it and I was already putting it to good use. It carried all my music, my favourite apps and photos, plus a couple of videos. I was in my 'Junior/Year 12' school year and I wasn't enjoying it. I'll admit I was having a rough time at school. It wasn't the school work, I coped ok with it all. I just didn't have many friends to turn to and confide in, and I didn't really feel like talking to my parents about what was bothering me. I was finding loneliness an issue: I'm introverted, shy and I don't open up to people very well sometimes. I found it hard to make friends with anyone in my school since I didn't really feel like I fitted in anywhere. They all had their own little 'cliques' and I've always been the outsider, simply because of the way I am. I always felt like the odd one out, since I was content to sit on my own and do my own thing. I've never really been into the whole huge-crowd-of-friends-thing. I only like having a couple of close friends who I can do everything and anything with. At the time, I was in a faltering relationship. My boyfriend James, who lived in England whereas I lived in Wales (we'd been in an LDR for a little while), had received news 2 months before that his ex, a girl from Florida who he'd fallen in love with 5 years previously on holiday and was still struggling to get over, had died of cancer at the age of 16. He was broken and I watched as he spiralled downwards into depression. I tried my hardest not to give up on him, even though I knew he was lost to me. Following several failed suicide attempts, I managed to bring him back from the brink and although we were never the same after, I knew I'd saved his life and I could breathe a sigh of relief. We were never the close couple we'd been after that though. Needless to say, I was struggling. I was mentally exhausted, I felt alone and also detatched from reality.
Now I'm not religious. I never have been. But by this time I was desperate for something. Anything. So one night, I got on my knees before I went to sleep and I prayed. I prayed for companionship, for an end to the loneliness that was starting to bug me. I prayed for James, that he'd find peace, and a girl I'd never known. I wanted to believe that there was someone up there watching over me, and I hoped that whoever that was would hear my prayers. I didn't think anything would come of it, but I couldn't have been further from the truth.
2 days passed. A girl called Sam, who I knew over Facebook through an English friend of mine, started to talk to me more. We'd been friends on Facebook for about 6 months but apart from the odd comment and short conversation, we hadn't really spoken much till that point. We'd comment on each other's photos and statuses and it wasn't long before we started chatting on a regular basis and we became good friends. I'd come home from school, switch my laptop on and look for her online on msn, and if she was online we'd have a long conversation that'd last hours. She became the sister I'd never had in a very short space of time, and I loved her company. It was like we'd known each other years. I'm not one to believe in coincidences normally, but this seemed to be too good to be true. The stroke of good luck didn't finish there though. Everything was about to get even better...
I developed a keen interest in all things technological at a young age. I used to watch my dad playing on the first Playstation on his favourite game, an RTS called Dune 2000, and I was fascinated. My dad was a good influence on me I would say. I love gaming, be it on the PS2, PS1, the first Xbox or the 360, or even on the PC, iPod touch or iPhone. I also love music, namely metal and rock, but any genre will do. More often than not at school I'd end up 'hanging out' with the rockers and gamers at breaktimes, although I never really spoke to some of them. During a random conversation with one of the guys, he told me about a music app for the iPod touch one lunch time, called Tap Tap Revenge 3, and when I got home that day, I downloaded it and started playing it straightaway. It reminded me of a mini version of Guitar Hero and Rockband, but far more addictive. I found out the game had an online mode, where you could play against other players, and there were also chatrooms. Whenever I got tired of playing, I'd hop on the chatrooms and talk to random people, although I never really met anyone interesting, at least not until that one fateful day that would change my life forever.
The day we met I'd been moving randomly from one chatroom to another, looking for someone to talk to. I stumbled upon a chat room named after a band I love, Linkin Park, so I went into it. I spent awhile there talking to a couple of people, but nothing came of it. At least, not until a player with the username DarkStar127 said hello to me. I thought I'd have the same old boring conversation as I normally did with everyone else (honestly, most of them in the chatrooms were so dull) especially when he asked me to send him a private message. I normally didn't pm anyone because most of the time, they were more interested in perving on you more than anything else and I hated that. I guess he started talking to me because my username was so out of the ordinary (RAWRcookieso_O aha) and that was fine with me. I felt oddly compelled to message him however, I can't explain why, and so I did. He replied almost instantly, and from then on we slowly got to know each other. He told me his name was Chris and that he lived in Tucson, Arizona. When he told me he was 15, I almost did a double take. I was 17, yet he sounded even more mature than I did! I was extremely wary at first, and I almost didn't believe him, however I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (I had no idea at the time why I did) and we continued to talk, learning more and more about each other every hour that passed. That first day we talked for well over 4 hours, and it was only when he had to go sleep that our conversation was put on pause, until the next day at least. I was glad I'd given him the benefit of the doubt. He seemed like a very friendly, trustworthy, very polite and respectful young man and I was intrigued. I wanted to get to know him better still. From what he'd told me in those few hours, he sounded so very similar to me. He even shared some of my passions, like with the gaming, the music, the story writing. I wanted to call him my friend for sure.
We talked non stop for the next week. Every opportunity we got, whenever we could, we'd talk. Needless to say, neither of us slept that great that week. We stayed up late to talk to one another, and neither of us liked having to put our conversations to one side when real life interfered. He'd stay up late just for me, and I for him. Eventually, our conversations moved to MSN as we exchanged emails, and our chats took an interesting turn. I was well aware of how I felt talking to Chris at this point in time: like with Sam, I considered him a close friend even though it'd only been a short space of time, and I adored his company. It was evident the feeling was mutual, because it was obvious in the way he acted round me when we'd talk. He was extremely bright and clever, funny, charming, lovable...I could continue for awhile! We swapped cell/mobile numbers and addresses, so we could both see where each of us lived. When I googled his location, I remember my mouth dropping open and thinking "I want to go there someday. For sure." He'd wait for me to wake up in the mornings so we could start talking straightaway, and I'd wait for him to wake up so I could do the same for him. It was heartwarming to know how alike we were, how similar our hobbies and music tastes were, how practically identical our personalities were. To say we complimented each other would be an understatement. We were 7 hours and 5000 miles apart and although it was awkward at times we managed to get it to work. The distance was something we didn't think about much if we could help it. We pretty much lived in each other's lives. Us being best friends was an understatement. By this stage, we knew each other like we'd known each other forever.
Bit of backstory first. You should know that when I was 15, my dad decided that we should have an internet connection in our house and that it would be good to have it for when I did my final few years of high-school and even beyond that. It opened me up to the internet and all the positives/negatives that come with it. I soon became an avid online gamer, primarily playing a game similar to World of Warcraft called Shaiya, where I met a huge number of gamers like myself who loved role playing fantasy games full of dragons, demons, magic and mayhem, some of whom still stick in my head to this day. It was through this game I met someone from Australia, and it was with him I first got a taste of LDRs. It didn't last long, and we didn't remain close after what happened, but I discovered what long distance was like and how hard it was. It wasn't something for the faint-hearted. It certainly wasn't worth all the heartache and pain if the partner wasn't willing to get it to work. I didn't like to discuss LDRs after that.
Roll on two years, November 2010. My dad had given me his old iPod touch by this time, since he never used it and I was already putting it to good use. It carried all my music, my favourite apps and photos, plus a couple of videos. I was in my 'Junior/Year 12' school year and I wasn't enjoying it. I'll admit I was having a rough time at school. It wasn't the school work, I coped ok with it all. I just didn't have many friends to turn to and confide in, and I didn't really feel like talking to my parents about what was bothering me. I was finding loneliness an issue: I'm introverted, shy and I don't open up to people very well sometimes. I found it hard to make friends with anyone in my school since I didn't really feel like I fitted in anywhere. They all had their own little 'cliques' and I've always been the outsider, simply because of the way I am. I always felt like the odd one out, since I was content to sit on my own and do my own thing. I've never really been into the whole huge-crowd-of-friends-thing. I only like having a couple of close friends who I can do everything and anything with. At the time, I was in a faltering relationship. My boyfriend James, who lived in England whereas I lived in Wales (we'd been in an LDR for a little while), had received news 2 months before that his ex, a girl from Florida who he'd fallen in love with 5 years previously on holiday and was still struggling to get over, had died of cancer at the age of 16. He was broken and I watched as he spiralled downwards into depression. I tried my hardest not to give up on him, even though I knew he was lost to me. Following several failed suicide attempts, I managed to bring him back from the brink and although we were never the same after, I knew I'd saved his life and I could breathe a sigh of relief. We were never the close couple we'd been after that though. Needless to say, I was struggling. I was mentally exhausted, I felt alone and also detatched from reality.
Now I'm not religious. I never have been. But by this time I was desperate for something. Anything. So one night, I got on my knees before I went to sleep and I prayed. I prayed for companionship, for an end to the loneliness that was starting to bug me. I prayed for James, that he'd find peace, and a girl I'd never known. I wanted to believe that there was someone up there watching over me, and I hoped that whoever that was would hear my prayers. I didn't think anything would come of it, but I couldn't have been further from the truth.
2 days passed. A girl called Sam, who I knew over Facebook through an English friend of mine, started to talk to me more. We'd been friends on Facebook for about 6 months but apart from the odd comment and short conversation, we hadn't really spoken much till that point. We'd comment on each other's photos and statuses and it wasn't long before we started chatting on a regular basis and we became good friends. I'd come home from school, switch my laptop on and look for her online on msn, and if she was online we'd have a long conversation that'd last hours. She became the sister I'd never had in a very short space of time, and I loved her company. It was like we'd known each other years. I'm not one to believe in coincidences normally, but this seemed to be too good to be true. The stroke of good luck didn't finish there though. Everything was about to get even better...
I developed a keen interest in all things technological at a young age. I used to watch my dad playing on the first Playstation on his favourite game, an RTS called Dune 2000, and I was fascinated. My dad was a good influence on me I would say. I love gaming, be it on the PS2, PS1, the first Xbox or the 360, or even on the PC, iPod touch or iPhone. I also love music, namely metal and rock, but any genre will do. More often than not at school I'd end up 'hanging out' with the rockers and gamers at breaktimes, although I never really spoke to some of them. During a random conversation with one of the guys, he told me about a music app for the iPod touch one lunch time, called Tap Tap Revenge 3, and when I got home that day, I downloaded it and started playing it straightaway. It reminded me of a mini version of Guitar Hero and Rockband, but far more addictive. I found out the game had an online mode, where you could play against other players, and there were also chatrooms. Whenever I got tired of playing, I'd hop on the chatrooms and talk to random people, although I never really met anyone interesting, at least not until that one fateful day that would change my life forever.
The day we met I'd been moving randomly from one chatroom to another, looking for someone to talk to. I stumbled upon a chat room named after a band I love, Linkin Park, so I went into it. I spent awhile there talking to a couple of people, but nothing came of it. At least, not until a player with the username DarkStar127 said hello to me. I thought I'd have the same old boring conversation as I normally did with everyone else (honestly, most of them in the chatrooms were so dull) especially when he asked me to send him a private message. I normally didn't pm anyone because most of the time, they were more interested in perving on you more than anything else and I hated that. I guess he started talking to me because my username was so out of the ordinary (RAWRcookieso_O aha) and that was fine with me. I felt oddly compelled to message him however, I can't explain why, and so I did. He replied almost instantly, and from then on we slowly got to know each other. He told me his name was Chris and that he lived in Tucson, Arizona. When he told me he was 15, I almost did a double take. I was 17, yet he sounded even more mature than I did! I was extremely wary at first, and I almost didn't believe him, however I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (I had no idea at the time why I did) and we continued to talk, learning more and more about each other every hour that passed. That first day we talked for well over 4 hours, and it was only when he had to go sleep that our conversation was put on pause, until the next day at least. I was glad I'd given him the benefit of the doubt. He seemed like a very friendly, trustworthy, very polite and respectful young man and I was intrigued. I wanted to get to know him better still. From what he'd told me in those few hours, he sounded so very similar to me. He even shared some of my passions, like with the gaming, the music, the story writing. I wanted to call him my friend for sure.
We talked non stop for the next week. Every opportunity we got, whenever we could, we'd talk. Needless to say, neither of us slept that great that week. We stayed up late to talk to one another, and neither of us liked having to put our conversations to one side when real life interfered. He'd stay up late just for me, and I for him. Eventually, our conversations moved to MSN as we exchanged emails, and our chats took an interesting turn. I was well aware of how I felt talking to Chris at this point in time: like with Sam, I considered him a close friend even though it'd only been a short space of time, and I adored his company. It was evident the feeling was mutual, because it was obvious in the way he acted round me when we'd talk. He was extremely bright and clever, funny, charming, lovable...I could continue for awhile! We swapped cell/mobile numbers and addresses, so we could both see where each of us lived. When I googled his location, I remember my mouth dropping open and thinking "I want to go there someday. For sure." He'd wait for me to wake up in the mornings so we could start talking straightaway, and I'd wait for him to wake up so I could do the same for him. It was heartwarming to know how alike we were, how similar our hobbies and music tastes were, how practically identical our personalities were. To say we complimented each other would be an understatement. We were 7 hours and 5000 miles apart and although it was awkward at times we managed to get it to work. The distance was something we didn't think about much if we could help it. We pretty much lived in each other's lives. Us being best friends was an understatement. By this stage, we knew each other like we'd known each other forever.
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