He isn't really that far away...

[Slyons331]

Where to start...

So last year (May 2013) after school got out my (ex) best friend ashley met this boy. Hunter. He commented on one of her picture saying she was really pretty. This boy was one of our good friends cousin. Stuart. Well they got into contact and started going out three weeks later. They were going out for about a month.

I thought it would be funny to steal his number and text him saying he better not hurt ashley or I'll hurt him. Yada yada yada. After I did he said he never would and that I could trust him. Naturally I believed him. After that whole scene we began just talking. Well two weeks later I realized I really liked him. But I kept it a secret. Would all friends hid it that they liked their best friends boyfriend? Well another month passed and we were text and he said, "your really fun to talk to. Can I tell you something?" Naturally I replied, "sure. And of course anything." Well I was shocked when he said "I like you." But I was even more shocked when I said back to him "I like you too. I've liked you for awhile actually."

The next week we told ashley we had feelings for each other. She wasn't really mad but she was a little sad. As the month went on (June) our feeling got stronger. He ended up dumping her. It was so sad. And I felt so bad because I knew part of it was my fault even if he denied it. Well July came around and he had been talking to me about us maybe going out. I was really excited since I still really liked him. But I had to make sure it was okay with ashley. She said that it was! But we had already been dating behind her back. She found out, and was hurt beyond word. Well I broke up with him and a few days went by and we had everything sorted out. And we began dating again. July 16, 2013. A day I'll never forget.

We dated for a month. He cheated on me. Three times. His excuse? He forgot we were dating. Well I was sad. But I forgave him. He used to be a player so I figured he would mess up. But I made him swear to never make the mistake again. And I changed him. We dated happily for two months. Then distance started getting to us. We were five miles apart. That's an hour and thirty minute walk from mine to his house. But we just never got time to see each other. My parents didn't really want me seeing him. But they didn't care about us talking. And he was a year above me so we didn't see each other at school. So to us. There was distance.

We ended up breaking up. But nothing changed. We still had cute nicknames. We still flirted. We still called each other ours. And a few weeks later we got back together. This happen a few times. The longest time we were together was five months. The beginning of September he said that he loved me. He really meant it. He hadn't felt like this about anyone. He wanted to be with me the rest of his life. I didn't know if I loved him. But three days later. I said it back. I knew I meant it. I love him too.

I got all lovey doves around my parents with him. I said I loved him in front of them. I thought they didn't care. I thought they were happy for me. October 17, 2013. I was banned from talking to him. My birthday was in a few day. I was crushed. I cried for hours on end. I couldn't believe it had happened. Two months later I called him. Behind my parents back. I talked to him for end on end. Even when he got his phone taken. We talked on his house phone. We FaceTimed. It was perfect.

March 13, 2014. The happiest day of my life. I saw him. We met up at a library. My parents didn't know we had set it up. Oh how happy we were. We hugged. We kissed (13 times). We held hands. He put his arm around me. He put his hand in my back pocket. It truly was absolutely perfect. Even thought it was only for ten minutes since my mom just wanted to leave. It was perfect.

Now here's the sad part. April 4, 2014. My parents found the Instagram I made. I wasn't aloud to have Instagram. They found the Instagram we made for each other. They found out I had been talking to hunter. My mom called his mom and now we both aren't aloud to talk to each other. The last thing he said to me was take a picture of a bird for me. I was messing with my camera. Then I hung up on him. As my parents took my iPod way from me. No I love yous. No I'll talk to you laters. Nothing. We had nothing.

Now it is April 13 2014. I'm still crying. I can't get over the fact that I lost him. But we had made the promise to love each other forever. I know that we are meant to be so I will see him again. I will talk to him. All those night talking about snuggling and getting married will happen. I know it. I love him. And he loves me.

I'm never going to forget him. I'll never forget our random conversations. We had our fights and tears. We had our moments when we said terrible thing to each other. But we had out times when we were dorks. We made up names for our pets. And children. We talked about where we wanted to go for our honeymoon. We wrote songs for each other. We told each other stories. We've seen each others lowest points. We know everything there it's to know. And all of strengthened out love. This is just a test from god to prove we are perfect for each other. We know this is going to let us come out on top.

That is my LDR story, but it's not over yet.

Stephanie Lyons + Hunter Gergen ~Forever~

[Sora1101]

Welcome to the forum. But I think you might get some harsh reactions by saying you're in an LDR. Five miles really isn't that far, and I live in Arizona, Chandler area, and I know we have an excellent bus system. I used to bus 15 miles just to get to school in Gilbert so bussing five? Not hard at all, and it's only 85 cents each ride or $2 for an all day pass.

What you have is a logistics problem. Your parents don't really want you seeing each other, that's not distance.

Regardless, welcome and I hope you can find what you're looking for here.

[Ahava]

Welcome Slyons!
I just wanted to say that you might want to be careful with posting your full names on the internet as you have done at the end of your post.

[Dziubka]

A small word of advice:
It's not very wise to post your full name on the public internet. In the end it's your decision and your risk, though. But unless your boyfriend agreed to it (which I guess he hasn't seeing as you two aren't talking lately) you should not make that decision for him.

Apart from that I agree with Sora.

*edit: Ahava That's what I get for doing a million other things while writing an answer

[Ahava]

A small word of advice:
It's not very wise to post your full name on the public internet. In the end it's your decision and your risk, though. But unless your boyfriend agreed to it (which I guess he hasn't seeing as you two aren't talking lately) you should not make that decision for him.

*edit: Ahava That's what I get for doing a million other things while writing an answer

Hehe
Although I'm glad you posted this as you said a lot more than I did, and think your post war clearer.

[80anthea]

You're very young, relationships at your age are tough. I include relationships with your parents in this, if you want them to start treating you like a young-adult rather than a child you need to build a trusting relationship with them first. Don't sneak around, share your feelings with them in a mature way. They will hopefully then start trusting you and treating you in a more mature way making relationships with boys easier.

5miles really isn't a distance, get a bicycle, you'd cover it very quickly. Logistics and parents is what you need to deal with before anything else can happen. You don't even need an ipod or phone for a relationship that close.....

[snow_girl]

Never heard of a 13 year old player before..hmm

[Slyons331]

I for got to mention I'm moving across town in a few weeks so then we will be like 20-30 miles away

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I for got to mention I'm moving across town in a few weeks so then we will be like 20-30 miles away

That is still not long-distance, and really, you are way too young to even be thinking this way! You called him a player, but you were doing the same thing, and wrecked your friendship with Ashley. You are both way too young to worry about being serious! You shouldn't even be dating exclusively this young! Put your focus on school! Get your education, go out with friends, get involved in hobbies and grow up before you start thinking about having a serious relationship. I agree with what your parents did. You might not want to hear it, but those of us who are actually in LDR, can tell you it isn't a bed of roses...and nothing that a 13-yr old should even think about.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Never heard of a 13 year old player before..hmm

I never did, either. I'm a bit shocked at the age of some of the kids that have been showing up here, lately. They don't have a clue what a relationship is about, let alone a LDR.

[Sora1101]

I never did, either. I'm a bit shocked at the age of some of the kids that have been showing up here, lately. They don't have a clue what a relationship is about, let alone a LDR.

I have to agree with this. I started my LDR at 15 and it's no where near the normal teenage relationship most kids look for. Have you considered the fact that you won't be at the same school if he's moving? That means not going to school events together, no time to hang out with him during class, your friends won't really be able to hang out with him. Not to mention your friends won't really be able to be sympathetic with your relationship because they can't understand and after awhile they'll get sick of hearing about it because there's no way they can give advice. You won't be like all your other friends who can hold hands and go on dates every day like your friends which will most likely cause some serious jealousy. That in turn leads to you staying home so you can talk to your boyfriend while all your other friends go out and have fun and you'll drift away from them.

This is what I had to deal with and please please please listen to me when I say it's HARD work and not something I'd wish on anyone. At 13 you have no idea all the other options that are out there for you, sure you like this guy now but who's to say it'll be the same in 5 years? Why not stay friends and if you're both still interested in pursuing a relationship pick it up again in a few years after you've had time to experience being a teenager and exploring your options?

[Slyons331]

For those who's didn't see the tag young love. I get that it isn't that far. I know. I feel weird saying that and honestly hate saying it. For those saying focus on school. I know. That's all everyone tells me. But I could care less about school. I put in my effort and I have all b's. I know I'm too young for a relationship like this. But I REALLY believe that I love him. I mean I can't picture life without him. How am I a player for ruining me and Ashley's friendship? I offered to get rid of him but because she didn't want to hurt me she said she didn't care then she was the one who ended up leaving. Ok player was probably the wrong word to use. He just was always with a different girl every other week pretty much. But he found me and realized how much he liked being commited. How much he liked long-term things. I can't stress this ENOUGH it's young love. It's stupid and crazy. We may not have seen all our option but we've seen each other and that's all we think we need. I could totally be wrong here also. We are two peas in a pod. He's my best friend. And to whoever said we might not be this close in 5 years or whatever. Yea. You're right. I'm mean we pray everyday that this strengthens us. We hope that we will come out on top. That it will work out our way. But until then. We will never know. And all we can do is hope.


P.s y'all are making me feel kinda bad... Isn't this supposed to be a supportive website?

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

For those who's didn't see the tag young love. I get that it isn't that far. I know. I feel weird saying that and honestly hate saying it. For those saying focus on school. I know. That's all everyone tells me. But I could care less about school. I put in my effort and I have all b's. I know I'm too young for a relationship like this. But I REALLY believe that I love him. I mean I can't picture life without him. How am I a player for ruining me and Ashley's friendship? I offered to get rid of him but because she didn't want to hurt me she said she didn't care then she was the one who ended up leaving. Ok player was probably the wrong word to use. He just was always with a different girl every other week pretty much. But he found me and realized how much he liked being commited. How much he liked long-term things. I can't stress this ENOUGH it's young love. It's stupid and crazy. We may not have seen all our option but we've seen each other and that's all we think we need. I could totally be wrong here also. We are two peas in a pod. He's my best friend. And to whoever said we might not be this close in 5 years or whatever. Yea. You're right. I'm mean we pray everyday that this strengthens us. We hope that we will come out on top. That it will work out our way. But until then. We will never know. And all we can do is hope.


P.s y'all are making me feel kinda bad... Isn't this supposed to be a supportive website?

We are all trying to support you, with good advice born of experience. This isn't just a picnic or a bed of roses. Having an LDR is hard work, not always fun, takes a lot of commitment and trust. The fact that he was "always with a different girl every other week" might not necessarily make him a player, but you shouldn't expect him to be exclusive at this point. It's NORMAL at your age to be playing the field, making new friends, dating others (preferably going out WITH other friends, in a group situation, or at least double dating) and learning about relationships.

Also, you really can't call 5 miles a true LDR. Sorry, but if you are just looking for sympathy, you are in the wrong group. We are all pretty outspoken ADULTS, some of us are your parents' ages, so you will get a bit of parental advice, which you don't seem to want. But seriously, don't cut yourself off from experiencing your teenage years. You are just barely into your teens! You have lots of time ahead to live, learn, and fall in love. Real love, not puppy love, not just a serious crush.

There is a group specifically for Teenagers. You might get a few ideas from others there who are going through similar things. But from what I've seen, you are probably the youngest one.

[Slyons331]

......

[Slyons331]

We are all trying to support you, with good advice born of experience. This isn't just a picnic or a bed of roses. Having an LDR is hard work, not always fun, takes a lot of commitment and trust. The fact that he was "always with a different girl every other week" might not necessarily make him a player, but you shouldn't expect him to be exclusive at this point. It's NORMAL at your age to be playing the field, making new friends, dating others (preferably going out WITH other friends, in a group situation, or at least double dating) and learning about relationships.

Also, you really can't call 5 miles a true LDR. Sorry, but if you are just looking for sympathy, you are in the wrong group. We are all pretty outspoken ADULTS, some of us are your parents' ages, so you will get a bit of parental advice, which you don't seem to want. But seriously, don't cut yourself off from experiencing your teenage years. You are just barely into your teens! You have lots of time ahead to live, learn, and fall in love. Real love, not puppy love, not just a serious crush.

There is a group specifically for Teenagers. You might get a few ideas from others there who are going through similar things. But from what I've seen, you are probably the youngest one.

Ok. Thank you. And I get that 5 miles isn't that far. I truly do. And I feel bad saying it. But I'm gunna end up being like two hours away from him. And that is honestly pretty far. So it will be a LDR. Not right now but in a few weeks it will sadly.

When he was with all those other girls he was bullied for it. So him changing because of me is a big accomplishment tbh.

And I know I still have a long time before I need to fall in love that's why I'm thinking this communication error is a really good thing. I mean we will get to learn and expirence more. And in then end if our feeling haven't changed we will know if it's really meant to be.

But thank you very much for your kind words. I appreciate. You treat me like I actually know what the heck I'm talking about unlike pretty much everyone else I know.