GF broke up while we are in long distance relationship. Need help please

[borman]

She is trying to move on, If you do love her, leave her and her family be. You need to mourn the loss and eventually you can find someone that is better suited for you and that will treat you as you deserve and be equally invested in a relationship with you as you are with them.

She just told me last night that she is being insulted with the friendly messages I sent her last night. I told her that I did not mean any insult on my messages and I just want to message her as a friend because she said she is fine with us being friends. She then replied that we can still be friends but she does not want constant communication with me and she told me for me not to send her messages again. I have not sent her anything today.

I am really broken into pieces right now. My intentions are pure that I just want to be friends with her since I already accepted that our relationship is already over. Hopefully I can recover to this. I am getting insane now and it is already affecting my work. I cannot concentrate on my job.. :'(

[borman]

This. She's moving on with her life and she's doing what she has to. What you approve or do not approve of her doing as far anything is concerned is no longer your concern. Neither of you are dating each other anymore and I would recommend that you respect that and her feelings about your contacting her family. Because if you don't you may lose her all together and I would also probably forgo calling her your girlfriend anymore. She's not. You need to give yourself some time away from her and let yourself move on from this.

It is really hard not to think of her everyday and I cannot concentrate on my work anymore. I hopefully I can recover from this tragic moment of my life. Thank you for your time to read my story and to give advice.

[Hollandia]

She just told me last night that she is being insulted with the friendly messages I sent her last night. I told her that I did not mean any insult on my messages and I just want to message her as a friend because she said she is fine with us being friends. She then replied that we can still be friends but she does not want constant communication with me and she told me for me not to send her messages again. I have not sent her anything today.

I am really broken into pieces right now. My intentions are pure that I just want to be friends with her since I already accepted that our relationship is already over. Hopefully I can recover to this. I am getting insane now and it is already affecting my work. I cannot concentrate on my job.. :'(

I think you should cut ties for a few weeks and make no attempts to contact her. Perhaps after that you can handle only being friends, right now you are not a place where you can do that. It is time for you to get used to life without her. I won't upset her in the slightest, it will be a relief to her.

[borman]

I think you should cut ties for a few weeks and make no attempts to contact her. Perhaps after that you can handle only being friends, right now you are not a place where you can do that. It is time for you to get used to life without her. I won't upset her in the slightest, it will be a relief to her.

I just messaged her earlier. If she wont respond, I will just start to let her go and move on. I really cannot sense if she is just testing my patience by not responding or she is totally moving on with her life. Thank you so much for responding.

[LadyDaemon]

I just messaged her earlier. If she wont respond, I will just start to let her go and move on. I really cannot sense if she is just testing my patience by not responding or she is totally moving on with her life. Thank you so much for responding.

She is moving on. Let her go. She's already told you not to keep in constant contact with her and you're still contacting her consistently. Part of moving on is putting a barrier between you and the other person to allow yourself to get over the relationship. You need to find something else to do to occupy your time. If you keep going this way she won't be there at all because she will get annoyed at you and walk away.

[borman]

She is moving on. Let her go. She's already told you not to keep in constant contact with her and you're still contacting her consistently. Part of moving on is putting a barrier between you and the other person to allow yourself to get over the relationship. You need to find something else to do to occupy your time. If you keep going this way she won't be there at all because she will get annoyed at you and walk away.

I did that because I am still hopeful that we can fix things and talk via skype because our mode of communication is thru chat only, I cannot really determine her emotions. I hope we can talk via Skype. Whatever will her decisions be when we talk via Skype, I will accept it. Thank you again LadyDaemon for your response

[aoinu99]

Last week I sent flowers to her office in Canada and she received it and she messaged me on Facebook..That was her first message to me after almost a month of not replying to me. She said that she received the flowers and said thank you.

I went to her family's house here in the Philippines last Saturday to bring the package she sent to my house. She sent it on Aug 4 when we were still okay and just arrived last week as well. It is for her family and her gift to me for our anniversary last April because she was not able to sent one during that time. I talked to her mother and her mother said that my GF will be contacting me thru skype once I get home. When I got home. she did message me but we were not able to do skype. Are you a filipino? I will post our conversation here if you want. She said that her decision was really final and said a lot of bad feelings for me. She asked me to accept her decision of breaking up with me. I finally said that I am respecting her decision and asked her if we can still be friends. She said yes but informed me not to contact her family anymore esp. her mother because she said her mother is getting stressed out because of our break up. I asked her mother and her mother said that it is okay for me to text her but I wont do that anymore since my GF asked me to. I sent her friendly messages yesterday an earlier today but she still has not replied to me. Her mother also said that my GF took another 4hour job right after her 8am to 5pm. Because of that, she arrives every 12 midnight in her apartment. Her mother and I are not in approval of her decision to have another work because we want her to have enough rest. I guess she did that so she wont have time for me anymore..

I am not a filipino, my bf is. Reading all your stories, I agree with others. She is trying to move on with her life and you should do too.
If you want to still be friends with her, you should give her some more time to sort out her feelings. Don't contact her anymore for now. Get yourself busy. Take extra work or extra course, start something new, socialize, go exercise. Just don't let yourself idle.

[borman]

I am not a filipino, my bf is. Reading all your stories, I agree with others. She is trying to move on with her life and you should do too.
If you want to still be friends with her, you should give her some more time to sort out her feelings. Don't contact her anymore for now. Get yourself busy. Take extra work or extra course, start something new, socialize, go exercise. Just don't let yourself idle.

I see. I just sent her flowers today but I still have not received a message from her.

I think I need to stop to pursue her again. I just did all of these things because I still want to save our relationship but I think this is really the end of our story.

Thank you all for all your time reading my very long story and for giving me advices. I very much appreciate all your help

[ThePiedPiper]

It does not come across as loving and wanting to save the relationship. It comes across as obsessive, desperate, and is almost stalker-like behaviour. Take it from someone who received the same treatment from her ex: it's not the way to win someone back. She has expressed that she wants nothing to do with the relationship, that it's over, that you can't fix it, so accept it. Once someone reaches that point, there's no going back. *shrug* I'm sorry that it happened - break-ups suck no matter the circumstances - but pursuing her as obsessively and suffocatingly as you are is not going to do anything but push her further and further away from you, even to the point that she might hate you. Try and find something to distract yourself, a sport, a hobby, anything. I promise it will do more for you than continuing to pursue her as you are.

[borman]

It does not come across as loving and wanting to save the relationship. It comes across as obsessive, desperate, and is almost stalker-like behaviour. Take it from someone who received the same treatment from her ex: it's not the way to win someone back. She has expressed that she wants nothing to do with the relationship, that it's over, that you can't fix it, so accept it. Once someone reaches that point, there's no going back. *shrug* I'm sorry that it happened - break-ups suck no matter the circumstances - but pursuing her as obsessively and suffocatingly as you are is not going to do anything but push her further and further away from you, even to the point that she might hate you. Try and find something to distract yourself, a sport, a hobby, anything. I promise it will do more for you than continuing to pursue her as you are.

Thank you ThePiedPiper for reading my story and commenting. I thought that trying to save the relationship will still win her back but I think I need to accept the end of our story even if it is really hard. I need to learn to accept what had happened...

[LadyDaemon]

Now he listens

[borman]

Now he listens

I think I am such a loser and just needs to do a complete overhaul of myself so I will become better next time

[LadyDaemon]

I think I am such a loser and just needs to do a complete overhaul of myself so I will become better next time

I wouldn't say you're a loser. I think you just need to realize when something is over and a person has moved on that that's a cue for you to do the same. It sucks but unfortunately it happens and you have to deal with it. Sending someone flowers and contacting their family after they've already asked you not to and continuing to try and contact them constantly even after they've said they need space is not healthy nor is it being respectful of their feelings. So for future reference,when someone says it's over,leave them alone until they come to you and even if they don't,respect their wishes and leave them be.

[Hollandia]

Let her go. Move on. Find something else to do to occupy your time. Life is too short to waste mooning(no pun intended Moon) over someone that does not want to be with you. Go find someone else that does. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you did that for awhile on this thread on it is not healthy to continue. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get out there and go LIVE your life.

[borman]

I wouldn't say you're a loser. I think you just need to realize when something is over and a person has moved on that that's a cue for you to do the same. It sucks but unfortunately it happens and you have to deal with it. Sending someone flowers and contacting their family after they've already asked you not to and continuing to try and contact them constantly even after they've said they need space is not healthy nor is it being respectful of their feelings. So for future reference,when someone says it's over,leave them alone until they come to you and even if they don't,respect their wishes and leave them be.

I just message her last night on FB to ask if she did receive the flowers I sent the other day and here's what she said:

23:53
GF:
Yes I did receive it
Thank you
Please don't waste your money
I am not giving you any chances
After almost 2 months, i've learned that i don't love you anymore
I told you, i can never go back to the same person who loved you before

------------------

I am really now torn into pieces.

But I really need to move on and just accept the fact.

Thank you very much to all the people that have read my story and gave their comments and advices. I very much appreciate it.

I rest my case.